Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day Mrs. Tony C...sorry you married an idiot.

That's my Valentine today, and yes, I am a lucky man...

My wife and I share something that, to me, is as precious and vital as any other attribute a relationship can possess. Trust. Of course, trust is a cornerstone of any solid relationship, but I'm speaking of a trust that goes beyond the cliche associations with the word. I'm talking about a trust that says no matter what stupid things you say or foolish things you do...I'm in this with you for the duration.

I just wish I wasn't the one always leaning on that trust...

For those who know us, to say Mrs. Tony C is patient is as an obvious overstatement as saying Albert Einstein was smart. While she established her footing in life very early (her mom would say at age 5), I'm still practically flying through by the seat of my pants looking for a decent landing spot. Sure, I've settled in a few areas of life. I love Jesus, Mrs. Tony C and the three other females that occupy our home with all my heart, and I completely understand each has to hold just that order of priority in my life for everything to come together the way God planned it.

But, everything else is still a work in progress and open to debate in my mind.

I don't think (or hope) I'm irresponsible, but I'm definitely...shall we say...spontaneous. Take Saturday night for example. All five of us were home, the teenager and the Crazy Tomato doing their own thing, when I came to the conclusion we needed to do something together as a family. Never mind it was approaching 6 pm and the time of day everything starts winding day at our house as a normal ritual.

Mrs. Tony C: What do you have in mind?    

Tony C: Let's go somewhere.

Mrs. Tony C: (skeptically) Okay...where?

Tony C: I don't about...Bass Pro Shop!

Now I know what my non-local readers are thinking. Tony C, Tennessee, Bass Pro Shop. Must be a regular event for my household. But, you'd be wrong. I've never been to the gigantic Bass Pro store just off the Sevierville exit that draws visitors on Interstate 40 like mosquitoes to a light source. As a matter of fact, I've never been to one period.

Was Mrs. Tony C taken aback by my suggestion? Despite the fact the store is over an hour away, the newborn was in 'feeding frenzy' mode, the Crazy Tomato had been battling diarrhea on Friday and the teenager, well, just carries an attitude about anything and everything in she wasn't. She was quite supportive of my idea and managed to hide her reluctance at the insane suggestion quite well.

So, we load up and head for Bass Pro Shop. My only true motivation was an alleged selection of Croc shoes to be found there. For some reason, I have an obsession with the rubberized, garden footwear made famous by television chef Mario Batali, and my favorite pair are wearing thin on tread.  Mrs. Tony C knew this, but she never let on and rode my wave of spontaneousness without a word.

I must admit I was highly dissapointed. Since I've neither hunted nor fished in a couple of decades, a superstore dedicated to everything hunting and fishing was for me, being a fish out of water. Wait. That's not right.  Maybe that should be a bird in water. Wait. Ducks are birds....okay, forget an animal analogy/cliche. How about a sumo wrestler in a Victoria's Secret...just for Valentine's Day.

So, the Croc selection was bogus, and I struck out on that front. Mrs. Tony C didn't even come into th store because the newborn was hungry and demanding her...ahem...attention, then I round a corner looking for the other two who have scurried off to see this sight on display:

The last thing a dad wants to see is a hormonal teenager and a toddler nicknamed The Crazy Tomato brandishing firearms...even if they are fake. Chances are one of the two was picturing my face on the moving target board, and the other one surely will too in about ten years. Plus, I don't really mean to be judgemental, but Bass Pro Shop might want to implement a dress code too. Spandex just isn't made for anyone and everyone to wear (including myself), and I saw far too many examples of that while walking around. Refer back to the sumo wrestler in Victoria's Secret for a mental image.

The trip wasn't a total wash though. We did eat at one of my favorite restaurants as a consolation for  coming home without my new Crocs. But then again, there is a Cracker Barrel just 20 minutes from our house.

Happy Valentines's Day Mrs. Tony C, my love...and thanks for loving me just the way that I am...anyway.


Michelle said...

You are an understatement. ;)

And Bass Pro Shop? I almost laughed out loud! Crocs, however, would explain it.

And Spandex? People who wear spandex...the spandex-wearin'-down-south-WalMart kind of people you are referring to...can seriously not afford to shop at Bass Pro must of mixed them up with the people at Cracker Barrel.

Mrs. Tony C said...

You may be an idiot...but you are my idiot! Love you hon!

David-FireAndGrace said...

Sounds like a fun trip!

Anonymous said...

Classic Tony C Today! Love it!!