Thursday, June 2, 2011
I'm no Charlie Brown...well, at least in one way.
I've never once claimed to be the best looking guy in the world...
But, I've never felt a pressing need to 'bag it' either. My philosophy has always been life should be lived to the fullest while playing with the cards the Man upstairs deals you. It's somewhat of a mixed metaphor...but I've both heard and used much worse analogies I'm sure.
Being average is okay with me...when it comes to looks that is. Yes, that's a huge assumption on my part, but I'm pretty confident in my statement of tolerable guise based solely on the fact I have a smoking hot wife. Now, don't go trying to bust my bubble by throwing up some freak situations like Seal and Heidi Klum as a 'stranger things have happened' scenario. Despite not being able to publicly declare the fact (at least in her presence), there have been other attractive women that crossed the path of yours truly before Mrs. Tony C. (gasp)...please forget I said that...I beg of you!
You're probably thinking about right now that I'm having some type of self-esteem issue rear its ugly head creating an anxiety that I feel compelled to release by sharing with you. Sorry Dr. Phil...just ain't happenin'! People who truly know me are laughing about now because if there's any psychological disorder at work in my over-sized melon, the diagnoses would come closer to falling on the narcissistic side of the scale as opposed to any avoidance personality issues.
Confidence has never been an issue for me...a fact that has on occasions caused major problems in my life. But while I may not make the cover of People Magazine based solely on my swagger and my mug (and pray I never make it for any other reason), I'm not a complete moron either and capable of learning from all previously ego-driven problems that have occurred....including those that may have been driving related and cost me a lot of money in the end to fix (just knew my superior driving skills could overcome a little ice and an 18 percent grade...just knew it).
Let me just tell you how much my humility has grown...
A few weeks back my doctor decided, with (ahem) a little prodding from my spouse, that a sebaceous cyst needed to come off the back of my noggin. Apparently, all parties involved (excluding me) felt my rather bulbous head had reached maximum capacity for all but industrial-sized pillows and relief was the only plausible option.
Hey, I'm a tough guy. A little cutting and stitching never bothered me, so I show up one early morning to have the little marble-sized bugger removed. Let me state for the record, even the most egotistical jerks would be taken a bit aback by the gasp and whisper of 'oh my...' while having the back of your head examined. Of course, the nurse piping in with 'we have plenty more pillows if you need them' didn't help either.
Keep in mind, a block can be symmetric, and the fact now the bag can fit better too...just in case...
Whoa...that's one really bad haircut.