Don't you just hate noisy, meddling people? Most of my friends should know I'm a very private person. Sure, I may plaster my opinions on this small, insignificant blog for the world wide web to see…if they can locate it. Yes, I'm a social media junky posting regularly about what I'm thinking, doing or eating on Facebook and Twitter. Okay, I've spent nearly every fall Friday night for sixteen years blabbing on and on across the airwaves while broadcasting high school sports many times straying far from the matters of the game. Still, I value my privacy and really don't appreciate people prying around trying to create a crack in the defensive fence just to take a peek inside Tony C world.
Just this past weekend, I started out early Saturday morning to knock out the weekly shopping trip for food and staples. Wouldn't you know it, I ran into an old friend at Walmart who just fired question after question at me like one of those tennis ball practice machines. I'd volley a question back, then lob, and occasionally smash one. Sorry. Poor choice of analogies on my part. I don't play tennis and my terminology is debilitatingly limited. Anyway, the exchange went on forever and wasted a good 15 minutes of my shopping time. And what was with that hug and wish for blessing at the end?! Please…if you really cared about me that much, surely you could have found me in the past 20 years or so since I saw you last.
Naturally, a few isles over brought another discount warehouse homecoming. Don't these people have better things to do? This particular person I almost always see when I'm at Walmart, so the awkward approach and initial shock of it all wasn't there, and the face time was limited too, since it was only an updating from the last inquisition. Apparently, she's been gawking at my Facebook pictures because she went on and on about my cute toddler. Hey! I live with her…I know she's cute!
The dairy section was a regular reunion rodeo with a married couple and another old friend already engaged in reminiscing and waving me over to join upon sighting. The couple has been married since right after high school and still flaunt their 'never-ending love' like marital superheroes are something. Hate that. I was just a late-bloomer so please give me a break. Besides, Pete here is recently divorced, from what I hear, and doesn't need to be wallowed in your blissfulness and moral fortitude.
How are you? How have you been? Aren't you married to Mrs. Tony C? Isn't she expecting again? Another girl? Does that powered fiber stuff you have there really work? Blah, blah, blah…my stinking head might explode!
Don't you people have Facebook?! It's all right there! Well…everything but the fiber thing. Whatever you want to know about me is conveniently packaged like a press release or dossier for public consuming! I just need some sour cream for Pete's sake...
No, I didn't mean you Pete…are you still working at Eastman? I hate to hear that bud, I'll keep you in prayer until you find a new job. Dude, I heard about your divorce. I know it's tough, but life goes on and might even be better off. Let's stay in touch. Here's my cell phone number. Call me anytime.
I'll be right back there next Saturday. Maybe I'll bump into a new old friend I've not seen in a while. That would be a refreshing change….dear Lord, what am I saying?
And don't even get me started on those talkative people at church that cause me to be the last one to leave every Sunday after services...
5 comments:
Yeah, you poor pontificating, prolixer. Maybe I should pray that no one ever recognizes you? Or you should move to New England where no one knows your name, or wants too.
Hey now...don't be getting new old friends! But then again...I'm probably not actually as "old" as the folks you're running into at Wal-Mart so I don't count. :)
I didn't know you had a toddler. You've got to keep us more up to date with these things. Geez.
Apparently, some folks didn't realize I was actually making fun of myself for being one of the most unprivate people around.
Now I've got to apologize to a bunch a people. If you want to know how many people actually read your blog, miss with one like I did here and you'll find out fast. I equate it to accidently muttering a bad word on the radio...
...gotta love it! So, that "powdered fiber" stuff - what fiber you take Tony C?
The best is when you bump into a new old friend that you don't remember but you most certainly left a memory mark on them...eek!
If I accept your invitation to follow your blog, promise me you won't yell at me if we happen to run into each other at a Wal-mart. Know if I am in Wal-mart, I am as miserable as you are...it's the store I love to hate.
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