Monday, August 1, 2011

Help! I've fallen and can't reach my iPod!

Middle-aged stinks!

When I see this commercial for Urloic, a medication for people who suffer from gout, I have to admit I see an old guy. My apologies to the actor who brilliantly nails the part...of an old guy who suffers from gout.

So if gout is an affliction on the elderly, then why in the blue blazes did it attack me this past week?!

Okay. Just stop! I know you've already read this year about bad backs, sebaceous cyst and the battle of the middle-aged spread. Maybe you should add denial to the list as well. While I don't necessarily think of myself as old, apparently medical demographics has a different point-of-view. I guess that it's time for me to face the facts of the mileage starting to pile up on the old odometer...and hard miles at that.

There are few things more humbling in life than trying to out crawl your 8-month old to get to the bathroom door (I know I would have won too if I'd been even with her at the start. Little cheater!). But that's the lowly place I found myself this weekend when the uric acid mechanism in my left ankle went haywire. So just what is this gout thing? How did I get it? I mean after all, I don't eat real sausage anymore. Just the fake turkey stuff. Sausage is what always triggered an attack in Uncle Bob.

The scientific answer is this:

All I know is this:

Now before you go making fun of my white ankle socks and Crocs, please take note to the swelling in my left ankle first. And that's much improved! Mrs. Tony C tells me the white socks with open shoes is an old man thing. Apparently either she isn't getting the memos or completely in denial about my decrepit state too.

But I'm all about the fix. So from the comfort of my own bed with leg properly elevated on pillows, a quick internet search produced a plethora of information...and information is power...even for old people. While the forces of DNA can't be disallowed for my latest affliction, diet seems to play a large part too. No problem there. Been working rather diligently on that one already. The key to preventing a flare up seems to be avoiding foods rich in the compound purine. Okay. So what are those foods?

From the Web-MD website:

Examples of high-purine choices to avoid:
•Certain seafood (canned tuna, dark meat fish)
•Certain shellfish (shrimp, lobster, scallops)
•Non-diet soft drinks

What?! I'm just thankful Honey Bunches of Oats and turkey sausage isn't on the list or I wouldn't have anything left to eat!

Wow middle-aged stinks.


David-FireAndGrace said...

Sorry about your left ankle, but I am having a hard time typing while I roll on the floor laughing my butt off over the Crocs. When Charlotte was little she used to call them... never mind....

Enjoy the chicken, turkey and good old H2o!

Anonymous said...

Ouch! At least you didn't lose your sense of humor. I've suffered from gout attacks for years and feel you pain. I get them in the feet and literally am crippled from them for a few days. There is a medicine for flare ups called Losartan. Keeps mine to just a few days. Good luck.


Tony C said...

I knew you would I was taking the picture.

Thanks Richard and best of luck to you on the battle too.

I opened my lunch box to find a Fiber One bar today, so apparently Mrs. Tony C is getting the memos now. Love her heart.

David-FireAndGrace said...

I am going to have to send you my diet! Actually I am changing it. I run 7 days a week. Last week I started to get more into vegetables and fruit (more then before), while lessening the fat and protein protein; I gained 2 pounds! I am back to more meat and fish!

Mesha said...

lol, good to know! ;)