Monday, April 4, 2011

A post that most assuredly comes with a disclaimer...

I truly value friendship...

Within the balancing act we call life, I place more importance on being a friend than having a friend too. I just really enjoy being called someone's friend! Next to being a child of God, a faithful and true husband, and then a dedicated father, being a friend is right up there in importance and priority for me.

I've learned a great deal about friendship in my life's journey to this point too. If being a 'bad' friend required a 12-step program for recovery, that step involving apologies might be embarrassingly long in my plan. Believe me...I pain to even type those words much less relive in my mind the circumstances incorporating each situation. If you're reading this and the proverbial shoe fits...I'm really sorry, and if it's any consolation whats-so-ever, I'm not that person you knew back then today.

What I don't understand is the vast difference in which men and women approach the relationship dynamic called friendship.

Don't give me that! You know EXACTLY what I mean by that statement. 

Now I'm by no means saying one is right and one is wrong...just different. Take for example, say, Mrs. Tony C and myself (gulp). I have true friends that go back years...even before the Reagan Administration (yes, I'm that old). I may not talk to some of them once a year or even every other, but they are still what I consider true friends. How do I define friendship you ask? I define a true friend as someone who, if I'm in need, will answer the call and rally support at a moment's notice. They would also know the reverse would apply should they find a need. No questions, no hesitation. Flare goes up...calvary's on the way. I don't even have to think twice about it.

In this category, I could easily put 20 people, all of whom coicidentally would be male (minus Mrs. Tony C. of course). Some I'm close with today, and some I've not spoken with directly in over a year. There's no need for regular communications if the situation isn't condusive to such, I've still got your back! You got problems, then I've got them too...kinda of stuff.

Then there's the fairer sex. Honestly, I never know who's in and who's out at any given minute much less day with Mrs. Tony C. But now she's not alone in this club. She just happens to be my point of reference at the present. I've literally been talking to what I thought was one of her friends while we were out shopping when something along these 'hypothetical' lines accured:

Tony C: Hey honey, look who I found.

Mrs. Tony C*: Oh hey! How are you? Have have you been? You look great. How's the little one? I know, they grow so fast don't they! So good to see you! We need to get together soon. Bye-bye. (hug)

Tony C: It was great seeing her. She looks good to have just had a baby...doesn't she?

Mrs. Tony C: So what are you saying? I'm fat! That what you're saying? For the record, I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans a week after giving birth!!

Tony C: (totally confused) I...I ...

Mrs. Tony C: I nothing! I see how it is...can't leave you alone in the grocery store for a minute.

Tony C: I thought you two were good friends?!

Mrs. Tony C.: Do what?! I haven't talk to her in a month! She's too busy for me...

Tony C: She just had a baby!

Mrs. Tony C: You taking up for her now? Is that what's you're doing? You don't know her type! I know her type. I've seen her type. Only my friend when she needs or wants something. Telling me... made me go and have to talk to her. Did you see how she was checking out our buggy. She's just nosey. Plain nosey.

Tony C: I'm really sorry. I just thought you two had been close friends for years.

Mrs. Tony C: You're just dumb sometimes. You know that? Dumb.

Tony C:  (mumbling under breath) I tell you dumb, telling me, ain't never gonna figure out...

Mrs. Tony C: Did you say something? Speak up!

Tony C: I said I want some Cap'n Crunch!

Mrs. Tony C: What are you? Five? Guess you think I need some Special K?

Tony C: Hey look! It's...(pausing)...are we talking to her?

Mrs. Tony C:  (shoving me out of the way) Oh hey girl! How are you? You look good!

Okay guys. If you have a wife or girlfriend, go ahead and tell me you've never been participant in a conversation like or very close to this one...I double-dog dare you. My true friends will even be so brave as to leave a comment of support...which I most surely will need after this is posted.

* The Mrs. Tony C character depicted in this post is not based on any living or deceased person to knowledge by the same name and should not in any way reflect on a real person by the same name or help me God.


Mrs. Tony C said...


Michelle said... funny. And I don't believe a word of it. ;)

I can promise dear husband...has never been a part of a conversation as such. He is always aware of my standing with any particular person. Probably goes alone with the territory of being miles and miles away from our closest friends and family. We tell each other everything. And I mean every minute detail. I'm apparently more male "friendship oriented." I'm sure if I lived in McMinn County the story may be different though.

Tracy said...

Michelle's first line above echoed my thoughts exactly

" funny. And I don't believe a word of it."

Mrs. Tony C said...

Thank you ladies! My husband is prone to hyperbole.

Funny stuff, but not completely factual if you know what I mean.

Tony C said...

HEY! Where are all my guy friends?!

Thanks for the support guys! Did you see the Double Dog Dare?

Keith said...

This seems to fall in the "if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you follow?" category. That being said, I'm here for you friend. If you need a place to stay for a day or two, you know where I am. :)

David-FireAndGrace said...

LOL, what a hoot.

It is the truth though. I was at the local Walmart, and I saw someone we knew from our old church. I asked my wife if we could go say hello. I'll be in automotive when your your done. If she'd been pretty, my wife would have scratched her eyes out.