Monday, February 22, 2010

Don't make me bash you with this sword of the Spirit...

There should be no doubt in the minds of my regular readers that I adore my wife. She is my life partner, best friend, soul mate, dream girl, supporter and confidant. Mrs. Tony C is a personal source of motivation that keeps me on my toes and razor she doesn't let me walk out of the house with the hair on the back of my head not combed or with a dryer sheet still stuck to my pants.

There's a pretty good age difference between us. Although I know Mrs. Tony C is far more spiritual at this point in her life than I was at the same point in mine, we're still at somewhat different levels overall. With time, I've mellowed and don't get near as excited about stuff as I once did. What I mean by that is I don't get upset about most things. With experience comes many various realizations, one being that getting mad or holding a grudge only results in adding stress to your own life. It really has no bearing on the other person...well, unless they work for you. So these days I rarely get fired up about something someone says or does.

When Mrs. Tony C is wound up about something or someone, nothing aggravates her more than my laissez-faire attitude either. As a matter of fact, she will often redirect her petulance at yours truly (gasp!)...usually resulting in name calling...very specific name calling. At my first mention of loving others as you love yourself or forgiveness...BAM!...I become Church Guy!

I'm quite sure my mental image of Church Guy (see left) is vastly different from Mrs. Tony C.

Mrs. Tony C: That (insert woman A) just burns me up! Does she not know everyone can see her throwing herself at (insert man A). He's just separated from (insert woman B). It's not like they're divorced.

Me: Can you believe that (with complete apathy never looking up from book).

Mrs. Tony C: They could work things out after all. I hope (woman B) doesn't find out about this...

Me: I do hope they work things out. I've always liked (man A) and (woman B). Divorce is awful.

Mrs. Tony C: You know all about (woman A) don't you?

Me: (book down, fully engaged) That was years ago! You were in grade school when I dated her!

Mrs. Tony C: Well I don't like her. Breaking people up and all.

Me: You don't even know anything is going on between (woman A) and (man A)! She's really not a bad person.

Mrs. Tony C: Why do you have to defend her like that! Things got ugly between you two I remember you saying.

Me: Yes...but that was a long time ago. I'm way past that and would never wish any bad on her.

Mrs. Tony C: we go...Church Guy is in the house! (mocking) I just love everybody. Everybody just loves me. Can't we all just get along like Jesus?

Me: That's not fair! I try to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Mrs. Tony C: Funny that only happens with females!

Me: Not true! (insert man B) was saying some pretty bad things about me at one point, and I don't hold any grudge about that. I love him as a brother...

Mrs. Tony C: Baloney! You don't give him the time of day at church!

Me: If you don't have anything good to say...

Mrs. Tony C: Where's that at in the Bible Church Guy?

Me: I believe it's in the NIV...besides, how did this get off on me?

Mrs. Tony C: I'm sorry Church Guy. I forgot you're above it all!

Me: (back to reading) If I'm the Church Guy, doesn't that make you the Church Lady?

Mrs. Tony C: Who?

Me: (sigh) Sorry...before your time...

If she reads past the first paragraph, I'm sure I'm going to hear it about this post...keep me in your prayers.


David said...

Go Church Guy! Remember, it's so much easier if we pretend they know more!

Michelle said...

Oh...but just like Mrs C...Jesus would even call a spade a spade.

Tracy said...

I for one would like to see how Mrs Tony C envisions church guy. (Since the SNL routine about the Church Lady was not before my time, I was somewhat envisioning a male version of that character......)

jasonS said...

I'm glad this type of conversation is not just happening around our house. Not that I like other people arguing, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. :)

Mesha said...

bah hahahahaha...