There's just no need for that sort of language young man...

I had a serious crack up moment yesterday during church...

Things were kicking at First Free Will Baptist Church in Church Hill, Tennessee yesterday morning! The second service started with a couple of baptisms followed by some very spirited worship music. Sandwiched in between a couple of congregational Praise Team songs, our choir did two numbers that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. God's Spirit was present and very evident...because that's about all that can get a bunch of conservative Baptist up out of their seats and at least acting excited about being at church . For some odd reason, Baptist think all the 'Shout Glory!' moments belong to the Pentecostals. Don't get me wrong, I love the church I attend and the people who go there with all my heart...I just wish we'd collectively get as excited more often about Heaven as much as we do about March Madness. Sometimes we're just too much Joel Osteen and not enough T.D. Jakes.

I say that about the congregation though and not about our pastor. There's definitely some T.D. in him, and we get a glimpse from time to time too. I love my pastor. He's a learned man of God's word, an excellent speaker, a snappy dresser and thankfully my friend. For a couple of years, he was also my radio broadcasting partner for our local high school's football team. Good times. We laughed a lot telling stories back and forth and spent some good quality time in fellowship too.

So, Pastor D is into his sermon and working the charged up, receptive crowd...I'm sure a dream scenario for a preacher.  The sanctuary is still buzzing from a corporate worship high, and he's making witty observations, zinging points of piousness and generally bringing the Word as the supportive interjections and Amen's are flying from the front pew to the crowded back.

Then it happened.

The man went and had the audacity to mention that word in his sermon. You know the one...the 's' word...in the sanctuary! (gasp)

(Cue needle scratching across record sound effect) Congregational lock-up. Silence...then cricket noises. A man sitting close to me actually froze looking  like the horse from Animal House after Flounder fires the pistol loaded with blanks at him.

Did he actually just say sex, teenagers and virginity in the same sentence...in church?! Oh the humanity...

Don't be mistaken to believe the old school way of thinking doesn't still exist in the Bible Belt. You know what way I'm talking about too...the if we don't talk about it then it really doesn't happen attitude. So if we don't talk about our teenagers having premarital sex...they must not be doing it...I mean...having sex that is. My forward-thinking (don't even try to insert the word liberal here) father-in-law leaned over and said to me- There should have been 'Amens' all over this church.   

You better believe there should have been enthusiastic Amen's coming from the fired up congregation! Pastor D made an excellent point to the young people in attendance about the virtues of abstinence, purity and the sanctity of marriage. Come on people!

But the guy who should have been actually shouting preach it brother! the loudest was...the man with three daughters...sitting right next to his father-in-law! Who was sitting right next to his teenager sitting next to her boyfriend. (sigh) I have no excuse. I froze in the moment too...like that proverbial deer in the oncoming headlights. My reserved Methodist roots too closely connected and even related to my current denominational standing. May the Spirit please forgive me for being a wet blanket on such a smoking hot service...

The uneasiness lingered just briefly, and Pastor D had everyone reeled back in from their temporary lapse of  flabbergast. Sure. He's been there before in sermons and knew exactly what to do. I'm pretty sure the tactic is actually taught at seminary schools...when in a Baptist church...just start talking about food!

I just love being a Baptist...at times I'm really quite good at it.

That's just the way it is...still today Walter.

I don't watch the evening news that much anymore. There was a time when watching the local news at 6:00 then Uncle Walter at 6:30 was a household ritual. I kept that up even after Dan Rather took the once thought irreplaceable chair of Cronkite in 1981 and held the post for 24 years on his own. I even made it a point to usually catch the local news again at 11 before Carson or Letterman drifted me into la-la land to close the day.




Come to think of it, I don't read the newspaper anymore either. The USA Today (which this blog affectionately parodies in name) and my local newspaper were daily reads at one time. I'm not sure if somewhere I lost faith in the media's integrity or focus on the source as each became drowned out in a backdrop of news media overexposure (radio, 24 hour news stations, blogs, magazines, etc). At this point...it's hard to say.

One thing I am certain about though is the increased negativity of both televised and printed news- local and national. I personally can't stand it. One can't help but be jaded by the constant barrage of the Right crying 'liberal media' or the farcical discrediting from the Left of conservative sources. As for me...I don't trust either side at this point and have seen point blank examples of both sides distorting the truth to bolster their agenda. Before you point out the obvious to me, I'm sure Uncle Walter did the same. But I was mostly ignorant to the fact then and still looked at journalism as an honorable profession. Of course...I thought the same of the legal profession at the time too. I guess we all grow up and lose the illusion of Santa Claus eventually.

Watching or reading my local news anymore is just a 'Who's Who' of the recently arrested. It's the same stuff night after night of blah, blah arrested...blah, blah charged. I would rather watch a Seinfeld rerun or episode of Man vs. Food to wind down the day. A person would think crime had just been invented, and until recently, wasn't the norm. Here's a news flash for you...people have been doing stupid things for a very long time. Don't believe me, just read your Bible.

In my best infomercial pitch...But wait, there's more! Apparently people have become so enamored in the daily crime watch, a seriously opportunist entrepreneur now publishes a weekly newsprint of nothing but recently arrested local mugshot and charges.



If only I were joking...

The monthly circulation of the paper is up to 30,000 and climbing. Unbelievable. Stores sell out the same day the new copies are delivered...at a dollar a pop! I applaud the audacity of the publisher and shame the patrons who buy them.

I just look through the one at work to make sure none of my relatives are looking to move residence...seriously.

There are no complaint boxes...so just stop complaining.

July always brings the familiar to my little home town nestled in the mountains of East Tennessee...the Fourth parade down Center Street, fun on any one of the numerous surrounding lakes, the first ripe local tomatoes arriving, and of course, FunFest.

I'm sure those of you not from my little home town are wondering- What the heck is a FunFest? In most simple terms, FunFest is a community celebration about just being a community.

Now if that sounds a little too Beijing socialist or red communist to you, the definition of community is more akin to family and much less about government and sociological ideas when it comes to FunFest.

People from all aspects of the demographic scale come together, have fun and celebrate at the nine day event. Believe it or not, the three-decades running annual festival isn't centered around making money or the opportunity...well...there is ample opportunity...to participate. The headline concert this year was the Zac Brown Band, and tickets were just $15 inside the local high school's football stadium. Of course, you could do like me and my family and just sit outside the stadium and hear the music just as good.

Now believe me, I wasn't trying to get out of paying $15 to hear a band I couldn't name a single hit for. Plenty of people were excited about the concert, and tickets were sold out days before the Saturday night performance. I was just adhering to our family tradition of laying a tarp out along the main road (which is closed) and in front of the Taste of Tri-Cities smorgasbord of food vendors, sitting around with family and friends talking and having a good time, visiting with the number of other family and friends also gathered, eating, laughing and waiting for the event- ending fireworks display that closes the door on another year. It's just what we do...and I thank God we have the opportunity.

There are races and sporting competitions of every kind, a parade, dances for the young and elderly, an free outdoor movie for the whole family, pageants, smaller block parties, dinner shows, a morning and evening with a dozen or more hot-air balloons launching, a community medallion hunt, a food vending area for local restaurants, and all-in-all just a lot of good, wholesome fun with family and neighbors.

Even though the local temperatures soared into the upper 90's most of last week, people still flocked to events and had a great time. Most of the ticket is picked up by local businesses, and hoards of volunteers come out each year to take care of everything from traffic control to litter pick-up. Normally, my local town boast a population just north of 50K, but FunFest sees the city swell to over double that number as area communities join in on the event or some who have moved away return to vacation and catch up. It's a win-win situation for both residence and businesses of our friendly little town.

FunFest originated from an idea to unite the increasingly divided community of 1980 that was at odds over a number of political and social issues, and it has blossomed to success beyond all expectations from those plans 30 years ago. There are still a lot of things to gripe and moan about in the world these days. I'm just glad for at least one night each summer as FunFest comes to a close...all that seems a million miles away from my little home town.