$700 Billion? That's all you need? No problem...

My grandfather used to tell me, "When you're hip deep in snapping turtles, it's too late to think about draining the pond." He was quite gregarious and most never subtle, and the obvious wisdoms he spewed were often lost in his happy-go-lucky demeanor. I remember this particular colloquial idiom because the words mentally echoed in the midst of a personal crisis which were, at one time, all to frequent in my life. According to my grandfather, "So what do I do now?" is best preceded by "That doesn't sound like a good idea" and can, in fact, lead to the complete unnecessity of the first statement all together.

To the subject at hand...So what do we do now? Since it's obviously and unfortunately moot for the latter of the two statements above, we (read Americans) are left anxious and near panic over the current U.S. financial crisis spirally completely out of control.

(Uncle Sam enters stage right...no left...wait, right) "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."

There would be a pause here in the production for audience laughter. To bad this scene isn't a line from a comedy, but rather a scene playing out from a tragedy of epic proportion.

I think most of us (again, read Americans) are just plain... mad. Maybe that's not strong enough. How about...angry. The prevailing hover of political apathy in the public air has been whiffed away by a strong high pressure system located over Washington DC that seems to be impacting everyone's local weather. On a global scale.

So, what do we do now? Okay, ignoring the question doesn't seem to make it go away. I don't know the answer, and I'm pretty sure the elected people who helped get us here in the first place don't have the answer either. No, they're too business blaming it on the Bush Administration, the Democratic controlled Congress..heck, they're too business blaming each other! All while floating plans to spend nearly a trillion dollars of our money.

Republicans: "We have a plan."

Democrats: "That might work. We can't vote for that!"

"How about this plan? OUR plan."

Republicans: "That might work too. We can't support that!"

Democrats: "This is your fault!"

Republicans: "No, this is your fault!"

Democrats: "Stop touching me!"

Republican: "You stop touching me!"

Both burst into tears.

Man, I miss my grandfather.