I'm really trying to follow words of wisdom from George Bush I and be a 'kinder, gentler' blogger, but it just doesn't seem to be in me. Anyone who could write a blog about their dear beloved grandmother and still manage sarcasm and a contemptuous tone...it's just inconceivable and shameful...and shamed I am. My defense is lame, but one I'm sure anyone not living in an isolated cave somewhere can probably relate. It's the blasted mainstream media making me jaded and mean!
Remember, I've resolved to receive my daily news from a source other than Yahoo's main page, which also happens to be my browser home page. Why...you ask? Well, it seems scientist have dubbed us 'creatures of habit,' and no amount of pharmaceutical therapy or self-help workbooks will ever change what we are...so deal with it! You are what you are...or it is what it is...or you can't teach an old dog...for Pete's sake... or whatever in the cliche handbook fits best here!
See what I mean. Just the simplest task of elementary sentence formation sets me off these days. What have I become...what have I become. It all started with talk radio some years back. You see, I was in perfect bliss cruising year after year on this rock around the sun watching the evening news with Dan Rather or reading the USA Today for my national and world news. Occasionally, I would pompously venture out to more grandiose sources like MacNeil/Lerner and the Wall Street Journal, but I found the shortage of commercialization unsettling and the information overly concentrated. After all, CBS was always there to say...
But I digress...
Finally the awakening occurred..a metamorphoses of informational processing. The genesis was talk radio. The Rush rush of the 1990's was parlayed with easier access to the information superhighway or world wide web created by fellow Tennessean Al Gore. Soon, I was discovering that maybe Dan Rather wasn't so forthright with his information and underneath the veil of assumed integrity surrounding the main stream media was a hidden agenda...to lie to the American people about virtually everything.
Thank you Rush, Sean, and you sick, twisted freak Glenn. Thank you Red State Update, Drudge Report and anncoulter.com. My eyes are now opened. My bomb shelter is nearly finished. My family is better prepared for the certain national armageddon on the horizon with a bla... I mean Democrat/liberal president in the White House. I'm no longer an injudicious follower of the bogus mainstream media. Free at last, free at last...no wait...that might sound too liberal. My chains have...no...that's too churchy. Ann Coulter is my hero and the greatest author of our time! Yeah, that sounds about right. She's such a nice lady and completely understated.
Many of you with the sharpest deductive reasoning skills might have noted the irony of my blog being called Tony C Today. In honor of the USA Today...which could just as easily be called News Lite in Color...I named my blog and try to fall in the shadow...no, follow in the footsteps...that sounds stupid...oh $@&% and >#%*?...great! There goes my stinkin' blood pressure! Why is English so flipping difficult! Spanish isn't that...gasp...please forgive me for even thinking that.
Oh well, I need to go work in my Be A Less Cynical You in 30 Days workbook anyway. Have a nice day everyone. I feel so much calmer remembering I'm conservative.