Monday, July 6, 2009

Are the Talking Heads the Grand Marshals?

"That's a lot a big, loud , funny looking trucks!"

I hope everyone had a pleasant Fourth of July weekend. Mine was most relaxing and filled with good company, food and entertainment.

Part of my entertainment was found in a good old fashion, God Bless America parade...complete with fire trucks...lots of fire trucks from every surrounding fire station within a 50 mile radius. I'm not sure what happens if there's actually a fire during the parade, since all the truck are busy being on public display, but I'd bet the fact the fire trucks are spaced throughout the route has some tactical significance...

I've thought about how to approach this post while maintaining the reverence I sincerely associate with our nation's Independence Day. Dialogue would do the most justice...

Mrs. Tony C: You ready to take the kids to the parade?
Tony C: Sure don't want to miss the fire trucks and elected officials on display.
Mrs. Tony C: That attitude needs to stay right here. If you don't want to go for yourself, do it for your kids. Leaves room.
Teenager: Don't do it for me. It's 9 am! I want to sleep more!
Tony C: Oh no young lady. I go. Get ready.
Teenager: (indistinguishable mumbles)

At the parade, after Tony C. politely lets the girls out close to the parade route.

Tony C on cell phone: Where are you?
Mrs. Tony C: Where are you?
Tony C: Right where I let you guys out. I made a parking place.
Mrs. Tony C: Turn right at the main street and we are about 100 yards down on the other side.
Tony C (looking at a number of spots directly in front of him on his side of the street): Okay.

As the parade starts, Tony C post up in his favorite folding chair.

Tony C (thinking to himself): Look coming here...leading the way...dozens a police cars...demonstrating on our Independence Day just how fast we've turned into a police state...
Mrs. Tony C (glancing over and making eye contact): Don't even start!
Tony C: What! I didn't say anything!
Mrs. Tony C: I know that look...and I can see the wheels turning in that over-sized melon of yours. Just sit there and enjoy the parade.
Tony C: Just waiting for the fire trucks babe...
Mrs. Tony C: Tony!
Tony C: Okay, okay...I'll stop. Good grief.
Mrs. Tony C: Remember the kids.
Tony C to himself: Like the kids haven't seen a police car...whoop. Looking over notices the teenager is completely oblivious to the parade starting because she's texting rapid fire on her phone, and the toddler is consumed by opening a pack of gummy treats. Sees the day's first fire truck directly behind the police cars.

Fifteen minutes and four more fire trucks into the parade.

Tony C (noticing a row of old...excuse me...antique cars coming): Here come the politicians on parade (with eye roll).
Mrs. Tony C: I think it's nice they take the time to...
Tony C: Advertise. What does our county Assessor of Property have to do with our national independence?
Mrs. Tony C: It's a representation of our right to vote.
Tony C: Wow. You yank that right out of your...
Mrs. Tony C: Tony!
Tony C: Okay, okay (notices a few more fire trucks coming).

One hour and eight more fire trucks into the parade.

Tony C notices a group of older men in uniform behind a sign saying Korean War Veterans. Standing up, he claps in appreciation for their service. The Korean vets are followed by the Vietnam vets, who are followed by Desert Storm and recently returning Middle East war veterans. He remains standing as each group passes and thinks about the absence of WW I and WW II veterans .

Tony C thinking to himself: God, thank you for these veterans and for the many who didn't return or who have already gone home. Thank you for my country and may we never forget we can only be great if You are with us.
Mrs. Tony C reaches over and quietly takes him by the hand.

Another hour and eleven additional fire trucks later.

Tony C: Well, that should be about it.
Teenager: You mean no candy? Not a single person threw out candy!
Tony C: What does candy have to do with celebrating our Independence Day?
Teenager: They throw it out at the Christmas parade.
Mrs. Tony C: do you answer that one big boy?
Tony C: Just wake your sister up and get ready to go. If you want candy, we'll come see the fire trucks again in December.
Mrs. Tony C: Tony!
Tony C: Okay, okay...
Mrs. Tony C: Can't you just carry her to the car, so she can finish her nap? She's only been asleep about an hour.

The last fire truck rolls by and blast the horns...startling and waking the toddler up.

Mrs. Tony C (picking up crying toddler): Bless your heart. It's okay baby.
Tony C: I'm sure glad we can see the fireworks from our back deck tonight.
Mrs. Tony C: What?! You mean...aren't we going downtown to watch them...with the kids?


Z said...

I enjoyed reading that so much, Tony! Thanks.
That's YOUR little toddler, that gorgeous redhead? SO CUTE!

Um...a little afraid to ask this, but anybody join you in applause for the vets?

Tony C said...

You know Z...they actually did.

But then again, I'm in a very conservative part of the country...thank God.

David said...

LOL. Thanks Tony. I am going to make Mary Anne read this so that she can see how amazingly blessed she is! Maybe she and Mrs Tony C. can start a wives club or something.

There were a few WWII vets at the Memorial Day parade. I clap and cry. My dad had two purple hearts from the conflict - I support the DAV whenever I can. I miss him.

BTW - Even here in the bluest state, people clapped for the vets.

Thanks for sharing- all I did was eat.

Mesha said...

that was most enjoyable. seriously cracked me up! lol and i'm with teenager, "No candy thrown @ a parade..." it can hardly be classified as a parade without the danger of flying tootsie rolls and lollipops! SERIOUSLY! :) thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Too funny. Your wife must stay in stitches around you!

Love the blog.

Quiana Cradic said...

Hey anybody reading this, I am the "Teenager" that is always in these blogs. (Yes I'm Tony's daughter, unfortunately)And I just want to say that okay maybe candy doesnt have anything to do with our independence, but neither do firetrucks! Just thought I would throw that out there for my dad, because the ONLY reason he agreed to come wasnt because of the kids (who didnt want to be there just as much as him), he just came to see all the big red trucks!

But, thats just my dad for you!

(I love your blogs by the way)

Tony C said...

Get off here and go clean your room!

Teenagers...can't live with 'em...can't kill 'em.

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Sounds like you had a great holiday! Most kids love firetrucks.

We had rain threaten, and a lot of people packed up before the fireworks even started! They just don't love America enough to stand in the rain. :)

Lula! said...

I love this...because it's exactly me and Scott. With the roles reversed. He's the Mrs. Tony C version, I'm you.

I've never been to the K'port parade...cause I didn't elect any of those officials. We just hit the Tobacco Festival parade here each October--and look forward to seeing the ginormous Food City shopping cart.

Good times.

did you go see the fireworks downtown?

Tevet said...

Recently my family attended a parade that had more politicians than fire trucks. Of course, when the Muscatine County Democrats rode by, I walked away from the curb and remained with my back towards the parade until they passed.
Oh, how I could have really demonstrated my dislike for that party if my wife and kids would not have been with.(Sigh)