Monday, May 11, 2009

If the shoe just need to change feet.

I'm going to rehash some old material for no other reason than it needs to be said again. Many of you are probably familiar with Tom Sullivan's Ten Commandments of Cell Phone Etiquette. For those of you going 'Hey, is cell phone suppose to be two words?' attention...this is for you.

I've added personal commentary because, as you might have deducted, one or more became a sore spot with me just this past weekend, and I'm ranting.

I. Thou shalt not dial/text while driving.

Seriously, people die. California and Boston both have seen recent deadly crashes while transit worker were using cell phones. You're not as good of a driver as you think...and not as quick at texting either. At 60 mph, you are clicking off 88 feet every second. Since you're only a foot or so off the bumper of the guy in front of do the math.

II. Thou shalt not wear thy headpiece when thou art not on thy phone.

I speak for all of look neither cool nor important. Nothing is more socially awkward than walking up to someone you know in a store, starting a conversation, only to discover the other person is on the phone with someone else and not responding to you. I swear...I'm walking away.

III. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone.

Hopefully you've figured out by now that the mouthpiece doesn't transmit your voice to the earpiece like a land line phone...but that doesn't require more volume on your part. The microphone works just fine at normal, even whispered, tones. Trust me.

IV. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone.

The need for constant communications is a mental disorder waiting for a scientific name and defining diagnosing parameters. The New England Journal of Medicine article can't be far from release.

V. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings.

Answering on the first ring or the third gets you to the same place. Unless your wife is in the 38th week of pregnancy or you're a fireman, leave the cell phone in your pocket or in the holder.

VI. Thou shalt not make the cell phone more important than the company thou art keeping.

Combining this one with the last you really need to be on the phone at the table? Try spending time with your loved ones. They really have important things to say. Also, my time is just as important as yours, so stay off the thing while checking out at Wal-Mart or ordering in the drive-thru at Wendy's...actually, my Frosty is more important than your need to know about Cousin Jamie's new boyfriend.

VII. Thou shalt not leave the cell phone ringing just to show off the "cool" ringtones or refrain from answering for that same reason.

I mean...come on people. Ice Ice Baby died years ago...thankfully...and the theme song to Dukes of Hazard screams things about you that are best left unsaid.

VIII. Thou shalt turn off thy cell phone at funerals, weddings, yoga class, and anywhere it would be unacceptable to bring a screaming child.

Does church even have to be in this list for you to understand it should be? If God isn't important enough for a few uninterrupted hours of one-on-one, you've got way bigger problems than any news that could be delivered via cell call...way bigger.

IX. Thou shalt not have a message intro lasting more than 15 seconds.

Your message may be gut-splitting funny...but only the first time. Anything after that becomes just annoying.

X. Thou shalt never answer your phone while thou art in the bathroom.

TMI is cliche for a reason...think about it.


Laretha said...

Thank you!

anywhere it would be unacceptable to bring a screaming child - Love it, true, true, true!!!

i really enjoy my blackberry - i have 2 (one for work, one personal - which is annoying) but i do enjoy them.

I also find they are annoying. I hate being in a conversation and them taking a call...UNLESS it is the school calling I NEVER take a call when I am talking to someone else. NEVER.

I hate call waiting for the SAME reason. Honestly, I hang up on people who switch over. I think it's rude! I don't even have it on my phone. My phone goes straight to voice mail when I'm on it.

I travel for work - you see it all the time on the plane, in the airport - people talking really loud because they think they are that important. They look like a jack a$$.

That's my opinion, not that I have one or anything!


Bud said...

Love It!

eaglegirl said...

I so agree with you, I am especially annoyed by people who walk around with those blue tooths and such around their ears.
Like they are so very important. I remember once in a grocery store I thought a woman nearby was talking to herself. She had the kind of set up with a small earpiece you could not see.
Now at least those who are inclined to talk to themselves in public no longer appear insane, just on their cell!

Helen said...

I am guilty of talking too loudly. Not because I don't believe in the cell phone's microphone. My mom is hard of hearing. I know that talking to mom on the cell phone makes me pathetic, not important. Oh well...

David said...

Wow! To those with blinking blue ears, this was for you, but you were too freakin' busy to listen. So here are a few things we are going to do to help you.

-1 If you are on the phone in the stall, I am going to knock on the door of the stall to check on you. you know, like the movie; "The Witness."

-2 If you are on the phone at a restaurant-- especially if it is an expensive one, I am going to to call the restaurant from the hallway near the kitchen and ask them to bring the restaurant phone to you table so I can tell you to get off the phone anonymously.

-3 If you are using the phone while in line at Wal*Mart I am going to tap you on the shoulder to ask you if I could use your phone quickly to call my wife for permission to buy a lawn tractor that is on sale out front.

-4 If you dare leave your phone on in church, I am sitting in the balcony going through the member directory calling every cell phone in it. That BLOCKED ID, that was me!

-5 If you haven't turned your phone off after that, I am texting you with this verse. "And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments. . . Luke 16:23 GOD :-)" - and if it's a funeral, "You're Next. N/K God :o("

-6 If I see you driving with your phone on your shoulder, I am going to blow the horn and wave like I know you. Then I am going to pull in front of you so that you can see my "Gun Owner/Voter" bumper sticker.

-7 Your "Frosty the Snowman" wait for connection music, do you even know that's on there?

-8 "Butt dialing" refers to you, not accidentally dialing the phone while it's in your back pocket.

-9 Don't plan on getting any calls at my house or having a text-social, it's a dead zone. I made it that way using a cell phone blocking device I got off the internet.,-damnit/personal-cellphone-signal-blocker-delivers-electronic-tfsu-293194.php

-10 My voice mail to you, it's a busy signal recording.

Luke said...



Rosie said...

A few weeks ago I attended a class on using the Tennessee Electronic Library. The instructor went around the class and asked each individual person if they had a cell phone and if so, was it on or off. I was the only person who DID NOT have a cell phone (with them ;) I was immediatly made teacher's pet. I felt like I was back in Mrs. Witt's English class :)

Thanks for your comments at Reading Rosie. Novelist? I wish!!!!! Maybe one day.

Dale Sadler said...

Great post. The me generations just don't get how their behavior affects others. They think they have a right to something and don't consider anything else.