It's not like we're engaged or anything...

I know my dad loves me...beyond a shadow of a doubt. Validation comes from his actions and not necessarily his words. He has always been there for me, and I know he will be there until his last breath. That's why when I end a phone call or a great visit and say Love ya dad, my feelings aren't at all hurt by the responding Okay. Saying I love you just isn't his style...and that's okay with me.

However, we don't share this trait. I tell my wife I love her daily. I tell me daughters daily also. Sometimes it's just random...when I'm feeling that strong need to share. I also tell my mom and sister whenever we finish a visit or call. For a long time, it was a lot easier for me to express love to females in general...hey...you know what I mean. Emotional love. Not spreading the love Woodstock style.

So why is it so hard for unrelated guys to say...

Okay, sidebar...I'm going to be honest here. Unless I'm feeling a little soppy, the man hug is very awkward for me. Please don't judge. I really try not to be that way. I've convinced myself that Jesus was a hugger when He walked the earth...so why shouldn't I be a hugger too? No, it's not Biblical, so don't try to find it in your Bible... even if it is an NIV Bible. Maybe I based my conclusion on all the male hugging that goes on in the movie Ben Hur...I'm just saying...it was a virtual orgy of arm wrapping. Ben hugging Messala, a Roman Tribune. Ben hugging Arrius, a Roman Consul. I'm not quite sure how things were in the Roman military, but I can assure you the United States Marine Corps is not so touchy-feely of an organization...or at least wasn't in my time. I doubt you'd find all that hugging at an NRA rally either...Chuck Heston.

Just why is it so hard for a man to say I love you to another man? Is it a cultural thing? A societal issue? Psychological? Just what makes it so darn difficult?

At times, it has become easier for me though. The closer my walk with Christ, the less encumbered I seem to be about expressing my love for others...even guys. Maybe that comes from realizing that everything Jesus taught He wrapped into two great commandments as recorded in the Gospel of Mark: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength...Love your neighbor as yourself.

I stray from these words all too often. That's when I find it most difficult to tell a brother I love you man or wrap my arms around him in Christian love and encouragement. When it's hard to love yourself because you are saddled with the guilt of sin or you aren't as close as you should be to Christ...can you adequately love someone else? Sure seems like an uphill battle to me.

For you guys reading Tony C Today out there...I love you man. Hey, that wasn't so darn hard after all. Actually, I love all of you... and hope you are blessed in a special way today.