Tuesday, October 25, 2011

To boldly go where no man has gone before...

I love my daughters more than life itself...but three kids are plenty enough to keep me busy...thank you very much.

Since I'm a take responsibility kinda guy (ahem), logic would dictate it is therefore time for me to step up to the plate and do my part in population control within the Tony C household...given Mrs. Tony C's consent naturally.

So, I had a consult appointment with a urologist just yesterday.

Granted, yours truly done his fair share of doling out my uneasiness this time last year in my visits with Mrs. Tony C's OB/GYN appointments, but this wouldn't be anything like that...right? I mean, this is guy's territory, so how hard could it be...for a guy?

Unlike my attitude of ignorance is bliss at the OB/GYN office, I went a little prepared with researched information yesterday. After all, we are talking about...well...a couple of dear friends. By the way, I highly recommend NOT doing an internet search for urologist, vasectomy or any other related words without the Safe Content filter being engaged on your search engine. Trust me. Some information is best left unknown (not to mention images unseen).

As I'm waiting for the doctor in my exam room, I couldn't help but note how utilitarian the whole setup seemed. After all, guys don't really need fancy paintings, flowers, or graphic charts and displays to make us comfortable about the whole process. I mean it's a snip, snip and bag of frozen peas kinda deal. Heck, it was so pragmatic...there wasn't even a picture on the wall. Just this...

I mean serious...now we're in Manville! So relaxed and at ease, I settled into a good game of Angry Birds while waiting on the white coat. Let me state by nature, I'm just not a very nosey person. But...I couldn't help from overhearing the conversation going on across the hall because both of our doors were open, and it was obvious there was a tad bit of anxiety being conveyed between a man and, I presume, his wife:

Dude Across Hall: I sure hope that doctor don't stick his finger in my butt this time.

Assumed Spouse: You'll do exactly what he needs you to do I'll tell you. You want to get better don't you?!

Dude: Why of course I do! But I just don't like that part. I mean geezz...you need to leave during that.

Obviously the Wife: Well I reckon I've seen your backside plenty. Stop being a baby about it.

Dude: Can I stick my finger in your butt?

Wife: Why Lord no you can't do that!! What...in...the...world does my bottom have to do with your condition?!

Dude: Well it's just uncomfortable is all.

Thank goodness her cell phone rang because I was mere seconds from bust-out-loud laughter that would have been impossible to hide. Of course, noticing this on the counter beside me also helped squelch my amusement at dude's expense rather quickly...

What the heck does that have to do with getting a vasectomy!

Apparently, my research didn't cover that part...stupid internet.

1 comment:

David-FireAndGrace said...

I was there yesterday too. But my Memory card was full... and the urologist was a woman. I wasn't ready for that.