My friend David Johndrow is broken...
Oh it's not a permanent problem, and he's on the mend (but please still lift him in your prayers). A lot of you know David from his own blog over at Fire and Grace, his Monday post on Kingdom Bloggers and/or his comments left on my blog. Love the guy! We chat fairly often on the phone across the Mason/Dixon line (that's allowed now), and I honestly consider David a true friend (as defined in Monday's post). Since he was in the midst of possible cardiac arrest, I forgive him for not throwing a little love my way on Monday's controversial post that provoked unkind words by some.
But let's not revisit that fiasco. Hey people...I was just kidding...sorta...
But I digress... so in honor of my vascularly clean brother of the catheterized order, my post today will be in the Johndrow style of 5 and 1/2 points. I enjoyed his series in this style, and as they say, imitation is the ultimate form of flattery.
Since I ever so slightly poked fun of the fairer sex earlier this week (ahem), I find it only just to reflect inward at the simple, neanderthal-like thought process of my own sex...and in particular...me. I feel pretty confident I reasonably represent the common interest and thought process of all Y chromosome humans, but then again, making such often incorrect assumptions is a standing pattern for most males too.
In the spirit of either gender equality or continuing proof men are complete and hopeless idiots, I give you the Johndrow-style list of the 5 and 1/2 material things that do or would make my life much more livable...or at least enjoyable:
Not that there's any danger of that healthy crap ever actually being in the bowl...just the gold standard for cereal measurement.
-2 One brand name power tool that cost over $500. Yes, we're
stepping this list up a bit, and yes I know my example picture is well above $500...but a man can have a dream can't he?! Nothing is more emasculating than to be talking with you buds about fixing up the 'cave' and accidentally reveal your tool/war chest is comprised mostly of Wal-Mart brand tools. I pray you never experience the complete and utter humiliation of a friend stopping by to do a quick adjustment on his wheels, and you have to offer up use of the Dollar General tool box and tool set you received for Christmas in 1994. I'm stopping here now...I find myself getting really upset.
I'd better do it because apparently the public school system stopped teaching that stuff years ago...
-4 A completely juvenile toy for my personal amusement. Are you really surprised? Guys have long been noted for their toy fetishes. Hey, we actually coined the phrase he who dies with the most toys wins... how much more preposterous can you be than that? I'm not looking for my own personal playroom filled with G.I. Joes and Hot Wheels from days gone by here. I'm convinced one of the reasons God gave me three daughters is He knows I'm prone to covetousness behavior while roaming around in Toys-R-Us. There would never be an enough if my focus was in the Star Wars action figures aisle instead of the My Little Pony section.