There's just no need for that sort of language young man...

I had a serious crack up moment yesterday during church...

Things were kicking at First Free Will Baptist Church in Church Hill, Tennessee yesterday morning! The second service started with a couple of baptisms followed by some very spirited worship music. Sandwiched in between a couple of congregational Praise Team songs, our choir did two numbers that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. God's Spirit was present and very evident...because that's about all that can get a bunch of conservative Baptist up out of their seats and at least acting excited about being at church . For some odd reason, Baptist think all the 'Shout Glory!' moments belong to the Pentecostals. Don't get me wrong, I love the church I attend and the people who go there with all my heart...I just wish we'd collectively get as excited more often about Heaven as much as we do about March Madness. Sometimes we're just too much Joel Osteen and not enough T.D. Jakes.

I say that about the congregation though and not about our pastor. There's definitely some T.D. in him, and we get a glimpse from time to time too. I love my pastor. He's a learned man of God's word, an excellent speaker, a snappy dresser and thankfully my friend. For a couple of years, he was also my radio broadcasting partner for our local high school's football team. Good times. We laughed a lot telling stories back and forth and spent some good quality time in fellowship too.

So, Pastor D is into his sermon and working the charged up, receptive crowd...I'm sure a dream scenario for a preacher.  The sanctuary is still buzzing from a corporate worship high, and he's making witty observations, zinging points of piousness and generally bringing the Word as the supportive interjections and Amen's are flying from the front pew to the crowded back.

Then it happened.

The man went and had the audacity to mention that word in his sermon. You know the one...the 's' word...in the sanctuary! (gasp)

(Cue needle scratching across record sound effect) Congregational lock-up. Silence...then cricket noises. A man sitting close to me actually froze looking  like the horse from Animal House after Flounder fires the pistol loaded with blanks at him.

Did he actually just say sex, teenagers and virginity in the same sentence...in church?! Oh the humanity...

Don't be mistaken to believe the old school way of thinking doesn't still exist in the Bible Belt. You know what way I'm talking about too...the if we don't talk about it then it really doesn't happen attitude. So if we don't talk about our teenagers having premarital sex...they must not be doing it...I mean...having sex that is. My forward-thinking (don't even try to insert the word liberal here) father-in-law leaned over and said to me- There should have been 'Amens' all over this church.   

You better believe there should have been enthusiastic Amen's coming from the fired up congregation! Pastor D made an excellent point to the young people in attendance about the virtues of abstinence, purity and the sanctity of marriage. Come on people!

But the guy who should have been actually shouting preach it brother! the loudest was...the man with three daughters...sitting right next to his father-in-law! Who was sitting right next to his teenager sitting next to her boyfriend. (sigh) I have no excuse. I froze in the moment too...like that proverbial deer in the oncoming headlights. My reserved Methodist roots too closely connected and even related to my current denominational standing. May the Spirit please forgive me for being a wet blanket on such a smoking hot service...

The uneasiness lingered just briefly, and Pastor D had everyone reeled back in from their temporary lapse of  flabbergast. Sure. He's been there before in sermons and knew exactly what to do. I'm pretty sure the tactic is actually taught at seminary schools...when in a Baptist church...just start talking about food!

I just love being a Baptist...at times I'm really quite good at it.