Tony C Today

Have I told you lately that I love you...and that I'm an idiot?

2012-01-30T14:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the birthday of the most important person in my life, and somehow I managed to pop the celebratory balloons...

<---------That's the Crazy Tomato posing with the cake she and I made her mom. CT insisted it be a princess cake, and I completely understand why. Her mom is a princess. But instead of getting the royal treatment from yours truly yesterday, I decided to let a lot of unnecessary baggage be the wet blanket of the weekend.

You have no idea how sorry I am for that fact too.

January 29th is the pinnacle day for Mrs. Tony C's year. Before the little ones came along, we started the New Year off not with Happy New Year! but rather with Happy Birthday Month!, so her birthday was a big deal...no...a huge deal.

While some of the luster and anticipation has somewhat diminished with the rug rats now around, the day is still very special to me and always will be. Despite the rigors of the daily grind we all go through day in and day out, it is this one special day I get to set aside and focus exclusively on just her. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way yesterday.

Sure. We attended the funeral of a family friend last night, but it wasn't necessarily a sad event. Brother Rudolph had lived a great life and leaves behind a tremendous testimony and tons of great memories. No...that just wasn't the cause of the turmoil.

Without going into the humiliating details that are, quite frankly, none of anyone else's business, I take full responsibility for funkifing the festivities. A few deep breaths and a slow count to ten would have been far better serving for me yesterday than the path I chose, but we all know the adage too well concerning hindsight.

Thankfully, I have Valentine's Day in February and our wedding anniversary in March to make amends. No...not quite the same, so I'll have to double my efforts this 2012 go around and make both memorable!

I complete adore my wife, and I am hopelessly in love with everything about her!

Did you necessarily need to hear that? Probably not near as much as I needed to declare it publicly, so thanks for helping me out. I've always known you are the best readers a blogger could have, and now I seriously owe you one.

Happy Day After Birthday my love! Hope you have many more with me...and continue to be the most forgiving soul I've ever put to the test.

See...I told you she was a princess (in pink)...

I'm truly one lucky dude.

But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man...and don't call me Lola!

2012-01-26T11:08:00.001-05:00

My masculinity has been called into question of late, and I'm mad as heck about it too!

There. That sounded pretty forceful. I've been called a lot of different things in my life, but accused of being dainty or effeminate (read sissy) are tags I've never had to wear...for good reason.

While there have been a few descriptive adjectives thrown my direction in the past that, admittedly, made me a bit uncomfortable, I won't rehash said accusatory attributes to avoid giving credence. However, I also won't deny many...okay, maybe most...were easily justifiable.

But I'm drawing a line in the sand on being branded unmanly!

Metrosexual I'll accept...renaissance man I prefer. I honestly have Mrs. Tony C to thank for it coming to this showdown too. She's always going on about what a great cook I am, and how I do all the clothes ironing and how easily I get flowers to grow, and yada...yada...yada. What's she doing to me! She's destroying my very manhood!

I've been a football player, a jock, a competitive power lifter, a hunter and outdoorsman... a United States Marine for the love of God! I can fix the brakes on my car, repair major appliances around the house, fix holes in sheet rock and even fix a busted toilet. That's plumbing! You hear that? Plumbing! Nothing is more masculine than plumbing! That's right...I said that!

Okay. Maybe I am one of very few men to be found using Pinterest. What's the big deal? I've gotten some great ideas for the garage, projects lined up for the yard come Spring and... okay, a few pretty awesome recipes. Doesn't mean I wear lacy panties! I'm just a refined consumer of available internet information using the most efficient means available to me. I've got an ESPN app on my phone too!

Big deal I do ZUMBA. I told you last year I made a commitment to Mrs. Tony C to improve my overall health. After eliminating sodas and a few other small dietary changes, I shed 30 lbs by Christmas. Granted, the y-axis on my line chart (where y represents weight and x represents time) probably made an upward tick in December. Actually...it assuredly spiked upward which resulted in a need to ~~kick it up a notch~~ put things into a higher gear! Since Mrs. Tony C was instructing her own ZUMBA class three times a week, I just wanted to be a supportive husband. It was the best of both worlds! I get in shape and brownie points for being supportive. Win-win!

What's ZUMBA you ask? Well, it's part aerobics, part dance and a lot of moving. ZUMBA is really hard to describe, so here's a video that shows you...

Okay. Maybe that was a mistake. But I don't do all the moves! Well...I can't do all the moves. Mrs. Tony C can bend like a willow branch and comes in at a 100+ pounds lighter. I'm no pansy...or fool.

Look. There's no way I can be accused of being effeminate and here's proof why. I made an unfortunate bet with a fellow sports radio broadcaster years back when our respective teams played each other and lost. The pay up? Going to the rival school's pep rally dressed in formal prom attire...for a girl!

There won't be any pictures posted, but believe me, it was scary ugly, and I nearly killed myself trying to walk in a 2 inch heel...case closed.

That's not even a word according to my spell check...

2012-01-23T13:14:00.000-05:00

I mean come on! You can't be serious... Unfriend?!

My initial reason for jumping into the social media fray so long ago was what I thought to be out of necessity (explained here). While it's a never ending, uphill battle, I try to be a responsible and conscientious parent. Go where the kids are if you want to know what's going on may seem like common sense advice, but least we never forget that common sense is hardly common place...and even rarer is universally common (aka one size fits all) when it comes to kids.

Then I was hooked.

I began to see the growing potential to market the Stick With Jesus website, expand my blog readership, spread the Good News and reconnect with some old friends who had been MIA for quite some time. Pretty soon I leaped from MySpace to Facebook...way before my teenage daughter gave it a thought. 'Facebook is for old people!' was her stand on the issue, and as usually, turns out old dad was just a step ahead of her.

I'm seriously fighting the urge to go nanny, nanny, boo-boo, who's old now? But I'll refrain for such an immature display of celebratory arrogance...at least for now.

Today the whole world and then some are part of the social media craze called Facebook. My darling spouse came kicking and screaming to the 'dark side' back in late 2009, and now she spends more time on her iPhones app picture stalking...I mean...checking up on her own old friends than she does watching Criminal Minds reruns, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice combined. Actually, she usually peruses FB while watching those shows. What was I thinking?

But let me not poke fun of my beloved in fear of some type of stinging retribution. While there are numerous counter-punches in her arsenal when it comes to me specifically, I'm pretty sure she would go straight to her most used (and time-tested) counter concerning the all important Friends list. Let's face it...Facebook without friends is like the proverbial Buddhist monk trying to clap with one hand.

What's the point?

Her jab is of my own making too which makes the sting even worse. Let me explain. I just refuse to turn down any friend request. Not one goes unconfirmed. She is, on the other hand, more selective about who 'makes the cut' than sports writers are about their precious MLB Hall of Fame inductees.
There just an element of WWJD at play in the whole process for me. Clicking the Delete Request button is so...anti-Jesus.

Now this position comes with a few undesirable consequences I will admit. There's the Rude and Obnoxious crew that post status updates that don't necessarily reflect my own...ahem...value system, the Past Girlfriend section that really do me no favors strolling down memory lane on my Wall, the Old College Buddies who need to apply the whole 'stays in Vegas' adage to their story telling (regardless of Statute of Limitation expiration), and least we not forget...wait...okay the Past Girlfriend thing is a little ego boosting...but strictly in a platonic way!

Still, having over 1600 friends does makes my News Feed look like rolling credits at the end of a show.

Do I personally know/have known these people? Probably not. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't care to meet them...well...at least most of them anyway. What I do have a serious problem with is people who use social media sites to subjugate the rest of us to their personal dramas. Got a sick friend or family member? I'd be glad to lift them up in prayer. Recent job promotion? Kudos to you, we celebrate together. Kid stuck a Lego block up their nose? Those do make some of the funniest pictures. Caught your boyfriend cheating with neighbor's dog? Seriously...I just don't need that information or the resulting thread of Comments in my day or thoughts. Maybe it's just me...

Just this very weekend I was somewhat forced to Unfriend someone from my list due to the teenager's drama. It was only the second time in almost four years I've done that, and the first time was truly a matter of self-preservation (and even then I felt bad). Who would ever guess high school relationships are almost always temporary...

So where does it all end? Believe me. Facebook is a finite plaything in a fickle world. The Restart button surely can't be too far away. Wish I'd hurry and get the new thing idea first...

"Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed." Mark Twain

2012-01-09T14:24:00.002-05:00

For some reason, I find cussing quite perplexing... but that's to myself of course.

Let me qualify that opening statement by drawing some clear distinctions about what cussing actually is or isn't in my opinion.

In the inarticulate world of expletives, there are undefined categories that none the less draw obvious conclusions. While most people haphazardly lump cursing, cussing, profanity and vulgarity under an all-inclusive verbal umbrella, I challenge the notion as a mere bastardizing of the English language.

Cussing is not a form of cursing. The root meaning of cuss is generally defined as saying bad words. Therefore, cursing would actually be a form of cussing, as is also using profanity, vulagarity or any other inappropriate verbiage deemed by society.

To curse is to actually wish misfortune upon another person or persons. That's bad no matter how you paint it up. Besides...who are you to determine the eternal fate of any soul just because they might have cut you off in traffic one day. Seems a bit arrogant on your part to flaunt such an important task...again, in my opinion.

Using profanity is worse than cursing! Being profane is actually showing contempt for God Almighty by very definition. Whoa! Now we're on a slippery slope! While the subject matter of the eternal fate of one's soul is still fresh, you might want to give serious thought to the next Holy Cow, Holy #%$@ or Holy (fill in blank) that comes flying out of your mouth. By the way, Jesus doesn't have a middle initial.

Let me stop right here just a second. If you know me or read Tony C Today at all, then my background as a former Marine is no secret. While it's true that colorful language and service to one's country are somehow linked in the minds of the masses...well, okay...that's actually a pretty fair assessment. Not sure where I was taking that.

It's not as if the use of certain words, phrases or references to genealogy are taught as a course in basic training. As a matter of fact, I specifically remember a class given to new Marine officers at Quantico during The Basic School that discouraged the use of cursing and profanity when addressing other Marines and blatantly denouncing such use in front of the opposite sex. Chivalry still lives...at least in fairy tales and the United States Marine Corps.

Cursing the Army or the Navy, however, was expected and encouraged. By the way, Marines consider the Air Force a civilian occupation.

I recall, unfortunately, an incident at my parents home while visiting on leave one Christmas while active duty. Raised as a proper Southern gentleman, the use of any word deemed inappropriate in front of one's mother is considered both tacky and crude. Unrefined by the very nature of the offense. Even in the days when my language wasn't as sophisticated (read clean) as maybe it should have been, I never uttered words considered potty in front of either of my parents (take note young people...it's a respect thing). But on this single occasion, duty back in Hawaii called...literally.

Since this story happens prior to the plethora of cheap mass communition means of today, Ma Bell was my only choice short of a telegram to stay in touch with my command. As the Executive Officer, or XO, of a company of Marines at the time, discipline was my very business...and business was always open and a booming. During one of my call backs, my prized customers (one Private A. Jones) was up to his usual shenanigans. After listening to his platoon commander fill me in on the details, I requested Private Jones be put on the other end of the line.

For the next 90 seconds, it was as if General George Patton himself possessed my every word. A dressing down of near-epic proportions ensued.

After hanging up the phone (which was attached to the wall thus limiting my mobility) and collecting myself, I walked back into the living room to find my terrified mother gasping in sheer disbelief. An unforgettable sight. My father, known for his on use of unseemly verboseness, was just staring at the floor fully aware of the humiliation I was about to experience from his own prior offenses. To my mother, you just didn't say words like:

@#%$ - under any circumstance,

#$%!@ - just blasphemous and completely inexcusable,

&%$$@)@!?#^ - required a visit from Preacher Taylor and some form of absolution, and

*?#%&@! @#*+!@ - well, you just didn't go there.

But, I had used them all during that rather short conversation in various forms from verb to compound adjective.

I felt great shame...and rightly so.

Today, I just don't use profanity. I also don't curse or dabble in vulgarities either, although I do understand the differences. Vulgarity is most often directly associated with bodily parts, functions and/or consequences thereof, and such language is taboo in the Tony C household because nothing is more embarrassing than your 4-year old squealing "Ewww, somebody farted!" while you're waiting to check out in line at the grocery store. Believe me...I've been called out.

For the record, Mrs. Tony C also doesn't actually allow any words or references dealing with flatulence other than excuse me to be utter in our home. Heck...I even have to spell s-t-u-p-i-d (not even cussing) if I ever use the word...which seriously diminishes the intended effect by yelling letters at the idiot that just cut you off in traffic!

Not to mention we house a teenager, and believe me, I think the word, among several others I must spell, quite often...

Let's take a cup of kindness people...for auld lang syne!

2012-01-03T11:24:00.000-05:00

If you think I'm at all worried about the impending destruction of the world this year...better think again Jack.

I find a tremendous amount of humor in the time and energy spent discussing and debating the 'great end of the world' as allegedly predicted by the subsequent ending of an extinct culture's calendar.

Has anyone stop to think maybe Mesoamericans couldn't count past 1,383,136? Maybe there is no 1,383,137 in their numbering system? How about the fact that the end of the current Mayan Long Count Calendar is the thirteenth such ending without a major hitch...well...aside from the fact the Mesoamerican culture ended in the 16th century, and their calendar sure didn't predict that.

Yep, not losing much sleep over this one.

Plus, I've resolved to be more positive in 2012, and fixating on global destruction kind of goes in a different direction. Keeping resolution is hard enough without the looming fear of end of times. Think about it...if you resolved to lose weight this year and hold to the belief the world is coming to an end in December...what's the point? I say die fat and happy! Besides, we're all getting new bodies on the other side anyway.

If you've resolved to save more money in 2012 but feel validity in the global demise on the forthcoming winter solstice...duh...you can't take it with you, and who really cares about a plump portfolio when plumes of inter-Earth fire are springing up all around us! I say investing in a fire-proof safe room for your house or at least a swimming pool might be a smarter move than the IPO of the month.

So, you've resolved to learn a new language, get more organized and/or give up that lifelong vice in 2012 but know time is short with less than 353 days to go until...bam...world destruction. Look on the bright side Sunshine. This is a leap year and you have a whole extra day to get it done (or maybe undone if applicable)!

Three days in...I'm still resolution strong and charged like an ion.

Happy New Years to all. Let's have a great year together!

Well ginger my bread Charlie Brown...Merry Christmas!

2011-12-22T12:57:00.004-05:00

I watched the Crazy Tomato's Christmas program at church last night, and not a single kid sang the songs looking straight up at the ceiling...

Does that fact take anything away from my annual yuletide enjoyment of that sappy Brown kid and his array of smart-alacky friends? Absolutely not.

Charlie Brown Christmas is, and always will be, a holiday tradition for me. Along with watching the antics of the Griswold family (including Cousin Eddie) each year, Chuck and the gang have a knack for putting me straight into the fa-la-la spirit. What's not to love?

While it's true some media pundits have chosen to call out the Schulz classic for the 'dark, depressing undertones', my spin is the show hits all the true highs and lows of what we have, in fact, made Christmas.

Trying to ween the four-year old off the sterile and emotionally dead line up on Nickelodeon over to watching a cartoon that first aired when yours truly was a rambunctious, tree-destroying toddler was no easy task either. The hand-drawn frames of 1965 hardly pale in comparison to the computer-generated wash of shows today that produce new cartoons like daytime soap episodes.

But... I'm a bit stubborn (that didn't require confirmation by amen, but the way). So... I tried to keep her interested in the show hoping the deeper moral and spiritual ambiances would take hold.

Crazy Tomato: Why is that big headed kid...

Tony C: That's Charlie Brown.

Crazy Tomato: ...why is Charlie Brown mad at his dog for decorating his dog house?

Tony C: Christmas isn't about decorating the house or getting presents sweetheart. It's about Jesus being born, and that's a very big deal.

Crazy Tomato: Oh. Why does that dog sound like a cat when he talks? How do they understand him?

Tony C: The dog's name is Snoopy and this is a cartoon. Dogs don't really talk in real life, but in cartoons everyone can understand them.

Crazy Tomato: Oh. This cartoon is really old daddy.

Tony C: Just watch it with me. You'll like it I promise.

That's when my Christmas moment happened for 2011. As her interest (and tolerance) was seriously waning, the scene cuts to Schroeder kicking out that classic jazzy tune Linus and Lucy...and the gang starts to dance...

The Crazy Tomato lit up with a smile, then she started dancing to the music and pointing out the funny ways some were getting their groove on...my words....not hers.

Yes! Acceptance can be a golden gift for an old, outdated and out of touch parent. While it's not necessary to properly carry out the responsibilities...it can sure be a sweet treat at times.

As the moment I had patiently waited for approached, she was captivated.

Tony C: Watch this part and listen sweety. Very important stuff...

Crazy Tomato: Okay daddy.

Crazy Tomato: It's about baby Jesus daddy. He's talking about baby Jesus.

Tony C: That's right sweetheart. Baby Jesus...

Crazy Tomato: Can we watch it again?

I'd be safe in saying you will never, and I mean ever, hear a monologue coming from Dora, Phineas, Wubbzy, Spongebob or even the Wiggles like the beautiful prose recited by Linus from the second chapter of the Gospel of Luke.

And that's why Charlie Brown Christmas will continue to be a tradition in the Tony C home for many years to come...but my little Crazy Tomato is going to have to wait a few years before she can watch Christmas Vacation with dad. I'm sure Clark will still be just as funny then too.

May God bless your Christmas celebration in a mighty way this year.

I draw the line at donning any gay apparel...

2011-12-19T15:58:00.001-05:00

We've added a new holiday tradition to the Tony C household, and I must admit I've gotten into it...just a little bit.

Some of you may be familiar with Elf on the Shelf. Until this year, I was not. Here's how the racket works according to the company's propaganda:

Every day from Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve, each family's scout elf watches over the children and then at night, once everyone goes to bed, the elf flies back to the North Pole to report back to Santa about what activities, good and bad, took place throughout the day. Before the family wakes up each morning, the scout elf flies back from the North Pole and hides. By hiding in a new spot each morning around the house, the scout elf and the family play an on-going game of hide and seek. The Elf on the Shelf explains that elves get their magic by being named. In the back of each book, families have an opportunity to write their elf's name and the date that they adopted it. Once the elf is named, the scout elf receives its special Christmas magic which allows it to fly to and from the North Pole. However, the magic might go if touched, so the rule for The Elf on the Shelf states: "There's only one rule that you have to follow so I will come back and be here tomorrow: Please do not touch me. My magic might go, and Santa won't hear all I've seen or I know." Although families aren't supposed to touch their scout elf, they can talk to it and tell it all their Christmas wishes so it can report back to Santa accurately.

So Mrs. Tony C plopped down the cash for the book and elf, read the story to the 4-year old, and then gracefully bowed out of the picture leaving yours truly to do 'the fun stuff.' First order of business, giving the mischievous little snitch a name...

Now, I've previously documented my apparent ineptness at naming inanimate objects (remember Joe Pony?), so when pressed by my beloved Crazy Tomato to help her think of a name, the best I could beget was...Blue.

Crazy Tomato: Blue?

Tony C: Blue the Elf. He has blue eyes...

Mrs. Tony C: (mocking eye roll) Geeezzz

Crazy T: I like it daddy! His name is Blue the Elf!

Mrs. Tony C: Blue?! Seriously? Blue the Elf?

Crazy T: I want it to be Blue mommy. Put it in the book!

There's a tremendous amount of responsibility that accompanies the power of influence I wield at my home. The burden at times is absolutely crushing...ahem...but I love my girls and take it very seriously.

So then began the routine of placing Blue in a new spot and situation each night after my own little fruit-nicknamed elf went to sleep. Why did this ultimately fall to you Tony C? That is a wonderful question my astute readers.

Another household custom not tied to the seasons in general is bedtime at the Tony C estate. The ritual goes like this...the Crazy Tomato will not go to sleep in her bed without the accompaniment of one Mrs. Tony C...every single, stinking night! Also falling asleep in these accommodating circumstances would be one Mrs. Tony C...every single, stinking night!

I might be harnessing a few ill feelings about this situation, and in the spirit of the season, I sincerely apologize for my pithiness.

I said pith-i-ness! Come on guys! You know I don't use such language! This is a family show!

Back to the elf. So each night, I look for creative places and circumstances to place Blue and bring joy and a chuckle to my Crazy Tomato the next morning. I already know what you're thinking...you can come up with creative circumstances to build a continuing story around a toy doll, but you can't come up with a better name than Blue the Elf?

Google my friends. I ain't blazing a new trail here you know.

Can't wait to paint her nose red tonight and pin it on the fairy. I might even try to get away with a two-for-one...I'm still feeling a little bitter.

The next best thing to being Adam...

2011-12-15T18:05:00.001-05:00

First off, I'm not trying to score pre-holiday brownie points here...

The fact simply is- I genuinely love my in-laws. From the very get-go, there were a number of potential obstacles in the way of a smooth transition going into my relationship with Mrs. Tony C. The biggest being the fact that I had practically gone to school with her parents.

Let me state for the record, they are both OLDER than me by a few years.

So for those of you not keeping up, I am indeed ~~significantly~~ somewhat older than my lovely wife. A fact that has never been a new revelation nor point of contention with either of us...ahem...especially me. The age issue never seemed to bother anyone around us though, at least as an issue important enough to vocalized to me.

Anyway, back to my original point and off this self-justification for cradle robbing.

So, I love my in-laws. What's not to love? My mother-in-law is a quite remarkable lady. She beat breast cancer back in the year 2000. Not only did she beat cancer, she early retired from her lifelong career, went back to school, and is now an oncology nurse helping other cancer patience. She takes her job to heart and works with a passion that is recognized by those needing the service. I don't tell her enough how proud I am of her and that she is truly a hero to me.

My father-in-law is somewhat of a kindred soul. We share a lot of the same passions, with a primary passion for God. He is a tremendous role model not just for his children and grandchildren...but also for me. Unbeknownst to him (to this point), I often gauge my own moral stature on a particular issue based on his personal insight to the issue. That's not to say we agree on all matters, but clearly grown men in an informed society can disagree and both stand on solid moral footing. I would be very uncomfortable being on a different moral footing than my father-in-law.

I'm going to use a term that is often overused where I live but beyond all doubt applies to my in-laws...they're just good people. My oldest daughter is not their maternal granddaughter, but you would never know a difference between her and the younger two girls with them. They come to her soccer games and show genuine affection for her and have since she and I joined their family. I can't emphasize enough what that and that alone has meant to me.

My in-laws drop by our home quite frequently, and I'm really glad they do. Now we all know the visits are geared to interact with the grand kids, and I'm perfectly at ease with that fact. I enjoy their company. I enjoy it so much we vacation together in the summers...something I look forward to each and every year. In my heart I know, the more my in-laws are around my three girls, the more the love of God is being demonstrated to them. Plus, I have the luxury of seeing the product of their joint parenting efforts daily...and I must admit I'm quite impressed.

Did I mention my brother-in-law? He's a pretty cool dude too...I just don't want to give him the big head, so keep that between us.

Happy days are finally here again...

2011-12-12T16:34:00.001-05:00

My plans are to share in my good fortunes with all my loyal readers...

Seems like the right thing to do. Naturally, I'll start by paying my tithes to thank the Lord Almighty for I'm sure His divine intervention on my lowly behalf. Now I'm not completely sure what has happened to yours truly is absolutely a gift from above, but I'm not taking chances either.

I'll be sure to take care of my family. Having three weddings and three college tuitions to pay at some future point was beginning to weigh heavy on this old bloak. Lots of sleepless nights.

Well okay... I've had a few nights it's been hard to go to sleep. That may have been Coke Zero related now that I think about it.

I'm so sorry! I'm getting way ahead of myself here! The excitement has just been building around my house and I'm just a mess. Let me explain...

I've been getting these legal notifications that I'm part of several separate class action law suits currently in litigation. Honestly, I've not paid much mind to them until last week. Let's see... there's one with iTunes, Amazon and Ameritrade ongoing...and I just received a settlement check from the Yingling v. Ebay, Inc case. I didn't have to do a thing! They're just sending me money for free!

Pinch me...it can't be so.

After talking distribution over with Mrs. Tony C (whom I must admit seemed quite apathetic), she agreed I could follow our standing family values guide of God, family and education...wait...that doesn't work...God, family and all others. You are the all others!! I just knew in my heart this day would come, and I would be able to give back to my loyal readers as an undying thank you in the form of every one's favorite gratitude...cash.

Well, the eBay settlement check is in people!

Once I get the other three suits settled, just send me a self-addressed stamped enveloped, and I'll send your part right away!

Hope this helps makes your Christmas (or Festivus) just a little bit brighter...

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Girl...

2011-12-02T16:49:00.000-05:00

Been pretty hectic and I apologize for no new stuff lately. Hopefully next week will see a lighter load...

Today is my youngest first birthday. Let's look back a year.

The 'Third day at hospital' look- Mrs. Tony C wears it so much better...and she just delivered a human being!

So, our little bundle of joy arrived last Thursday morning at 8:08 am coming in an ounce shy of six pounds and half and inch short of 20. She's a mini-human...my little tiny dancer. Dad couldn't be prouder if he'd push her through his own...well...let's not get carried away crazy here.

Almost a week later, I still stand in complete awe of a Divine design that produces such a glorious moment called child birth. As I stated in my last post, my role was minuscule. I managed the wet wash cloth, camera and thick skin. Ice chips weren't necessary...but I had it covered none the less. The delivery staff were nothing short of amazing. A well-oiled machine that made this former Marine officer beam with glee at the management of organized chaos that occurs when another number is added to the roll of the human population.

Oh yes...and it's a most beautiful concert.

Maestro, aka, Dr. B was unflappable. While the subject of recent post have involved the OB/GYN experience for yours truly as a bull in a china shop, the calming effect of Dr. B sharing a fly fishing story involving his own son while I chewed scissors through a cord both a part of my new daughter's body as well as her mother's should go down in bedside manner lore. The situation was potential for the medical school instructional film series. Had my mind focused for even a brief moment on the task I was actually performing...to two of the most important people in my life...or my eyes wondered to where the cord went on either end...someone would have been using the cold wash cloth on me.

I'm not sure my HMO would have covered that either.

Look. I'm no stranger to bloody situations, or weak-kneed, or even fainthearted. I pulled a guy's molar once with a pair of pliers and gauze pads (no, he didn't owe me money...he actually wanted it pulled). I've lanced boils and blisters with a flame-sterilized K-bar (now we're talking pus). I've recovered a severed finger to hopefully be reattached! Hey...I'm no girly-man people!

Sorry. I guess Marines and former Marines just get a little defensive if we come across a bit squeamish or weak. It's a natural reaction. Some brainwashing...I mean indoctrination...no, training...last a lifetime. Besides, 'cutting the cord' has a completely different meaning/context in our field manual. But we won't discuss that here because some of you might be a little squeamish...

Thanks Dr. B for helping me save face by not ending up on my face...oh, and kudos for helping bring my little tiny dancer into the world. To use a fishing phrase...she's a keeper.

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm most thankful for...

2011-11-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours! May we never take for granted the many, many blessings that come from a loving Father.

Veterans Day is every day for some...

2011-11-14T12:58:00.001-05:00

First, I want to wish a belated thank you to all those who serve or have served in our armed forces. My timing is a bit off for a reason...

On both Thursday and Friday, I opened up Windows Live Writer to drum out a post in gratitude to veterans and reflection of on my own service. Thursday was the birthday of my beloved Corps and Friday a celebration for all branches of our great Nation's military.

I failed miserably to pulled together all but a short blurb that started a post on the Penn State debacle. Emotions seemed to flood then overwhelm my thought process as my fingers looked for the right keys to type the right words.

Don't get me wrong. There's plenty to say. My heart is filled with appreciation and genuine gratitude not for just our veterans but for their families as well. Military service is both a richly rewarding experience and a unbelievable hardship all at the same time...especially when it comes to the families. Please don't ever forget the wives and children when honoring those who serve.

I took my uniform off in 1991 after 4 reserve years at Vanderbilt University and 5 years of active service in the Fleet Marine Force. Real Marines. I cherish that time in my life and can directly attribute much of what I am today directly to that period. Military training saturates your person down to the very core. While it doesn't ultimately change who you are (only God can do that), there is certainly a separating of the wheat from the chaff if I can borrow from the Gospel of Matthew.

The encumbering emotions I felt last week are hard to explain...unless you're also a vet. I don't mean to come across pompous or even pretentious by saying that. There are levels of coalescence even within the military ranks. Combat troops that have spent months together facing life-or-death situations day after day relate on a level that's just...well...incomprehensible to me. I'd be a stranger lost in their conversations. There's no disrespect meant, and I understand that completely. Facts are just what they are...

Only 7 percent of the U.S. population falls under the umbrella of veterans. All things considered, that's a relatively small number given the conflicts we've faced since World War II. Unfortunately, I know several people who separated under other than honorable conditions. I refuse to acknowledge their time in uniform. Please forgive me. That's at least one issue the federal government and I see eye-to-eye about.

The number of active duty and reserve military is only 1 percent of the 300 million people living in the United States. Just 1 percent defend our very freedoms! There are less than 150,000 US Marines on active duty (the few, the proud) and actually more New York City police officers than Marine Corps officers.

I miss the people I served with a great deal. That's the very first motley crew I had the privilege of leading at the Kaneohe Marine Corps Air Station in Hawaii in the picture. It's hard to explain how you feel love for practically a stranger by all definitions of the word. To this day...I love each of them as a brother. A few I still have contact with today thanks in large part to the social media boom. Some have moved on from this life. God speed my friends. One thing becomes very evident the minute a connection is made after so many years though. The time gap becomes completely irrelevant...

Guess I'm still a little emotional about the whole thing. May we never forget.

I know exactly how Chesty Puller would have handled this...

2011-11-10T12:02:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Marines! God bless all those serving and those who have served in the beloved United States Marine Corps!

I'm just highly aggravated that on the day we celebrate our Corps' 236th birthday, the story overshadowing the celebration is coming from University Park Pennsylvania.

The story itself makes me sick enough.

As students riot to protest the firing of their beloved Joe Pa, someone at Penn State needs to do a little educating and tell the rioters they need to grow up because they are clearly on the wrong side of this one.

For those of you oblivious to the circus surrounding the storied university, a former football coach has been arrested on allegations of sexual molestation of minors. To make a repulsive story even worse, the allegation go back over 9 years and involve multiple cover ups and head turnings from not only the head coach Joe Paterno, but also numerous university administrative staff to include the university president AND local police.

Paterno's part in this is the classic ostrich defense...head straight in the sand. That's a problem Joe. When you were made aware from an eye witness who watched one of your coaches, a then 60 year old man, showering and touching a 10 year old boy...the proverbial ball was in your court to do the right thing.

I've got a problem with the witness for not dragging the sick jerk kicking and screaming out of the shower for the beating of his life in defense of that kid too. There's a larger moral obligation at work here that completely overrides any legal and ethical considerations...which are also numerous.

We live in a warped culture that protects pedophiles to prevent reputable damage to our beloved institution which in this case is a college football program and it's legendary coach. Penn State has fired Paterno, the president and a number of other school officials, but the university, along with local law enforcement, are still culpable for the situation playing out for 9 years. Disgusting.

To further prove my point of contention, people still idolize the late Michael Jackson and buy his stuff. Don't give me any of that he was never proven crap either. Ridiculous.

In my opinion, taking the innocent life of someone is the only crime more heinous than molesting a child. It's a perversion with devastating effects on the victims who are often is too ashamed to come forward to confront perpetrators. As a society, we are often guilty of the same naivety as Paterno and don't want to be bothered with the messy aftermath of the crime.

How arrogantly egotistical we've become...

The Tomato sure doesn't fall far from the tree...

2011-11-03T12:23:00.003-04:00

I can hardly believe my middle child is four years old today...(sigh)

Affectionately dubbed The Crazy Tomato for her strawberry blond hair and infectiously spontaneous personality, my own little personal Jan Brady is by no means in danger of being lost midst her two sisters. While she sports at the very least an initial minimal shyness, she quickly makes up for that once you've been properly sized up and categorized in her mind as either fun, potentially fun or blah.

Don't be offended by that fact because I've spent my fair share of time in each classification.

Just this past weekend I was trying to explain something to her about...well...I don't actual remember, but I'm sure it was one of the trillion life-lessons I'm required to dole out under the expectations that accompany the title DAD. After the brief explanation while we were riding in the car, I get this:

Tony C: (looking back through the rear view mirror) Are you listening to me?

Crazy Tomato: (looking out the car side window): Okay. I just don't find that interesting. You think it's interesting, but I just don't think that's interesting. Maybe...you can talk about something interesting now. Can I listen to my CD?

Tony C: (under breath): Geez. As if I don't get that enough from your mother and the teenager...

Conversation classified= Blah. Moving on to music =fun.

Or this recent exchange:

Crazy Tomato: (walking into living room and rolling eyes) Why do you watch the NewsHour every stinkin' day dad?

Tony C: (Trying to be clever) Why do you watch Phineas and Ferb every day?

Crazy T: I mean duh...because it's funny and fun.

Tony C: Well maybe I think the NewsHour is funny and fun (as I notice scene of rioting in Syria on screen).

Crazy T: What's fun about people running around screaming and throwing fire things and getting beat up? Should I be watching this? Mom don't let me watch stuff like this.

Tony C: (Cleverness obviously failing) You're right...you shouldn't. Go to your room and play.

Crazy T: (running back through hallway) Mom! Dad's letting me watch bad stuff on the NewsHour!

We've still got to have that talk about snitching which I'm sure she's going to love.

In a growing trend that seems to upset...maybe more irritate... her mother (providing all the motivation I need to continue), my fun-time interactions with the Crazy Tomato have broken down below even a sophomoric-level of crude humor which includes jokes about painting boogers blue, a plethora of poop-related phrases, and even a rather catchy little ditty about shining a flashlight on some body's crack (bottom). Yep...I just love that kid!

Of course, such things have a tendency to backfire and usually at the most inopportune moments like the grocery store, when we have company, or (gasp) in church. I'm just thankful that initial shyness pretty much prevents her from wanting to sing in front of people.

It seems like only yesterday when her then-four-year-old sister, unencumbered by said public-related restriction, was invited to take center stage while at church with my mom one Sunday. Unbeknowst to her, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap doesn't hold the same classic status with Methodist as it does mainstream rock fans...at least while in the church. I still hear about that one 12 years later.

Maybe the crack song isn't such a good idea after all...

Happy Birthday Crazy Tomato. I love you more than macaroni and cheese with sprinkles!

Okay, I'll admit it...I just want the candy.

2011-10-31T09:43:00.003-04:00

(Original post from October 29, 2010)

I'm probably going to offend a few people today...

But then again, when has that ever stopped me from writing something? I just want to plead with Christians to lighten up a bit when it comes to Christmas, Easter and...Halloween!

Egad!

Not the eve of evil, the celebration of satanic, the ALL HALLOWS EVE! As God fearing faithful, we can't condone the night dedicated to the living dead! What are you thinking?!

The blogosphere is full of post today addressing the issues of Halloween, so naturally, I'm jumping in with mine. I mean seriously, do you think my 3-year old has any idea the origin hails back loosely to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain? I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know any Celtics...besides, we are all Lakers fans. Purple and gold baby!

Every holiday season, the Celebration Police show up and start spouting off about the secular roots of this, the demonic connections to that, the square root of...anyway. Most do it in the name of Jesus. Funny thing is...I don't ever remember Jesus ranting about any of this nonsense. To me, the Celebration Police come off a lot like the...no Tony C...don't go there...don't say it... a lot like...don't say it Tony C... the Pharisees!

I can't believe you went there!

Believe it brother, that just actually happened. Christians need to accept we live in the secular world. Our job is to put God in all we do. That's how we don't become of the world. I could care less where Christmas started. In my home, we focus on the Christ element of the season. Same with Easter. Halloween is a little more challenging, but I've found a few costume idea's that might appease the Celebration Police just a tad:

Where it all started...

With thanks to David Johndrow at Fire & Grace, nothing screams Christian like the fall of man. (Recommended for adults only)

God's Holy Word

Ring doorbell. Say 'Trick or Treat.' Receive candy. Jump on top of them. Bible bashing on a whole new level. Amen.

Eternal Lake of Fire

One of my personal favorites. A little tricky getting in and out of the car.

Wow...oops!
Sorry. I was emailing that to Mrs. Tony C for a Christmas present idea (how embarrassing).

If you chose not to celebrate Halloween this or any other year...more power to you. That's your call, and I respect that. But if you get a hankering for a Twix bar Monday night...swing through Stone Edge Subdivision. I'll be dressed like an Egyptian handing them out.

Nothing displays your true character quite like sticky-backed colored paper...

2011-10-27T13:12:00.001-04:00

There are a number of things I observe and find amusing while on my daily commute to and from work each workday...

I love to see people jamming and singing in their cars because...well... I too am a rock star on wheels with a range of vocals, air instrument talents and genres that put Burt Bacharach to shame. Okay... maybe that's just Sesame Street's Bert to shame. Concerts daily for two shows only.

Then there's the 'dodge and weave' drivers that I just love bottling up with the strategic cooperation of a slow, left-lane driver. Slow down fool! Bwhahaha! Very entertaining. (I just might have control issues...)

But oh how I love the bumper stickers! I got this picture sitting at a red light watching a middle-aged white guy smoking a cigarette waiting for the light too. Buddhist in East Tennessee?! That would be quite unique. Wonder what the Tibetan Monks would think about him flicking his cigarette butt out on the ground?

Let's take a look at a few of my favorite bumper decors I see with commuting frequency-

Hmmm. What Good Book they are reading?

Mean? Yes. But I chuckle anyway.

No...this isn't my pastor's vehicle. (He has the Rosie one)

Might be a bit of a mixed message. Doesn't make it not true though...

I'd just like to...nope...second thoughts...leaving this one alone.

Fellow graduate from the Academy of Sarcasm.

...

Then there's the one that drives my absolutely crazy (previous rant)-

I've got an idea to fix and correct this pop culture poison...what do you think?

Pretty sure I'll be hearing from the political correctness police or somebody's attorney soon...

To boldly go where no man has gone before...

2011-10-25T14:16:00.005-04:00

I love my daughters more than life itself...but three kids are plenty enough to keep me busy...thank you very much.

Since I'm a take responsibility kinda guy (ahem), logic would dictate it is therefore time for me to step up to the plate and do my part in population control within the Tony C household...given Mrs. Tony C's consent naturally.

So, I had a consult appointment with a urologist just yesterday.

Granted, yours truly done his fair share of doling out my uneasiness this time last year in my visits with Mrs. Tony C's OB/GYN appointments, but this wouldn't be anything like that...right? I mean, this is guy's territory, so how hard could it be...for a guy?

Unlike my attitude of ignorance is bliss at the OB/GYN office, I went a little prepared with researched information yesterday. After all, we are talking about...well...a couple of dear friends. By the way, I highly recommend NOT doing an internet search for urologist, vasectomy or any other related words without the Safe Content filter being engaged on your search engine. Trust me. Some information is best left unknown (not to mention images unseen).

As I'm waiting for the doctor in my exam room, I couldn't help but note how utilitarian the whole setup seemed. After all, guys don't really need fancy paintings, flowers, or graphic charts and displays to make us comfortable about the whole process. I mean it's a snip, snip and bag of frozen peas kinda deal. Heck, it was so pragmatic...there wasn't even a picture on the wall. Just this...

I mean serious...now we're in Manville! So relaxed and at ease, I settled into a good game of Angry Birds while waiting on the white coat. Let me state by nature, I'm just not a very nosey person. But...I couldn't help from overhearing the conversation going on across the hall because both of our doors were open, and it was obvious there was a tad bit of anxiety being conveyed between a man and, I presume, his wife:

Dude Across Hall: I sure hope that doctor don't stick his finger in my butt this time.

Assumed Spouse: You'll do exactly what he needs you to do I'll tell you. You want to get better don't you?!

Dude: Why of course I do! But I just don't like that part. I mean geezz...you need to leave during that.

Obviously the Wife: Well I reckon I've seen your backside plenty. Stop being a baby about it.

Dude: Can I stick my finger in your butt?

Wife: Why Lord no you can't do that!! What...in...the...world does my bottom have to do with your condition?!

Dude: Well it's just uncomfortable is all.

Thank goodness her cell phone rang because I was mere seconds from bust-out-loud laughter that would have been impossible to hide. Of course, noticing this on the counter beside me also helped squelch my amusement at dude's expense rather quickly...

What the heck does that have to do with getting a vasectomy!

Apparently, my research didn't cover that part...stupid internet.

In God we trust...unless you're offended by that of course.

2011-10-19T12:25:00.000-04:00

Okay...I stirred up more than one lengthy comment thread on various social media sites with my last post. Good. That was my intent.

When it comes to public office, I'm a firm believer that all issues concerning a given candidate running for office are fair game. Do I like seeing or reading dirty laundry? Absolutely not. But we all own the actions or words we chose daily, so why should political candidates be any different?

Choosing to ignore a candidate's view on matters of faith is only adding to the marginalization of faith already dominating this country. Now I'm being completely transparent on this issue. There's no hidden agenda. I'm a Christian voter who places a lot of emphasis on the adjective in that label. Removing my Christian values from any decision-making process is counter intuitive at best...blatant disregard for my faith at worst (Romans 12:2 among others)...so I shouldn't feel pressure from the political correctness police to wave off or disregard the issue when it comes to voting.
Apparently, I'm far from alone when it comes to Romney. This past weekend, Pew Research conducted a survey of 1007 voting adults that included an open-answer description giving one-word responses-

Given the amount of negative connotations associated in the survey with the other two candidate's names, Herman Cain should be lauding these results. I don't know if I'm more intrigued by Perry's list or Cain's...but I had to chuckle that 19 people associated pizza with Cain. Once a pizza-chain mogul always a pizza-chain mogul...I suppose.

It was really good pizza.

So what's my point in all of this? Believe me, I'm not trying to steer people away from Mitt Romney. All things considered, he is a highly qualified candidate. Also, that is a personal matter for each individual voter. I just don't want the left-leaning media, the out-of-control train called political correctness, or any political caucus for that matter telling me I shouldn't consider the faith of a candidate running for the highest office in our Nation...or any other office for that matter.

That's a clear contradiction to my individual right to practice my religion which is actually in the Constitution. Try finding the words separation of church and state in the same document...

Hang on! We're in for a bumpy ride...

2011-10-13T10:16:00.001-04:00

Most people knew it was coming, but I have to admit I'm surprised a Baptist pastor fired the shot and not the liberal-leaning, Godaphobes in the media. But then again...

Personally, I have very divided feeling about my subject matter today. As a conservative, I really like a lot of what Mitt Romney brings to the table. He's just center-right enough to appeal to a broad base of the voting public, and frankly, his platform is pretty solid when compared to the other Republican candidates in my opinion.

Let me pause right here for a moment for a disclaimer. If you're new to this blog, please note I'm not a R-party or D-party kind of guy. I have numerous issues with BOTH parties, there just happen to be fewer of them with the R's at the moment. I'm not a "dang you!" Barrack Obama flag waver either (or finger waver for that matter). My issues are with his policies...not his persona. Now back to the show...

As a constitutionalist, I understand the grave importance of keeping religion and politics separate issues. That's not saying that religion doesn't have part in matters of politics. Democratic governments are obligated to protect any one's right to practice their faith without risk or threat of persecution. Religion just shouldn't run the state as you see in some Muslim countries. Faith is a matter of choice by God's design...not mandated by legislation.

As a Christian...my position gets a bit more muddled. Having declared the first two positions as a conservative and a constitutionist, it almost seems hypocritical to say I have a problem voting for a candidate who is a known Mormon....but honestly...I do. Above every other adjective, attribute or modifier that can be used to categorized me, I'm a follower of Jesus first and foremost. Period.

That's just how I roll...

Should it matter what faith the leader of our country professes and follows? Absolutely. As a man of faith and an advocate for Christ, I don't see how it could be any other way if I truly believe what I claim to believe. I can't wholeheartedly trust in and share the Holy Bible while voluntarily supporting someone who believes that same Bible is flawed and incomplete. If you're curious exactly what Mormonism teaching, here is an excellent overview.

Before you start throwing the 'judge not lest you be judged' spears at me, this isn't a matter of rendering eternal damnation judgement on anyone. Not my call, and believe me, I'm cool with that. This is about choice. This is about principles. For me, it boils down to this...does my confidence in the man's ability to effectively lead this nation become overshadowed by my complete sadness at his choice to put his faith in a deluded religion?

Would I vote for a Muslim? An atheist? How about a Scientologist?

Yes...that is a very personal matter. But it's also a fundamental question Christians better reflect upon before casting what could be a decisive vote in any election.

Land ho! Let's park by those nice looking huts...

2011-10-10T15:40:00.003-04:00

Admit it...you at least giggled a little at this.

There's no way I'm the only American who finds Columbus Day as a federal holiday a joke. I mean, neither George Washington nor Abraham Lincoln get their own individually recognized day as a holiday...and they actually accomplished something for our country!

Historical evidence has come to show that the Vikings, the Basques and even the Chinese had all footed North America long before the Santa Marie put in anchor in 1492. Not to mention, exactly how in the world do you get credit for discovering an occupied territory? (Hint- the indigenous people didn't belong to the Roman Catholic Church)

With all the political correctness goop flying around these days, it amazes me this issue isn't dripping with the stuff. Although the liberal-leaning world of academia is in constant scream mode about presenting truth, the facts (as if they'd know the truth even if it ran over them), our children still read textbooks that credit Christopher Columbus with finding our continent and none of us are getting mail today as a continuation of this preposterous claim.

Columbus no more discovered America than I discovered my glabella washing my face this morning (that's the space between your eyebrows...that is if you have two...eyebrows that is). So why, oh why, do we continue perpetuating this myth?

Now before Italian-Americans get all up in arms about me not justly recognizing their native culture and contributions on a global scale, let me state I'm a huge fan of Leonardo Da Vinci, Luciano Pavarotti and hey...Giada De Laurentiis is on my television set at least five times a week. Her Food Network recipes rock, not to mention she's pretty easy on the eyes...I'm just saying.

So, let's give it a rest. Shall we? Write or call your worthless representative in our federal government and give them a fair choice. Balance the stinking budget or do away with Columbus Day as a federal holiday. Can you at least get one of the two done?

Feel free to suggest replacing the holiday with say...Neil Armstrong Day. Now that was a genuine first step onto unfounded territory!

Don't hate the player...hate the game.

2011-10-06T11:28:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I'm just not a very good person...

Take just last night for example. I was coming home from a Wednesday night series we are doing at church called Essentials. As a matter of fact, yours truly was the speaker last night for the second of three parts I'm presenting on the Bible. The focus was on the authenticity of God's Word, and the detractors that have created a fracture of skepticism in our society concerning that authenticity.

...and yes, of course. Political correctness was one of the detractors discussed.

While the conceptual goal of political correctness is to reduce or marginalize an attitude of malice directed at any particular group based on socio-economic demographics (read hate crimes here), the actual result has been an increased attitude of hostility and air of intolerance aimed directly at Christians.

Listen up people....it's against our by-laws to hate anyone!

But often, too often, we bring these feelings of contempt on ourselves. Back to last night.

After finishing up an hour-long interactive class and the impromptu follow-up discussions in post-presentation, I headed home to catch the days news on my DVR'd NewsHour program in a little decompression time. I made what I presumed to be a quick stop at a convenience store for a bottle of water...okay, okay...AND a stick of Laffy Taffy. Cherry flavored. No sprinkles.

There's only two people in front of me, and they're together. At first, I was zoned out mentally reviewing my presentation and critiquing what I felt could be done better next week. Be more yourself , be Tony kept echoing in my thoughts as a piece of positive reinforcement advice that came from a highly respected friend after the class.

What is taking so blasted long?

Now I'm focused on the two people at the counter bartering with the cashier. The problem was over exactly what could be paid for by using a welfare card and what couldn't. Now I'm aggravated. The purchase was two packs of cigarettes, two soft drinks, a bag of beef jerky, a prepackaged pickle and a lottery ticket. I'm sorry...I looked.

I then glanced down to notice the girl was wearing American Eagle jeans and some trendy shoe name my teenager is always pestering me about, and the other person (I'd be completely guessing if I stated either male or female) was wearing similar clothing but had a wallet on a chain out (doesn't disqualify previous remark in parenthesis, at least not here) looking for the welfare card.

The transaction is finally completed with all but the smokes and lottery ticket coming off the welfare card. A promise to pay back is met with a remark about having plenty on the card this month, and then both people pick up their iPhones from the counter and head for the door. I'm not really sure if the clerk has broken the law or not, so as tempted as I am to comment...I swallow and refrain.

Exiting with my water and taffy, I passed by the two in a conversation with a Sheriff's Deputy who had also stopped. The conversation was friendly and light-hearted with a parting comment by the deputy that he hoped not to see one of the two persons anytime this month, insinuating frequent encounters with the law were quite common for the person. Everyone was having a good laugh as I got into my 1999 Mazda Protege. They got into a late model Dodge Ram truck with a very nice trim package.

Honestly, I'm heart-broken and ashamed by my feelings as I write this, but they're still prominently there and burning. There were so many verses of Scripture flooding my mind last night...and today as I write this as well. Scripture not pertaining to the other people involved in this story...but directed at me...at my attitude.

I'd love to hear your thoughts Tony C Today readers...

Professor Hinkle's heart was just in the wrong place...

2011-10-03T10:22:00.001-04:00

September is always a tough month for me from a work standpoint. That's by no means a complaint. Just a a fact. I'm very thankful to have not only a job when so many people don't...I'm actually blessed with a job I greatly enjoy.

This past month, I probably overextended myself just a bit more than usual. In addition to the craziness of work, preparing for my weekly Sunday School class and. oh yeah, being the dad of three active girls, I also agreed to be a presenter in a new weekly series at church called Essentials. My segment on the Bible started last week, so my preparation work was ongoing throughout the month.

If you've never taught a Sunday School class or lead a Bible study group, let me state you are really missing out on a blessing. The time and effort required to prepare for either ministry is time with the Holy Spirit I absolutely treasure and adore. Actually, the time is also tremendously edifying for me personally and strengthens my daily walk as well.

While I've been a tad stressed over the overall load of responsibilities over the past month, I was never even remotely tempted to cut corners in any of the areas mentioned. Truth is, my time with you here was about my only sacrifice...but I promise to make up for that neglect as we scream toward the holidays. As the readership of this personally reflective blog has steadily increased, I do feel a certain obligation to produce. Yes, there may be a touch of egocentricity kicking too...but I truly relish in the thought that maybe, just maybe, one of my anecdotes or observations might bring a smile to someone on a day when smiles have been hard to find...or, maybe provoke someone to interreflect on God's love in their life.

I've got to get beezsy, beezsy, beezsy...

I also feel a sense of duty with this blog. My original tone has shifted a little from political perspectives of a Christian man trying to figure out God's place in all of this mess we call civics to more of a reflection on my daily walk. I'm just a normal kind of bloak struggling in a fallen world like everyone else...I just happen to like writing about it. One of my good friends and fellow bloggers will occasionally point out the element of narcissism in that fact, and she's very much right. But, I also look at Tony C Today as an opportunity to serve God in the quirky way he blessed me. Yet another blogging friend, David Johndrow, says if sarcasm is a spiritual gift...the two of us are destined for patriarchal status when we're finally martyred.

Let me close by sharing this with you. Despite the seemingly unnecessary stress of taking on too many responsibilities at once, I started a new month sharing even more time with the young people in my Sunday School last night for dinner. Through their fellowship, discussions, inquiries and even shared trials and troubles, God has poured more blessing on this old boy than I could ever possibly deserve. I'm very thankful to be busy...for Him and His glory.

Don't sell yourself short of the same blessings. Get busy for God and then get ready to be blessed.

"The best substitute for experience is being sixteen." Raymond Duncan

2011-09-20T14:40:00.002-04:00

My oldest turns sixteen tomorrow...sigh.

Every parent goes through these moments of reflective melancholy watching their offspring go from first steps to running the race we call life in what seems like overnight. I'm no different...but I am very fortunate.

So far (I say with crossed fingers), the journey has been mostly uneventful from a derogatory standpoint on her part. I wish I could say the same about her sixteen years on my own behalf. While she has been and continues to be an utmost priority for yours truly, she was my first, and I look back at many things I would do differently today to give her the absolute best advantage at succeeding in adulthood. Her two younger sisters will definitely benefit from those lessons of experience.

I'm often accused of being just too hard on my teenager. I can live with that. My expectations are high but beyond a doubt obtainable on her part with just thought and effort. Our home has one guiding principle that all other rules or expectation fall under...priorities are and always will be- 1. God 2. Family and 3. Education. I would be remiss not to credit my own mother for those values I now hold so dear...I just hate it took me so long to realize how important those things are in life when properly aligned.

While I'm dolling out gratitude, I know in my heart things would most likely be very different in my life today without Mrs. Tony C. Her virtuous fingerprints are all over the life of my oldest...even though she's not her own. God smiled on me in a tremendous way the day my eyes opened to His will for my life. He then blessed me further when I opened them to find a beautiful young woman with the patience and perseverance of Job in front of me. My teenager may or may not realize it today, but she has been living and hopefully learning from the very best of role models.

I remember the day in this picture as if 2003 were just this past weekend...Mrs. Tony C trying to figure out the game of professional hockey while my oldest reflects the nonsensical pose of youth. Great memories.

Thinking back to my own sixteenth birthday brings a flood of emotions that range from jubilance to utter shame. If you're an atheist that happens to read this blog which is based on the Christian perspective of this old bloke...hear me out. You need no other proof of God than the very fact I personally have survived to be nearly a half century old...we need to talk. Oh I know I got a few amens on that statement!

Of course, these days about the most reckless thing I do is eat prepackaged salads from Walmart. No more jumping out of this or diving under that...I've wised with age as well as mellowed. I often tell my teenager she's one of the mentally toughest people, not just kids, I know. Sure, there's a streak of impulsiveness, but hey...all things considering...she never tried to make her own hang glider. The jury hasn't even been seated yet for her sister, the Crazy Tomato. Thank God for Mrs. Tony C again!

Sweet sixteen is truly a benchmark moment in life. Not quite old enough to be a young adult but no longer young enough to plead plausible ignorance, sixteen kicks off what most people consider the best years of life...but I'm not sure I'm in that club. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast from sixteen to say...thirty-five. Okay. So I stretched it out a bit longer than most people, but the reason I don't consider those the best years of my life boils down to a single word...joy.

If you personally know God, then you also know the difference between His joy and fun or happiness or even enjoyment are vast...yet truly interdependent.

If you're reading this sweetheart...take the broken-record adage you've heard from me all your life of don't be a victim and replace it now with that last sentence. I love you with all my heart Roo... Happy Birthday.

YouTube has much more than just bad lip syncing and piano playing cats...

2011-09-15T08:54:00.000-04:00

Like it or not, social media venues have become a very powerful force in our society...

As a blogger, I'm not going to 'preach to the choir' with my post today. If you're reading this, then to you, I've already stated the obvious. What may not be so palpable, however, is exactly the extent to which social media tools have saturated our daily lives.

Who doesn't have an email address these days? Telling someone you don't have an email address is comparable to someone 30 years ago saying they didn't have a telephone number. Immediately you're labeled a troglodyte who's unattached to the very world where you live. Fair? Hey...I don't make the rules of acceptable social behavior. I have a hard enough time following them myself!

It's not just basic internet-based communications like email either. Facebook alone now has over 750 million active members. That's more people than live on five of the world's seven continents. So is Facebook a cyber-continent? Sorry Europe...that would move you to fourth now by population. Hope Facebook doesn't go your route and try to create their own collective currency, since...you know...that's working so well for you guys.

So as a Christian, where am I suppose to be in all of social media craze? Thou shall not Twitter didn't make the Big Ten back in the Book of Exodus...so that doesn't really help calibrate my moral compass on the issue. Jesus clearing up all those thou shalts and thou shalt nots by breaking it down to two basic directives(love God, love neighbor) doesn't really fit here either. Still, the Bible is the Living Word and can be applied to any and all aspects of my life. So...exactly where does social media fit in matters of faith?

Truth is...I think we over think way too much.

Did Peter break open his KJV Bible and start preaching to the folks in Rome in the early church? Of course not. Peter spread the Goods News based on what he had personally been taught and seen in the ministry of Jesus by the spoken word. Letters were rare..and books were even more so in Peter's day. Unfortunately for Peter, hearsay was admissible in the court of Nero...

Did Martin Luther deliver The Ninety-Five Theses to the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany by certified mail? I don't think so. Something that important should pretty much be delivered in person... with a hammer and nail for accentuating purposes. Drives the point home plus you can beat back angry clerics as you make a quick exit.

So why are Christians so polarized about the issue of social media use? Isn't it just the latest advance in means of communicating with each other?

I live in the South, and the phrase keep it old timey is as cliche here as my peeps up North might hear freeze your ____ off ....well...you know... they do use a lot more colorful language than us. But what does keep it old timey mean? Aside from timey not even being an actual word, I think people get hung up on the traditional means of their day and become fixated on the old way being tried and true, therefore, it must be the right way...the only way.

I'm sure if the Apostles of the early church could have looked forward to the year 1454 and seen the Gutenberg press churning out numerous copies of the very words of Jesus, there would have been a great deal of anxiety on their parts. What if something were misquoted? Misrepresented? What if the Great Deceiver himself corrupted the printings?! But look at how the printing press has brought millions to know and accept the Good News.

The phenom known as social media is no different. Sure, there are many dangerous agents that look to spread evil verses good, but God knew this from the very beginning. Also, Jesus spoke specifically to the perils of tradition with the Pharisees in Mark chapter 7- Stop living in the past dudes...well that's a paraphrase...of course.

Now I don't believe neither time nor any innovation can replace the importance of sharing the Good News with someone face-to-face. Living an exemplary life, loving others and showing compassion will never go out of style, but let's not be too hasty as Christians to write off social media tools as an instrument of evil only. As a matter of fact, I personally know a husband and wife who just six years ago lived in Iran as Muslims but were searching for truth. Through social media sources like blogs and chat rooms they connected with Christians. Today, they are both born-again Believers who escaped the repression and now worship and learn freely among other Christians due in part to those very social media sources.

Did I mention they are also bloggers and my Facebook friends?

Life can get pretty busy...but not too busy to share a chuckle

2011-09-12T10:30:00.001-04:00

Hard to believe a year and another addition has happened in my family since this post! September is always the very busiest month for me professionally, so please be a little understanding as I mix in the old with the new this month. Today, one of my personal favorites about my beloved Crazy Tomato.
Thanks for reading!

Kids really do say the darnedest things...
(Originally posted 9/14/2010)

I'm on my second rodeo when it comes to 2-year olds...

That's my little fire gem to the right. Another blessing from Heaven and living proof to me just how much God truly loves me. Of course, tough love is love none the less.

Carlee is the second of my two...soon to be three...daughters. While both girls share several common traits (i.e stubbornness, impatience, fiercely competitive, etc.), there are also some core differences. Carlee's older sister (Tony C version 2A) was for the most part a very soft spoken toddler. She spoke quite often but mild-mannered. True to stereotypical profiling, she is now a loud, annoying teenager...but I still truly love her (Happy 15th Birthday yesterday).

Tony C version 2B is far more in-your-face than version 2A as indicated by this recent exchange:

Tony C: (looking over counter in direction of dishwasher) Carlee? Are you messing with the dishwasher buttons again? You know that's off limits. Carlee?

Version 2B: (slight paused, then popping into view with hands out) You don't worry about me! Tony, you just don't worry about Carlee and worry about Tony!

Tony C: (off-balance by the rebuttal) Excuse me?

Version 2B: You just don't worry about me. You worry about Tony, and Carlee will worry about Carlee.

Tony C: (regaining composure) Come here! Come right here, right now!

Version 2B: But I don't want a spanking! Just don't worry about me!

Tony C: Now!

Version 2B: (chin tucked into chest, lower lip puffed out and mumbling) I don't want a spanking.

Tony C: (lifting tot up onto the table and looking right into her eyes) I worry about Carlee because it's my job to worry about Carlee. I'm your dad! Don't tell me not to worry about you. Understand?

Version 2B: (under breath) Yes sir.

She does actually call me Tony part of the time, and while this is a point of contention with some of my extended family, I'm cool with it. Her sister went through the same phase and grew out of it (and I'm sure on to calling me much worse behind closed doors).

While there is rarely a day goes by that Mrs. Tony C and I aren't entertained by our rambunctious toddler who seems to be obsessed with bodily functions involving digestion or shedding her clothing whenever and wherever opportunity presents, her matter-of-fact dialog and take on life keeps us in stitches...as well as...on edge.

One recent morning while preparing to depart for school and work, I let the teenager deal with getting the toddler ready (mom departs at 6:30 am for work). After 15 minutes of bickering and crying (by both I might add), I headed downstairs to let the teenager finish what she had started:

Tony C: (yelling back upstairs) Girls! It is time to go...no...past time to go! Get a move on it!

Teenager: (with toddler screaming in the background) Dad...she won't let me put her clothes on her!

Toddler: Stop! Don't touch me! Stop!

Tony C: Carlee! If you don't let your sister help you get dressed...

Toddler: No! I want you to do it!

Tony C: If I have to come back up these stairs, you will definitely get a spanking for not listening! Let your sister dress you...we have to go now!

Toddler: Come spank me! I want a spanking! Then you can put my clothes on!

While I've never heard those words come out of the toddler's mouth again, I should have punished the teenager too for not finishing the task and letting a 2-year old get the best of her...but then I'm sure she has plenty more lessons still yet to come before she's off to college.

Funny how birth control can come in many different forms.

Three years and I'm still trying to figure this thing out...

2011-09-02T10:22:00.003-04:00

Three years!! Today, I start my fourth year of blogging on Blogger while seriously contemplating a move to WordPress. Ironic. My very first post (Is it just me? I kinda doubt it...) was the beginning of a love affair that has been a number of things- fun, stressful, irritating, rewarding and satisfying just to name a few.

Just to do a bit of celebrating, I thought I would reissue the post that has received the most hits of my 258 muses. To be honest, I'm somewhat surprised by this post receiving 1286 hits since February of this year and claiming the spot. It's not even controversial! So without further adieu, I give you a day in the life of Joe Pony.

Thanks for continuing to read Tony C Today.

The Adventure of Joe Pony...(what we'll do for our kids).
Originally posted February 4, 2011

To say I love my daughters would be a gross understatement. I adore my girls! So needless to say, I was crushed when the 3-year old (aka the Crazy Tomato) was heartbroken and confused when I didn't take Joe Pony to work with me yesterday.

Who's Joe Pony you ask?

Having all girls, there's not very many toys for little boys in our house. I know better than to include the numerous sports toys and balls laying around the house because I understand the spirit of the Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972. But I digress...

So me and the Crazy Tomato were playing with her My Little Pony toys the night before in our living room. She had one called...Rainbow or something, and wanted to know the name of the one I was playing with at the time.

Tony C: Joe.

I'm not very good at naming inanimate objects. Nicknames for real people I can whip out in a flash. Dolls...not so brilliant. So my baby blue pony was Joe Pony...despite the fact it was wearing a skirt. Hey! I don't judge peopl....pon...toy things. Okay?

When Mrs. Tony C told me the Crazy Tomato came into the living room the next morning and saw Joe Pony in the floor, it broke my heart to think she was disappointed or maybe thought I didn't have fun playing with her. So...for the benefit of my own personal Jan Brady (she's the middle child, keep up), I took Joe Pony to work with me today and documented the whole adventure for her to enjoy.

Okay...I had a little fun with it too.

Joe Pony prepares for the mad dash that starts each workday for me. Between us, I don't think Joe combed its hair this morning.

The teenager just doesn't get the spirit of the situation and chalks it up...as usual...as dumb!

She seems to have forgotten the numerous tea parties yours truly attended between 1998 and 2001 as the international guest of tea drinking events known as Mr. Cumberbucket...

Joe Pony isn't required to wear a seat belt in my state because...well it's plastic. A legal loophole liberals haven't figured out to date.

Traffic was light this morning in the overcast commute.

We got to work a little ahead of schedule today. I hope Joe Pony doesn't get the wrong idea that's a normal occurrence for me.
That unkempt hair is killing me. How embarrassing!

Joe Pony had a difficult time comprehending the company's complex telecommunications system. Then again...so does everyone else at work.

A true student of Dale Carnegie principles, Joe Pony decided to give the Billing Department a hand since they were down a person today due to illness.

During a pretty lengthy post-lunch meeting, Joe Pony nodded off, so we decided to play the old 'everyone quietly leave the room' joke. It was a real hoot!

Joe Pony's making new friends fast by being good natured.

While visiting the Shipping and Receiving Department, Joe Pony met a long lost relative. It was a very nice surprise to the day, and we all gathered around and sang For He's a Jolly Good Fellow just to add to the festive moment.

I was completely shocked to find Joe Pony had wandered into the President's office and was trying to pull up a 'racey' website on his computer. He claims someone else put him up to it.

Luckily, the company firewall prevented me from having to access the computer later and do some selective web browser history cleaning.

All in all, it was a great experience bringing Joe Pony to work with me today. I just need to remember not to play with the rather large Molly Dolly with her before bed during the week. She's not very nice and might damage my reputation at work...

Do what you do when you do what you do...

2011-08-31T12:16:00.009-04:00

Why do you blog?

Just a few weeks ago, I was asked this very question by a lady who's a regular reader of Tony C Today. The follow-up question was a logical progressive inquisition.

How in the world do you come up with all those things you write?

As I recall, my response started with a light chuckle and mental echo of Mrs. Tony C answering for me with an expletive on the waste by-product of the bovine digestive tract. Not that she would ever actually say that...

I have to admit, the moment of recognition for me was...uncomfortable. Now, I'm by no means a shy person (those who personally know me can stop laughing). Never been accused of being a shy person. Quite probably at one time in my life, I might actually have been labeled as outspoken...and I dare to even say maybe overbearing. For a number of reasons, I feel safe in saying both characterizations are thankfully behind me. Still, that left the question dangling...why do I blog?

Pondering the questions for several days, I started deeply reflecting on my real motives for spending time each week pounding out anecdotes on my keyboard. I went back and read the first few months of post that started three years ago this coming Friday and discovered a much different tone than readers see today...more political, conservatively vernacular, postulational and maybe even cerebral.

Mentally projected Mrs. Tony C: BOOOOORRRRRING!

Yes. Maybe that too.

So why the change? Even more fundamentally, why do I do this? I realize today the answer to both questions is, in part, one in the same. Through blogging, I've discovered a venue to channel my love of writing. Sure. A personal journal might satisfy the same desire, but sharing my muses in an attempt to entertain others more closely fits my personally.

Entertain?

Now we're closing in on something. From a very early age, cowering away from the proverbial spotlight has never been in my makeup. That has an element of both good and bad, if the truth be told. In high school, I was the guy who twice hosted the annual Talent Show in the style of Chuck Barris a la' The Gong Show. No problem. In college, well...I'd rather not go there if you don't mind. As a Marine Officer, impromptu speaking was an actual rated skill on fitness reports and taught in basic training. No problem. In my job today, communicating effectively with people from different backgrounds and cultures is crucial to successful outcomes. No problem again.

Those are the good. The bad element is a bit less overt. When I've opined a statement concerning the decrepit state of our government, a certain amount of audaciousness goes with that view. Who am I to stake such a claim? Why should my thoughts be taken any more serious that any other political pundit...and we should ALL be pundits when it comes to civic issues like the political process. <-------- See! There...right there! A perfect example of the dilemma. What's it to me if Joe Blow could care less about the country's political quagmire? Why should everyone else see things the way I do (wouldn't that be nice...and boring)?

Stating an opinion and throwing it out on the internet for the world to see can be a...well...humbling experience at times. THAT is not necessarily a bad element. A maybe, just maybe, where my uneasiness came from in the opening stated exchange. Here's where the fog starts to clear for me.

Initially, my approach to blogging was to emphatically state my opinion on any given topic making sure to assert my Christian perspective. Political evangelicalism...if you will. Not necessarily a bad thing, but also not really who I am either. But a funny thing happened. As accurate (or not) as hit counters can be, I noticed a trend concerning the different topics I posted. Personal, more reflective post far exceeded hits over a more polarizing political issue post. GASP. Do all Christians not share the same political views? Shut the door!

Gradually, my blog has taken on a personality more closely resembling my own. Yes. I still on occasion dabble in the political sphere, but I think my true reason for writing Tony C Today is to share with others that an ordinary shlub like me making his way through life's journey can once in a while stop, poke a little fun at himself (maybe a few others) and still be genuinely thankful to a loving God that I know this life just isn't as good as it gets. Being a Christian has a number of aspects that go with the title,...but immune to a little fun in life isn't one of them.

I appreciate all of you for coming along on the ride.

...and thank you (and you know who you are) for asking the questions too. By the way...I guess I do it for Him because He lets me.

Go Tony C. Go!

2011-08-23T14:52:00.002-04:00

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Not one of those NyQuil-induced, running from zombies kind of dreams either. I dreamt I was actually in the book Go, Dog. Go! Okay...so maybe is was like one of those NyQuil-induced, running from zombies kind of dreams...but I was cold medicine clean on my word.

Anyway, the 1961 classic by P.D. Eastman has always been one of my favorites. I believe Eastman understood the repetitive nature for parents of reading books to young children and managed to layer the book to appeal to adults as well as kids.

Then again, maybe I am just really that jejune.

So, here I am in the middle one of my all-time favorite books going through the story. Now, I know I've read this book a thousand times to both the teenager (when she was younger, of course) and now the Crazy Tomato. Baby C is on deck for what's sure to be more recital than readings for her turn at the classic tale of dogs gone wild. To say I'm familiar with the story, plot and characters is attuned to saying Ronald McDonald is familiar with Happy Meals...hey wait...okay, go ahead. I set that one up for you way too easy.

I was driving to work this morning seriously wondering if this is how it all starts. First, you begin dreaming you're part of childhood stories. Then, you begin exiting the mall looking for your parked car wandering aimless before finally realize you didn't even drive. Next, you start repeating the same stories over and over completely oblivious to prior tellings. Somewhere around here in the analysis I realized...that all of the above already apply to me! GASP

I changed my destination to Walmart before work to pick up some adult diapers. I mean...that's obviously next in my rapid decline into dementia, and I wear Khaki pants every single day. Not going to chance 'it' happening and me not even realizing 'it' while walking around the office. SIGH

About this point, I looked around to survey the progression of my daily commute. Line of cars bumper-to-bumper, full speed ahead. Typical. Wait a second...this looks very familiar. Yes...it...does. Hey! My daily commute looks a lot like...

...come to think of it, I know Mrs. Tony C and I have had exchanges like this (maybe not about hats) too many times to count...

...this, looks a lot like...

Earlier Saturday mornings at the Tony C estate...

Finally I realized...that's it! I didn't just dream I was in Go Dogs. Go!...I actually live there nearly every day! The hectic pace of modern day life in a dog-eat-dog world...there's an obvious connection! Maybe I'm not ready for the Haldol just yet after all. SHEW

It's also reassuring to know that even in my kooky dream last night, there was Mrs. Tony C cheering me on...

...but I won't be sharing that part of the dream with you folks. Sorry.

Just hang on…I’m about to get jiggy with it.

2011-08-16T10:52:00.005-04:00

I had the privilege of stepping up and helping a couple very dear to me this past weekend. Two young people from my Sunday School class entered into the sacred bond of matrimony on Saturday afternoon, but it wasn’t pulled off without a few kinks in the works…naturally.

The week prior, the bride discovered that the band she had booked for the reception was bailing on her. In the realm of Murphy’s Law, weddings and receptions are always ground zero. But alas, for every problem, there is always a solution! So a quick text to yours truly and the reception music void is filled by DJ Tony C…

Okay. When you stop laughing, I will finish the story.

Saturday wasn’t my first music-spinning rodeo. I’ve been booked on a number of special occasions, including a wedding, to man the mike and the mix. My…ahem…skills come with two special features- 1. I can be counted on to be there, and 2. I’m cheap…as in free.

Of course, Mrs. Tony C immediately meets hearing the request with skepticism. She quickly makes two of her own counterpoints- 1. You don’t have DJ sound equipment, and 2. Nobody wants to listen to that old crap on your iPod.

Ouch. That really stings. My music is considered classic…not old…thank you very much.

As I pointed out prior, this wasn't my first gig, and I had a secret weapon to address one of her two issues. DJ Tony C happens to come with the best sound man in the business (aka Sound Daddy Grand) who happens to be equipped to the teeth. Not only that, in all of my prior performances, said Sound Daddy Grand sets everything up, sound checks and has the rig ready to roll when show time comes. Yes. He’s really spoiled me.

DJ equipment- check.

Without hesitation, I jumped into the request with both feet. The concept of an old dude cranking out tunes at a young people wedding never phased me. Why? Quite simply…you just have to let the bride decide the music! Brilliant.

iTunes to iPod + Sound Daddy Grand’s set up=good time had by all.

So, a quick text to the bride and this party is ready to get started. I’m going to apologize in advance because I might get a little teary eyed at this next part. The response I received was…gold. The bride wanted her first dance to be to When I Say I Do and the daddy/daughter dance to Cinderella.

Check and check.

When I inquired what kind of music she liked, I believe God Himself smiled upon me. She replied she loved…80’s music!

Big check and a plus sign to boot!

DJ Tony C: She likes 80’s music. Hear that…80’s music. Journey is her favorite (tear)!
Mrs. Tony C: No way! She really wants 80’s music? How are we dancing to that?
DJ Tony C: Like MC Hammer baby! (breaking into side shuffle)
Mrs. Tony C: Please don’t do that at the reception. I beg you just please don’t. Are you crying?

Just to get Mrs. Tony C off my back, I download something called Cha Cha Shuffle and Cupid Slide or Cupid Shuffle and Cha Cha Slide. Apparently, there’s an overwhelming need at a large gathering of celebratory white people for line dancing. I’m just saying…it’s indeed a sad spectacle.

Things only got better for me when the wedding planner gave me the emcee agenda and directed that soft, mellow music be played while people were eating so they could comfortably converse.

Soft, mellow music like Five for Fighting, James Ingram, Aaron Neville and James Taylor? Check, check, check and check.

I must admit final validation came when a younger, 20-something female approached my station:

Young female: What is this song playing?
DJ Tony C: Donny Osmond. Sacred Emotion from 1989.
Young female: Donny Osmond? Wow. I really like that.
DJ Tony C: It is a nice song for a wedding reception (Yes!).

Granted, Mrs. Tony C was looking way hot at the wedding and reception…but it was DJ Tony C burning down the house with the best sound outside of any known elevator. Now I’ve just got to get that shuffle/slide crap off my iPod in case I’m ever in a car accident.

DJ Tony C with the lovely newlyweds

Pasteur?! Like we wouldn't have eventually figured that one out on our own...

2011-08-11T16:02:00.000-04:00

I had to chuckle today when I came across a short article about the origin of the idiom pardon my French. No. There weren't really any major revelations or even an interesting Paul Harvey-esc Now you know the rest of the story moment. Truth be told...no one seems to really know from where the expression hails.

It's no secret, after all, that most Americans closely associate the French with profanity anyway. And why shouldn't we? The European country seems to have quickly forgotten that German would now be their nation language if not for a few of the homeboys travelling over to help out a couple of generations ago. Thus, the prevailing condescending attitude of their red, white and blue directed at our stars and stripes is enough to make a red-blooded American want to...well...curse.

Calm down mom...I said want to. Put your soap bar back up.

To make matters even worse, Spike TV opened the third season of Deadliest Warriors with a head-to-head battle between General George Washington and Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and declared Washington a narrow victor.

Shut the front door!

That little...weasel... wouldn't stand a chance against our nation's first president. If Napoleon couldn't get the better of a Duke named after a fancy-smancy beef dish, how in the world could he beat a man who turned down being a king?! Turned...it...down!! Washington was a man among men...and great men at that.

If you're a conspiracy theorist, the French are straight in your cross hairs as a major reason for child obesity in this country. What innocent 4-year old doesn't love french fries or french toast? Maybe the master plan is leading our nation into eating its way to third-world status with the French, Chinese, Mexicans and Italians behind it all?

Sweet fancy Moses!

Back to the French and profanity link.

So, exactly why do we use the common apologetic expression after a slip of the tongue? Why not pardon my German or pardon my Swahili? How about a nation-neutral pardon my rudeness or pardon my lack of verbal sophistication?

Personally, I would like to hear pardon my ignorant, unsophisticated use of the beautiful English language and for subjugating you to this verbose and awkward disclaimer. I'm neither an attorney nor an attorney spokesperson. I'm just a neanderthal-like knucklehead who often forgets four-letter words never, ever actually make people take me more serious.

Brilliant!

Looking back over that statement, I suddenly have a clearer understanding of why I don't drink champagne, eat Dannon yogurt, read Women's Day magazine, drive on B.F Goodrich tires, use Bic razors, wear Mephisto shoes, watch Jerry Springer (look it up) or cook in T-Fal cookware.

And by the way...I think Dijon mustard taste like...poupon! Pardon the French.

Well there you have it…the delicate genius says there’s no God.

2011-08-08T12:21:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite times of the day is just after Baby C wakes up. She will contently lie in her crib playing with her feet or favorite stuffed animal and babble or hum in the most adorable way. Mrs. Tony C and I will often take it all in via the baby monitor from our bedroom consumed by the pride and satisfaction of the wonderful creation we have managed. Aren’t we so special…

Well, actually we’re not…according to Stephen Hawking.

Call it inquisition, self-induced aggravation or just plan geekdome, but I’m drawn to shows on the Discovery Channel and the Science Channel. I guess it’s that whole scorpion and the frog anecdote…it’s just my nature...I’m sorry.

So, I spent part of my Sunday night watching a new series on the Science Channel called Curiosity. Ironic. The first episode promised to answer the question- Did God create the universe? which to me was obviously a rhetorical question.

Apparently Hawking didn’t get that memo.

Accounting for skipped commercials (yes, it was recorded), I watched and listened for the better part of 40 minutes while the mostly narrated words of the famous physicist explained how the entire universe from the very creation could be explained using the existing laws of nature. His conclusion, however, was the most compelling (Spoiler alert! In case you’re watching later).

According to Hawking since time didn’t exist until the Big Bang that created our universe, there was in fact no time for God to exist within…therefore, there is no God.

(cricket noises)

(Hand raised) Excuse me…I have just a few questions Dr. Hawking.

I found it very convenient how you quickly summed up the problem in your theory of something being created from nothing as a complex issue of quantum physics. Since matter is merely energy at, shall we say a slower pace, all that was needed was energy and space to create all the matter we see today. But where did the energy and space originate? In all of recorded science, there is not a single know source of infinite energy…discounting the human soul of course.

On the issue of the bang in the aforementioned Big Bang, if only energy and space existed before the singularity that created all we see today and time came into existence at that moment, doesn’t that negate your hero Einstein's theory of relativity since the speed of light squared is a matter of time and distance? Did I miss that explanation?

Last one. Since Newton’s Laws of Motion are also a fundamental building block of your conclusion, where did the external force or push to get the cosmic ball rolling originate? Granted my knowledge concerning Newton’s brilliant theory is approaching the very limit of my formal education in physics, but according to you, these laws can’t be broken…ever…so I’m having a hard time reconciling how F=ma when there is neither mass nor acceleration (element of time) in your pre-Big Bang theory, and even most grade school kids understand the swing just won’t go without the F (force).

Maybe it’s me…but this all looks and sounds a lot like another very misleading theory being sold by a snake about an apple a long time ago…without the fancy graphics and reenactments of history.

I guess it all boils down to faith no matter how you try to explain how the universe began. Sorry Steve…your theories and equations require far too much for me. I’ll just stick with what I know.

The Truth isn't found half way between right and wrong...

2011-08-04T13:55:00.001-04:00

Friends...I've got to admit I'm in a complete state of both shock and disgust.

I tried to catch a little of the national evening news before church last night. Rarely do I look at the local newspaper or watch the local television news because it's just so laden with what I call 'blodder news.' More on that in a moment.

One of the lead stories last night was about the international federal roundup of a group of cyber-child porn freaks. The largest in our country's history. I couldn't help but think to myself watching the story...you can run, but you can't hide scumbags. Since I was pressed for time, I made sure the rest of the news was spinning to the DVR to watch later and headed to church.

A very close friend of mine after the service inquired if I'd seen the news about someone we both knew. I had heard he was in the custody of federal officials, but what he showed me next was...well...very distressing. The man in question was actually one of the 52 people arrested in connection with the national story I had watched just hours prior. It was a local news story. All I could think was...how can that be?

This man (I use that term strictly in the biological sense) was a local police office. Smart. Mannerly. Not a guy you would ever associate with such a heinous crime. Yet, he was one of 72 people worldwide federal investigators were accusing of perpetrating a child pornography distribution ring on the internet. Unbelievable.

When I got home and pulled up the local story to read, it directed to the national story that was also on all the news stations. Folks. I'm not naive. I know we live in a dark, sinful world. But the things I read on the national media story truly made me sick to my stomach. I stopped reading and closed my eyes in prayer. I desperately needed the warm love of my Father to counter the ice running through my veins.

I've written about yet another guy I know in prison today for similar atrocities.Many of us who know him are still in complete disbelief about his revelation over 2 years ago. My point isn't to counter what I said in that post...because to God...sin is sin. We all are guilty and deserve death, but by grace we can overcome that death. In return, we are expected to love one another...sins and all. Even with that knowledge deeply rooted in my core belief system, I still find myself consumed with anger by the facts presented in yesterday's story. My mind struggles but fails to fully comprehend the details I read. Finally, a mental image of Satan laughing at it all causes me to pray once more. This is the fallen world we live in due to sin...

The Casey Anthony story didn't catch my attention like it did the rest of the nation. Yes. The story is very tragic on a number of levels. Even so, it grossly fails in comparison to a group of people dedicated to facilitating themselves and others who participate in the intentional harming of children, from babies to teenagers, in sexual ways impossible for any normal, rational human being to understand. All to gratify and promote their own demented urges. Freaks who take pleasure in watching actual living, breathing kids being tortured for their entertainment.

And I personally know one of them...

I came very close to not writing this post today. I'm both saddened and embarrassed to know both people I've mentioned. Dread hovers over me like a dark cloud wondering if there will be another surprise in the future along these lines. A small part of my faith waivers as I grapple with thoughts of vengeance...which leads to even more feelings of shame. Again...I must stop to pray.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. Romans 12:19

Honestly...I'm struggling today in the WWJD way my friends...and just needed an ear.

Help! I've fallen and can't reach my iPod!

2011-08-01T13:06:00.002-04:00

Middle-aged stinks!

When I see this commercial for Urloic, a medication for people who suffer from gout, I have to admit I see an old guy. My apologies to the actor who brilliantly nails the part...of an old guy who suffers from gout.

So if gout is an affliction on the elderly, then why in the blue blazes did it attack me this past week?!

Okay. Just stop! I know you've already read this year about bad backs, sebaceous cyst and the battle of the middle-aged spread. Maybe you should add denial to the list as well. While I don't necessarily think of myself as old, apparently medical demographics has a different point-of-view. I guess that it's time for me to face the facts of the mileage starting to pile up on the old odometer...and hard miles at that.

There are few things more humbling in life than trying to out crawl your 8-month old to get to the bathroom door (I know I would have won too if I'd been even with her at the start. Little cheater!). But that's the lowly place I found myself this weekend when the uric acid mechanism in my left ankle went haywire. So just what is this gout thing? How did I get it? I mean after all, I don't eat real sausage anymore. Just the fake turkey stuff. Sausage is what always triggered an attack in Uncle Bob.

The scientific answer is this:

All I know is this:

Now before you go making fun of my white ankle socks and Crocs, please take note to the swelling in my left ankle first. And that's much improved! Mrs. Tony C tells me the white socks with open shoes is an old man thing. Apparently either she isn't getting the memos or completely in denial about my decrepit state too.

But I'm all about the fix. So from the comfort of my own bed with leg properly elevated on pillows, a quick internet search produced a plethora of information...and information is power...even for old people. While the forces of DNA can't be disallowed for my latest affliction, diet seems to play a large part too. No problem there. Been working rather diligently on that one already. The key to preventing a flare up seems to be avoiding foods rich in the compound purine. Okay. So what are those foods?

From the Web-MD website:

Examples of high-purine choices to avoid:

•Beef

•Pork

•Lamb

•Certain seafood (canned tuna, dark meat fish)

•Certain shellfish (shrimp, lobster, scallops)

•Non-diet soft drinks

•Beer

•Liquor

What?! I'm just thankful Honey Bunches of Oats and turkey sausage isn't on the list or I wouldn't have anything left to eat!

Wow middle-aged stinks.

To celebrate #250...Tony C's Top Ten Favorite Things in Life.

2011-07-26T12:48:00.001-04:00

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You've got to be kidding me!!

According to Blogger, this is my 250th blog post on Tony C Today. While I've had a number of issues with my hosting site through the years, I'll assume their count is in the ballpark +/-10. That sounds about right to me anyway...

Thinking back to September 2, 2008, I've mused a lot of...well...stuff in those near three years. I'm being nice and not using a potty word that also starts with an 's' there in case you're wondering. It's all about the kids these days.

So how do I celebrate this milestone? While I'm not even close to the posting promiscuity of say a David Johndrow or Matt Appling, I've plugged along with a pish-posh of anecdotes, political opinions and New Age bashings that quite frankly makes me swell with pride...or maybe that's just the cucumbers I had for lunch causing that effect. Nonetheless! I'm going to commemorate the occasion with a list! Yes, that's right...a list!

Today, I give you Tony C's Top Ten Favorite Things in Life. I'm leaving off the obvious, presumed answers like God, Mrs. Tony C, family and Double Stuffed Oreos in order to provide you with a deeper (maybe more disturbing) look into the things I just couldn't live without...or at least wouldn't really want to live without. Drum roll please...

1. Humor- Giggles, chuckles, snorters or tear-producing belly laughs are an essential part of my life. I'm convinced without a daily dose of humor coming from somewhere...I'd have stroked out years ago. Now that's not funny.

2. Lonesome Dove DVD- If I had to pick one single show to watch the rest of my life, Captains Augustus McCrae and Woodrow Call would fit the bill. Larry McMurty wrote a masterpiece that transcends time... and apparently female taste. I often watch and recite alone.

3. Internet- Hi, my names Tony C, and I'm an information addict. Acknowledgement is the first step in recovery, but I can't seem to get past step one. Let me just google 12 steps...

4. ESPN Smartphone App- Guys...need I say more? I could care less about talking to anyone on my smartphone as long as I can get scores, breaking news and the latest on the Favre comeback watch.

5. Porcelain- Okay. This one falls in the been there, done without it, T-shirt cliche. Not only am I very fond of clean porcelain in a warm room, I'm a home-field advantage kinda guy too. Call it my personal sanctuary.

6. Stupid People- I love 'em! Not just in the Mark 12:31 kinda way either. Not only do stupid people provide me with a near constant source of entertainment (see #1), I'm not into that whole being an army of one thing. I'd get so lonely...

7. Fresh Fruit- While I'm particular to the reds (strawberries, cherries and watermelon), I've not found a fruit I didn't like. However, I'm not that fond of raspberries...but I think that's a spelling thing.

8. Phil Rudd- Yes. I know Neil Peart (Rush) is the greatest to ever pick up a set of sticks, but Phil (AC/DC) proved to so many of us normal drum pounders that a strong back beat with a heavy bass foot is as good as gold. For those about to rock, we salute you!

9. Seinfeld Reruns- I truly don't think I could carry on a conversation without a Seinfeldism or at least one episode reference. It would just be yada, yada, yada.

10. Ryan Reynolds- Nope. I'm not elaborating on this one...but trust me, I have my reasons.

Thanks for reading my...stuff!

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Losing a close friend is definitely like a punch in the gut...right after eating a McDonalds #2 Value Meal.

2011-07-22T13:59:00.000-04:00

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I've received several inquiries of late on my writing absence concerning the debt ceiling debacle. While I did post an opinion back in May (click here if you're interested), I've remained silent since while still taking in the whole fiasco with great interest. Granted the matter at hand has grave consequences for our country's future which is why I'm thrilled Washington is finally doing a great service to the Nation and giving partisan politics a rest...

Right...

To be honest, I'm actually a bit in mourning. No...no one close to me has died recently, yet I have lost a dear, close friend nonetheless. My fond attachment to our space program is no secret on Tony C Today. I've even publicly stated a desire for my middle child, the Crazy Tomato, to be one of the first humans on Mars. Red hair to the red planet is our daddy/daughter motto...when her mother isn't around that is.

So it should come as no surprise that at 5:57 am ET yesterday morning, I became a bit melancholy when the Space Shuttle Atlantis landed thus ending my 30-year love affair with the retiring fleet of space buses...I mean ships.

To the world, the Space Shuttle was as American as it gets.

By that you mean a gluttonously expensive program ran by the government that came far from meeting originally stated expectation and far over estimated operational cost?

No! I mean American...like Mickey Mouse, the Yankees and Shoney's Restaurants! General Electric, corn on the cob, and yard sales! America!

Anyway...the Space Shuttle was from my generation. My parents had the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs which were definitely sexy and exciting. Then came Skylab! Who can forget that golden age of space exploration...well...at least space habitation. And finally the monumental Apollo-Soyuz mission when original Mercury Seven astronaut Deke Slayton (The Right Stuff) finally got into space aboard a hollowed out Apollo capsule so stripped down there were only three toggle switches on the control panel: Up, Stop and Down. Those were the good old days of paranoid international relations when we weren't the only big boy on the block...remember?

The Space Shuttle was my generations to claim. Ronald Reagan, The Gap and the Space Shuttle...now two of the three are gone...mere pages in the history books.

I'm going to need a minute here...

I'll take the easily lobbed, softball questions thrown from my girls...anytime!

2011-07-18T16:44:00.003-04:00

Last week, I was on vacation with the family. We decided to go off the beaten path this year and rent a house at Holden Beach, North Carolina on the recommendation of some friends at church.

Great recommendation!

Myrtle Beach seems to be the vacation-Mecca for most of the Southeast. It's busy, loud and packed this time of year. All the things Holden Beach is not. At just around 45 minutes north of Myrtle, all the bells and whistles are available to you in a short drive if you like. We took the trip a couple of evenings, and I would have been perfectly content staying north.

Like most people, vacation is time I use to unwind, recharge and spend uninterrupted time with the family. If I want excitement and round-the-clock festivities...I'll go back to Vegas.

After we settled in on Sunday, the rest of the week followed a workable, enjoyable routine. I was usually the first one up around 7 am, so I would take the necessary logistics to support our crew of 10 to the beach early and set up. Loved it. Setting up early wasn't necessarily a requirement because the gorgeous beaches were never crowded. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the solitude and time for reflection sitting alone on the beach with just my thoughts and prayers.

Something my beloved Crazy Tomato said early in the trip stuck with me all week. Looking out at the ocean one day, she states "You mean God made all this for us?!" Her enthusiasm was both genuine and refreshing, as is the case with most three-year olds. I thought deeply on her comment the next morning after setting things up and taking my customary seat alone looking out at the Atlantic. Majestic is a word thrown around far too loosely in our language. Many things are awesome, fewer are splendid and even still fewer are magnificent...in the proper use of the words. But majestic should be an adjective reserved for those very special, very rare encounters in life that only the presence of God Himself could supplant in scope and scale.

Oceans fit that bill in my mind. Maybe the mountains where I live have the same sense of inspirational awe to people who live at the beach or in the plains of the Great Midwest. Just guessing I suppose. Having been in the middle of two of our vast planet's oceans while aboard deceptively large yet unassumingly insignificant ships, it becomes even more apparent just how majestic God's earthly ponds truly are in comparison to other matters we often find that are larger than words can describe.

Oceans, mountain ranges, sunrises/sunsets and even rainbows are all just regular reminders of the lunacy instilled in the theories of random chance being the creator of the universe we occupy. Sheer lunacy. While science forges arrogantly forward in the futile attempt to create life outside the realm of natural order, I find great comfort holding to a faith that still makes far more logical sense than assuming our kind is as good as it gets...and even still one day will forever vanish from all recordings and echos of a place in time we call history into oblivion. Just pure lunacy.

I just don't think vacation would be enjoyable holding to such a hopeless belief...no matter how sparse people were at the beach.

Yes my little Crazy Tomato...He made it ALL for us. That's just how much He loves us.

Wait...it's not even close to the sappy Christmas season!

2011-07-11T07:29:00.000-04:00

Once in a blue moon, you see a story that makes you believe we're going to be just fine...

Here's a breaking news flash, it seems everything coming from the media these days is all gloom and doom. I'm not sure what it is about our society, our very cultural, that leads us to thirst for the negative. Don't even act like you are shocked and appalled by that characterization either.

I consider myself a very optimistic person...and even I'm guilty of the very thing!

Several years ago, I started filtering the sources of my information intake. Even that's very dangerous. Historically, I've been a proponent of the print media, but that has changed. As a matter of fact, Mrs. Tony C and I collectively decided to stop buying the local newspaper during the scrubbing of media sources process. Just too much negative, inaccurate garbage. The once honored and necessary art of investigative reporting has been dead and buried for several decades.

So why am I so upbeat today? Well, despite my media diet, I don't live in a bubble and still maintain tabs on the world we live. Last week out of New York came a story that was a shining beacon of wholesomeness in the dark pit of greed and corruption that seems to dominate many of today's headlines. Derek Jeter joined an elite club in baseball with his 3000th career hit. Only 27 other Major League ballplayers can claim that feat in the sport's long and storied history. Like a script right out of movie, the hit was also a home run...and so the mad scramble ensued for a piece of history in the left field bleachers of Yankee stadium.

Baseball memorabilia is big business. Jeter's historic ball projected to pay big. Maybe as high as $250K. Life-long Yankee fan Christian Lopez was the one standing with ball in hand when the scrum was over. He had in essence won the lottery. The big payola we all dream about.

The media was quick to arrive and question Lopez. What are you going to do with the ball now? Lopez was in the midst of his 15-minutes of Warhol fame. I'm sure the words that came out of his mouth next vastly deflated the frenzied media sharks because Lopez announced he was giving the ball back to Derek Jeter. He reasoned Jeter had worked a career for the milestone, and he had done nothing more than been there to witness. Lopez only requested, not demanded, that he be allowed to hand the ball back to the man who had hit the historic homer.

Gasp...

That's not a story! Where's the greed, the barter, lawsuits, the ruined life, or at least some profanity!!

I wouldn't be completely honest if I didn't admit even I waited for more. But that's how the story ends...well...almost. The Yankee faithful cheered and saluted Lopez in the 8th inning when he announced he was giving the ball back to Jeter on the stadium video board. Lopez was an instant hero in the eyes of many worldwide (with the major exception being the greater-Boston area where any Yankee news is bad news). But the Yankees didn't let the moment go unheralded, and Lopez was showered with a number of gifts from the club including primo-luxury seats for the rest of the season.

I like to believe...want to believe...that Christian Lopez is the epitome of most human beings, and the overload of dirty laundry we're saturated with daily are stories about the vast minority of our kind. Sure. We're all capable of less-than-honorable actions, but when the chips are down, when the spotlight is on a person's true character for often but a fleeting moment...I like to think most people would shine bright like Christian Lopez and take the honorable path. We too would just give the ball back with no thought of personal reward.

After all, that's the path that pays far more importantly over the haul of eternity.

God bless America...land of the hot dog eating champion!

2011-07-05T12:47:00.001-04:00

Nothing says Happy Birthday America quite like watching Joey Chestnut shove 62 hot dogs in his face...

That's 62 complete Nathan's hot dogs- wieners and buns. Condiments were optional I'm guessing. The annual contest sponsored by Nathan's has become a Fourth of July weekend staple covered by the national media. You can even catch the highlights on ESPN SportsCenter while catching up on the weekends baseball scores. Ironic isn't it?

In a country where child obesity has become a national epidemic to the point that the younger generation is expected to have a shorter life expectancy than their parent's generation, we celebrate the accomplishment of a man shoving over 5 dozen hot dogs in his mouth in 10 minutes...and keeps them down. That's over 14,000 calories at one time.

But wait...there's more! This year, the contest was expanded to include a women's division where the victor consumed 40 complete hot dogs in the same 10 minute period. China entered 3 competitive eaters for the first time also in this year's contest. Wonder how that goes over with all those 'starving people in China' my mom was always using to get me to eat my vegetables as a kid?

But wait...this gets better! The annual hot dog eating event is actually sanctioned and governed by the Major League Eating franchise which, by the way, has officially banned former champion Takeru Kobayashi (aka Kobi) of Japan from the contest for failure to comply with contracting requirements. So how did Kobi respond? He held his own simultaneous eating exhibition on top of a Manhattan high-rise, which was also media covered, where he consumed 69 complete hot dogs in 10 minutes to break the previous record of 68 set by now five-time champion Chestnut.

Naturally, the record is completely unofficial though because it wasn't sanctioned by the MLE. (eye roll)

Granted, I may be a little bitter about all this hoopla over a blatant gluttonous display given I've been pretty serious about personal diet changes in my own life of late. Heck...I loved Nathan's hot dogs! If you noticed the past tense used in that sentence, that's not necessarily due to said diet changes in place either. No. I caught an episode of How It's Made not long ago where making hot dog wieners was featured. I've never looked at one with the same appeal since...

Still, I just don't think our country's unofficial motto of American as baseball, hot dogs and apple pie would have sold very many Chevrolets in the famous 1975 ad campaign if the list had been baseball, turkey wieners and apple wedges. But that's just me, and I love America (although I drive a Mazda)!

Did I mention ESPN is owned by the Walt Disney Company, and Pepto Bismol is a major sponsor of the MLE?

You just can't make this stuff up folks...you just can't!

Time sure does fly when you're Livin' la Vida Loca...

2011-07-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

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Did I just miss an entire month?!

As impossible as it might seem, the month of June 2011 is gone. I'm both very sad and perplexed by that fact. I'm sad because June is my favorite of the twelve months in the Gregorian calendar. What's not to like about June? No...it's not just because the anniversary of my birth is celebrated in June either. My grandmother's birthday is in June (she's seen 97 of them so far). Father's Day is in June, and I love both my dad and being a dad myself. My father-in-law's birthday is in June too. He's not that much older than me, but I'm sure he's reminded of that in the three day period between our birthdays. Well, that and the true moral of the story of what can happen when you haze underclassmen in high school...they might grow up and eventually marry your daughter! Doh!

The longest day of the year is in June. Okay. Before some wiseguy points out that all days are actually 24 hours in length, let me qualify that by stating the longest day of daylight for this particular region of the globe is in June. Sounds like something I'd comment on a David Johndrow blog post.

What a wonderful month.. June. What a wonderful word! A' la Benjamin Bufort Blue (aka Bubba from Forrest Gump)...there's June bugs which were always fun to fly on a string as a kid, June Carter, Juneberry Trees, Juneau Alaska, June apples (just don't eat too many of these or you end up with the June apple splatters- which is not a good June word, trust me), Miss June 1985....sorry, scratch that one, the word jejune which I've used for big points in Words with Friends (and pretty much describes this post), and if you really stretch your imagination, Journey. Come on! Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' fame...not the motivation poster word.

But, I've never been one to live in the past, so goodbye June and hello July.! Hey...July is a pretty awesome month. Blackberries, ripe home-grown tomatoes, America's birthday, vacation, fireworks, the best time for watermelons, Miss Jul...oh, let's skip that one too.

Have a great Fourth of July weekend everyone! Because I care, here's an awesome video clip from Mrs. Tony C's favorite movie just to kick off the holiday weekend...

I might just be in the wrong line of work...

2011-06-23T12:43:00.003-04:00

I was watching TV last night when an ad for the Christian dating site, Christian Mingle, aired. Sure. I've seen these ads from time to time without much thought, but what intrigued me last night was the ad was actually on The Science Channel. Not GodTV, TBN or the Osteen Channel (if there is such a thing).

So I'm sitting there watching Morgan Freeman* spew some nonsense about the fabric of time and how one day soon humans will be zipping around the universe by ripping holes in this fabric and doubling back something another when I suddenly see this commercial showing single Christians running around on the beach looking for love.

Perplexing.

My guess is all of the atheist/agnostic types watching and hanging on every word of Freeman were pretty ticked. How dare they interrupt the very proof that I am not in fact delusional?! This stuff is science! Whatever Thomas Dolby.

(Side bar: I find it ironic that the very actor who played the role of the Almighty so elegantly in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty is selling this crap...but that's just me.)

Now the fact that an ad showing single Christians (or actors playing such) frolicking around and having a good time might actually irritate an atheist brought a smile to me face. No. I know that's not very WWJD. I'm working on it.

The commercial made me realize that, as a whole, Christians don't do a lot of advertising for our faith. Why? Are we worried about being politically correct or sensitive? Bah! Nonsense. Are we falling into some type of kumbaya let's all coexist mentality? Don't even get me started on that...again. Actually, I think we've, Christians that is, just become complacent and lazy. Commercial advertising is a powerful force in our society. How else can you explain the commercial success of all that junk Ronco sold for years? Pocket Fishman and Veg-O-Matic...come on!

I started thinking about targeted venues that would be perfect for Christian advertisements on just how wonderful a relationship with Jesus can actually be and the overall awesomeness of God, creator of all things. Since we don't won't the proverbial preaching to the choir scenario, the intended audience would need to be mostly comprised of non-believers, backsliders and the theologically confused. Here's just a few possibilities...

1. Popular beach destinations. No brainer. Practically the Sodom and Gomorrah's of modern days. People are half naked, all those pineapple filled drinks with the little umbrellas, and the misconception that God doesn't like hot weather. Nothing would remind people faster that God doesn't take vacations, He's still everywhere than looking up and seeing that messaged being pulled behind an airplane while you're sunbathing. Brilliant!

2. The Disney Channel/Cartoon Network. Look at the success the tobacco industry has had getting customers started young. They've build lifetime loyalty. Albeit often shortened lifetimes, but hey...a sale's a sale...get it while you can. There's potential here for a two birds, one stone kill too. Maybe the kids will take hold of the message and minister to the very parents who neglect them by allowing them to watch too much television. Brilliant!

3. NASCAR. Whoa Nelly... wait, wrong sport...Boogity Boogity, Boogity! While Darrell Waltrip is famous for those words, he's also very outspoken about his Christian faith. NASCAR has a number of pious participants I'm glad to say, so why doesn't the Church (notice the capitalization please) sponsor a car? I can't think of a more cost effective means of advertising our faith than putting the message on a stock car going around in a circle in front of a captivated, often intoxicated, crowd of 100K plus...not to mention the millions of TV viewers. Now that's...Brilliant!

That just scratches the surface of the numerous opportunities ripe for the Christian advertising taking. Have an idea? Be sure to leave it in the comments section. I'll make sure you get credit when your idea becomes the next "Where's the beef?!" success story. Hey...it's the WWJD thing to do.

*I confess to watching these type of shows so I can heckle and berate them out loud. I just didn't want you to think I was strange or something.

Everybody have fun tonight...everybody Wang Chung tonight!

2011-06-15T07:00:00.001-04:00

To all the people who are losing money today...I'm sorry...again.

I know a lot of people never thought yours truly would reach this many trips around the sun above ground, and I hate to disappoint. Okay. Not really.

Thanks to a drastic change in lifestyle a decade or so ago, the Big Guy apparently has given me a new lease on life. While it's very much still a work in progress, I'm very appreciative every June 15th for another year of opportunities to serve Him.

Birthdays take on a completely different semblance when you reach a certain age, and that point is definitely well in my rear view mirror. The annual celebration of my arrival into this world is marked personally by a day or so of inner reflection. No so much on a grand scale...more of a year in review type reflection. Since Tony C Today is sort of an intimate recording of what's going on in my life at any particular moment in that year, I went back and looked at post since last June 15.

Not very telling...

Or is it? The major event for me in the past year was certainly the addition of my little Eden Blakely. Her first cry was on December 2 which was ironically the day after my mother's birthday. I'm very blessed to have them both in my life. As a matter of fact, I'm very blessed to be surrounded by a number of females most every day. There's also my soul mate and best friend Mrs. Tony C, the Teenager and Crazy Tomato at home; my sister, mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law; that nutty bunch at church on the Praise Team I get to spend several hours a week with in fellowship and service; my favorite co-worker across the hall that makes my workday always a little brighter; the young ladies in my Sunday School class that I lift in prayer daily (that includes the ones there every week and the ones, well, not); and I can't forget my female blogging/social media buddies.

I don't mean to slight my male friends that are just as dear to me...I'm just not feeling very gay today.

I left my grandmother out for a reason because she gets special notice. My beautiful grandmother turned 97 less than two weeks ago. God bless her. She's as feisty as ever and still gets around great. I hope that gene made it into my pool...

Sometimes I wonder if I'd really like to make it to be 99 years old. Notice I said wonder and not worry. Only God knows the appointed time He will call me Home. I very much look forward to that reunion. Not because I want to leave all the blessings in my life behind. No. That's just not the reason at all. It's not even to leave all the troubles of this life behind. Living life is meant to build a strong character as we are told in the Book of James. As our character matures through the troubles and trials of this life...we better understand and appreciate the hope found only in our Father.

If He leaves me here to celebrate number 99, my prayer is He leaves my love with me, so we can celebrate 60 years of marriage together here before Eternity. I know we'll spend that time in service and appreciation of Him.

My hope is that your next birthday is as blessed as mine is today...

Actually, I don't even own a pair of overalls...

2011-06-13T11:51:00.002-04:00

An early inspiration for Tony C Today.

I've been known to poke a little fun at my own southern culture from time to time on this blog...

Yes. It's true. Now that doesn't mean I'm not proud to be from the South, or God's country as we like to refer to it here. Having lived a number of different places outside the South in my life, I completely understand why people from other parts of the country are moving here in droves. What does surprise me though is the apparent disappointment that occurs when carperbag...I'm mean people not from the South arrive and find it's not what they completely expected.

Let me elaborate please...

While it's true people in the South are overall generally resistant to change, we do actually have electricity and running water in our homes. Shocking to some...I'm sure. We actually graduated from the wood-stove heated log cabin some years back (although we keep a few around for purely historical reference and as hunting lodges), and the outhouse is a distant memory. Southerners now commonly use the porcelain throne like most other Americans...though if we're outside, we still often pee in the backyard so not to track dirt in on the rug going in the house. Makes perfect sense to us.

Not only do we have shopping malls, they actually contain stores like Gap, Abercrombie and Pottery Barn. Granted Sears and J.C. Penney's are usually mall anchors, but we don't just go there for the catalog anymore. Wait...that's my second outhouse reference in only my second overall point. Oh well. Bathroom humor is funny wherever you live...except maybe Antarctica.

Southerners think much faster than we talk. Is that such a bad thing? We also coined the phrase shoot first and ask questions later...so don't say you haven't been warned.

Not everyone from the South listens to Elvis music and goes to a Baptist church. Okay. So maybe I do both, but I have plenty of Episcopalian friends that listen to Coldplay...or what's his name...Usher! No. We're typically not very good liars either, because living here is hot enough...and hell is rumored to much hotter!

That's just a few of the stereotypical ideas people who move to the South are often disappointed or even confused not to find when they arrive...explaining why we're often now referred to as the Newer South.

Just a quick history review, the New South was post Civil War...the Newer South is post Hee Haw.

By the way, hee haw is onomatopoeia for the sound a donkey makes, but very few people actually own farm animals of any kind here...although my cousin does own a llama. Bet now I've really blown your mind...

A picture is worth far fewer words today...due to inflation of course.

2011-06-06T10:53:00.001-04:00

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Americans are really mad...at just about everything you can imagine too.

A recent Newsweek/Daily Beast survey found people are aggravated on everything from the current debt crisis to even the Almighty. They're mad about the governments ineptitude to basically do anything, the economy as a whole, Democrats, Republicans. gas prices, big corporations, rich people, their marriages and even their sex lives. God only got a 33 percent approval rating! God Almighty!?

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know I'm a survey junky. While I don't necessarily subscribe to the all-telling, truistic, finiteness of practically any survey result I take in, surveys are a good quick snapshot of any given moment/mood.

I look at surveys the same way I look at photos. Take this one above for instance. That's a specific moment in a time captured after an evening church service when the Crazy Tomato: 1. hadn't warmed up yet to the person taking the picture, 2. was tired from a rather long day, and 3. was also mad because I wouldn't let her go pound on the drums while a group of people were talking in the sanctuary.

Does that make her necessarily a hateful child in general? Not at all. Sure, she has her moments...but then again...don't we all.

Surveys are along the same lines. Taking a quick look at the temperament of a cross-section of society at any given moment in time could result in wild deviations in the results across a broader time fame. Now before some egghead starts berating me about the scientific reliability of properly conducted surveys, let me state for the record I've had several classes on probability and statistics. While I generally hated the classes, I did pay attention. My problem with the black and whiteness of survey results is the human factor can never truly be figured into them.

Example: You are arguing with your beloved over whose responsibility it is to put a new trash bag back in the can after it is emptied. Sure, logic would dictate the person taking the full bag out, but she's standing right there! So down the steps you go taking the trash out, when the phone rings:

Hypothetical Spouse: (answering phone) Hello.

XYZ Surveyor: Good afternoon mame. I'm conducting a survey for XYZ that will take just a moment. May I ask you a few short questions?

Hypo Spouse (still standing by the emptied, bag less trash can): Sure. Why not.

XYZ Surveyor: Thank you. Are you employed, yes or no?

Mrs. Ton...Hypothetical Spouse: Work like a dog trying to keep this house going. Think he appreciates what I do all day from begin to bedtime? The man never picks up his own clothes, so you can forget about helping with the kid's stuff. It never stops around here. Pick up this and clean off that all day long...he thinks taking the trash out on occasion is some monumental achievement! Does he think clean clothes just appear in his closet? I can tell you this, it would take Jesus Himself telling me to put a bag back in that can before I'll do it...that's right...I said that...Jesus Himself.

XYZ Surveyor: Okay. I'll mark yes. Thank you mame for your time. (hang up)

Hypothetical Spouse: That's it?! What a dumb survey. Stupid. Dumb.

My example isn't intended to make anyone in particular look hateful...just a snapshot in time remember. I just didn't have an actual picture to correctly depict that particular moment.

Have I mentioned the Crazy Tomato looks a lot like her mom?

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I'm no Charlie Brown...well, at least in one way.

2011-06-02T15:38:00.001-04:00

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I've never once claimed to be the best looking guy in the world...

But, I've never felt a pressing need to 'bag it' either. My philosophy has always been life should be lived to the fullest while playing with the cards the Man upstairs deals you. It's somewhat of a mixed metaphor...but I've both heard and used much worse analogies I'm sure.

Being average is okay with me...when it comes to looks that is. Yes, that's a huge assumption on my part, but I'm pretty confident in my statement of tolerable guise based solely on the fact I have a smoking hot wife. Now, don't go trying to bust my bubble by throwing up some freak situations like Seal and Heidi Klum as a 'stranger things have happened' scenario. Despite not being able to publicly declare the fact (at least in her presence), there have been other attractive women that crossed the path of yours truly before Mrs. Tony C. (gasp)...please forget I said that...I beg of you!

You're probably thinking about right now that I'm having some type of self-esteem issue rear its ugly head creating an anxiety that I feel compelled to release by sharing with you. Sorry Dr. Phil...just ain't happenin'! People who truly know me are laughing about now because if there's any psychological disorder at work in my over-sized melon, the diagnoses would come closer to falling on the narcissistic side of the scale as opposed to any avoidance personality issues.

Confidence has never been an issue for me...a fact that has on occasions caused major problems in my life. But while I may not make the cover of People Magazine based solely on my swagger and my mug (and pray I never make it for any other reason), I'm not a complete moron either and capable of learning from all previously ego-driven problems that have occurred....including those that may have been driving related and cost me a lot of money in the end to fix (just knew my superior driving skills could overcome a little ice and an 18 percent grade...just knew it).

Let me just tell you how much my humility has grown...

A few weeks back my doctor decided, with (ahem) a little prodding from my spouse, that a sebaceous cyst needed to come off the back of my noggin. Apparently, all parties involved (excluding me) felt my rather bulbous head had reached maximum capacity for all but industrial-sized pillows and relief was the only plausible option.

Hey, I'm a tough guy. A little cutting and stitching never bothered me, so I show up one early morning to have the little marble-sized bugger removed. Let me state for the record, even the most egotistical jerks would be taken a bit aback by the gasp and whisper of 'oh my...' while having the back of your head examined. Of course, the nurse piping in with 'we have plenty more pillows if you need them' didn't help either.

But all's well that ends well as they say. With the exception of the most heinous of haircuts and sitting on the back pew at church a few weeks, I'm proud to once again be sporting a symmetrical hat rack.

Keep in mind, a block can be symmetric, and the fact now the bag can fit better too...just in case...

Whoa...that's one really bad haircut.

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Let's be sure we stay on the right'eous' side of this fight...

2011-05-26T17:39:00.004-04:00

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Wow...did our President step in it or what?

Granted, I'm not far-right radical enough to criticize everything coming from President Obama's mouth. I don't like his politics in a macro perspective, but I don't fall in line with the entertainer/demagogues of talk-radio and television that try to sell to us that the man is capable of absolutely nothing good.

I like to think that I would much rather err on the side of optimism than cynicism...but truth be told...I don't trust anyone in Washington. Is that contradictory?

Back to the President. Last week President Obama gave some disturbing sound bites about America's friend and ally, Israel. Naturally, the Limbaugh's of our pop cultured world ran with the golden nugget offered up by their great adversary. This initially resulted in two distinct things...oddly enough (eye roll). The against-at-all-cost bunched yelled loudly with an OMG can he be serious! I knew he was a Muslim!

The defend-at-all-cost bunch started bobbing and weaving in an immediate rope-a-dope (alert-unintentional pun) defensive maneuver and immediately broke the glass on the emergency Conspiracy Theory case to help put out the fires.

Blah-blah-blah, yada-yada-yada the professional spin-masters worked their magic on both sides of the spectrum...and most of America apathetically shook their heads in perplexity once again. Thanks but no thanks Rush and Keith...I got this one.

So what makes this latest issue different from the forty-thousand previous ones in just last week alone? Read your Bible brothers and sisters...matters of Israel are very important to you know Who. Israel is much more to the world than a few ever-changing lines on a map. Christians should know that. ALL Christians should know that Mr. President.

I'm not going into a lesson on the biblical importance of Israel today. The information is too easily available with a quick internet search. But the fate of Israel is far beyond the abilities of men to alter. God's hand is directly upon the Nation of Israel, and their fate was predestined in a promise of prophesy long before the events that unfolded last century.

Ronald Reagan was the last U.S. President to fully understand the importance of Israel in the bigger picture outside of politics.

“The safety and security of the United States and the safety and
security of Israel are all part of a larger cause: the cause of human
rights for every man, woman, and child on this Earth.”

-- Ronald Reagan, remarks at White House Briefing on United States foreign policy, March 15, 1988

Excuse me please...I'm a little chocked up at the moment...

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But Buddha just seems so happy being fat...

2011-05-23T13:28:00.001-04:00

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There's been a lot of changes around the homestead...

Although I publicly vowed to put forth my best effort to lose weight after the birth of Baby C, my plan was a little side tracked by the holiday season...you know, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, Day Light Saving Time, St. Patrick's Day, and of course, Easter. It's truly a killer stretch for all of us weight conscience people.

Then the moment of reckoning finally came (yep, I ran out of excuses), and I knew it was time to get serious about that promise. What also didn't help my case was an interwoven visit to the doctor during this time frame that came with a couple of eye-opening revelations. Once Mrs. Tony C got the news...Bob Dylan was added to my iTunes because The Times They Are a-Changin'.

Being forty-something and trying to lose weight is...I'm convinced...of the devil. As I stated in my early referenced blog post, I wasn't a big eater from the start. After a little self-analysis, Mrs. Tony C told me the sodas had to go (isn't that the way self-analysis works in your home?). Truth be told, I probably drank close to half of my caloric intake daily. Making matters worse was my poison of choice, the coup de grace of my dietary need for change, the comfort food of all comfort consumables for yours truly...Mt. Dew.

Say it isn't so!

But alas it be true. I was addicted to the stuff like a junky to the heroin spoon convinced I couldn't get through a day without at least few dozen ounces of that sweet nectar. Throw on top of that my daily intake of the Southern classic take on sweet, iced tea, and I was practically a walking sugar cane...or corn stalk...or wherever all that bad stuff comes from in sweet drinks.

So out of our frig went all the sweet stuff (and ice cream from the freezer...tear) and in marched fruits and vegetables I'd never heard tell of before...much less eaten. Mrs. Tony C has been full-speed ahead and, I must admit, looking incredibly good...curse her and her twenty-something year old metabolism. She goes on and on about a Zumba class she recently joined so much I feel like I'm getting residual cardio effects from all the banter. She's been encouraging me to go with her, but I'm not sure our home-owners or umbrella insurance policy covers any damages or injuries I might cause jumping around in a crowded room full of delicate, and much smaller, females...

I decided (see conditions of self-analysis above) to actually implement life-style changes and let the results come as they may over time. As tempting as the immediate results I've seen on others are, I'm steering clear of the diet fads...especially the latest craze over taking HCG, the female pregnancy hormone.

Looking pregnant is bad enough. I'm just saying stranger things have happened.

To be continued as the year progresses...

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And now a break from tomfoolery for some serious stupidity...

2011-05-19T10:37:00.002-04:00

So our federal government has once again reached the mandated debt ceiling that was established...by the federal government.

Interesting...and irritating all at the same time.

Surprisingly, this threshold isn't a rare occurrence as one might think. As a matter of fact as a nation, we've been here over 70 times before this last one. During that time, Democrats have controlled both Houses and the While House, Republicans have controlled both Houses and the White House, and ever other mix in between the two scenarios.

In each case, up went the debt ceiling as if we were living in some utopian society where the GDP always grows at double digit rates and it never rains on Saturday.

So, why is it such a big issue all of a sudden? (must be Obama's fault)

Well, the answer to that $14 trillion question is because the debt itself is so huge relative to GDP. We're on the verge of that famous 90%-100% debt-to-GDP ratio where many believe a sovereign debt crisis is inevitable (see Greece and Ireland).

A vote that used to be treated as lackadaisical is now the subject of massive nervousness in Washington. Why now you say again? Because Americans are finally paying attention to the math and know if borrowing into bankruptcy is possible on a personal level...(i.e. your debt ceiling exceeds your ability to pay said debt) it's sure got to be possible on a national one too.

The time has come and gone to discuss and debate how we got to this point in our fiscal house. Such reflection may be important at some point in the future to ensure we don't repeat the mess we find ourselves in today, but right now we need bipartisan action on a major scale.

Sure massive cuts in our federal budget are going to hurt. Nobody denies that...well...no rational person denies that fact. But so much is broken in our current system of federal spending that only by making deep cuts can real changes be made to fix the system. Necessary chances. We've got to get our fiscal house in order and radical changes through spending cuts is the only feasible, viable option.

Take a second and think about the ridiculous circumstances involving waste and abuse of tax dollars that you personally are aware of involving our federal and state governments (yes, states have a claim in this also as a distributing arm of some federal government programs). Let me give you only two of the many from my list:

Just this past week, I was talking to a friend about a situation he was personally familiar with involving government entitlements. A lady living near him was trying to sell her monthly food stamps to his wife below their face value. The mother of two receives $500 a month in food stamps, but was willing to accept half for the current and following two months ($1500 for $750). Seems she had taken her federal income tax return (based solely on federal entitlements) of a little over $5000 and, among other useless things, put a down payment on a big SUV at a local Buy Here, Pay Here auto dealer. When she missed a payment, they came and got the vehicle. Now she needed several hundred dollars to get the vehicle back, oh...and get her cell phone turned back on too.

Did I mention she doesn't work and lives with her mom? Didn't mean to leave that out. She doesn't work yet receives thousands of dollars in government hand outs from our tax dollars. Makes you wonder how her kids eat. My friend's wife didn't bite on the offer by the way.

This next one is a little more risky for me to share. I work for a DoD contractor, and we sell 'widgets' directly to a number of military bases worldwide. In all honesty, our company works very hard at providing excellent pricing not just out of good stewardship but also because we are in open competition with other DoD suppliers. The problem occurs when particular 'widgets' we could sell directly to a base are systematically divided up into block contracts for large conglomerate contractors (read- who pay lobbyist), who in turn bid the 'widgets' out to other subcontractors (including us) and then often award the bids to a contractor under a special government designator (i.e. female/minority owned company, disabled vet, etc.), who then in turn buys the 'widgets' from a distributor...you guessed it...us. So something that could have been purchased by the end user at a distribution level price directly from us originally (as is often the case) is marked up not only once more by the block contractor, but again by the third different subcontractor involved as the procurement moves through the often lunatic workings of the military industrial complex on its way to the end user.

If only I were making this stuff up...

Only in an environment of unchecked funding can such absurdities exist and grow. As the debate continues to roar on about raising our national debt ceiling, take a moment and examine similar situations you personally know about like the two I've shared. Maybe one is as drastic as this situation reported just yesterday in news sources where a lottery winner of millions receives food stamps. Now multiple those cases several million times, and it's easy to see how we've gotten to where our country needs to borrow more than $14 trillion dollars just to pay the outstanding bills.

It all starts at home with anyone and everyone as crazy mad about this as I am picking up the phone or dropping a line to their elected representative, Republicans and/or Democrats, and demanding the political games stop now and necessary action be taken immediately. Yes Mr. Politician, the American public does realize there's an important election just next year. The real question is- do you?

Raise the debt ceiling to avoid a devastating default, this one last time, then balance the national budget and lock that in with a Constitutional Amendment...period.

Like Mick...I just can't get no satisfaction.

2011-05-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

One of the first things you hear after 'congratulations' from people upon the arrival of a new edition to the family are the jabs about the oncoming sleep deprivation for mom and dad.. If you have kids...you know where I'm coming from on this too. With the last installment to the Tony C clan, I knew exactly what Mrs. Tony C and I were facing, and honestly, I dreaded dealing with a sleep deprived mom worse than a nocturnal baby.*

While my wife can generally be described in terms equivalent to Joshua Deets of Lonesome Dove fame (CHERFUL IN ALL WEATHERS, NEVER SHERKED A TASK. SPLENDID BEHAVIOUR), she takes on a completely different persona with the absence of seven or so uninterrupted hours of snoozing.

The Crazy Tomato was a bit challenging as a baby with a number of all night squalls. As she got to the toddler stage, the major strategy for long rest periods was to keep an ample supply of me's (her name for pacifiers) in her crib within reach. She would often pull out one and put in another...repeating the process through the entire inventory as if she were at a wine-tasting seminar. But hey, she wasn't crying...so mission accomplished in my book.

Our latest addition has been, to this point, dubiously surprising. As she quickly approaches the 6-month mark, she most always goes the distance through the night (thank you Jesus!). In fear of some karmic reprisal...I going to leave it at that for now.

So, all three girls have their own room in our home that is uniquely their own space. The teenager couldn't move downstairs fast enough, and after a few 'security precautions' on all the ground level windows, we gleefully obliged her request. She's happy if we just toss food down the steps occasionally and pretty much stay out of the way of her hopelessly dramatic life as a high school freshman. (eye roll)

The Crazy Tomato has her own room complete with labelling wall adornment...

As does the new addition I affectionately refer to as The Bulldog (drool related)...

All in all... a situation difficult to really complain about given the fact all the necessary ingredients are in place for complete and utter, Armageddon-style chaos. However, and I really do hate to complain...please believe me... would it be too much to ask, considering the great lengths we've gone to make sure everyone has their own personalized space in our home...would it really be too much to ask that I actually get to sleep in my own bedroom...in the same bed as my spouse?

That is, of course, asides from lying longways across the bottom of the bed? Hey...just because I can doesn't mean I really want to....just saying.

* Disclaimer: Please understand and I fully acknowledge that Mrs. Tony C is the primary support, both day and night, for all youngsters in our home. By primary, I mean 98 percent of the time or better.

(Best of Tony C Today) The one with the cute little umbrella straw please...

2011-05-12T15:50:00.000-04:00

I'm not a coffee drinker...

I'm not a coffee drinker. Never have been. But, I live with two females that love the stuff. We could debate if a 13 (soon to be 14) year old should be drinking coffee...but I won't go there. I accept the argument that a cup of coffee can't be any worse than a bottle of soda. Moving on...

So from time to time, I find myself at the local Starbucks, which might as well be eastern Slovenia for me. It's like a completely different world...a make-believe world where people speak a pseudo-foreign language and pretend to be high society...or hip...or something I'm apparently not. Now, I understand the Italian connection with the origin of many coffee drinks coming from Italy, and the implied chicness of the whole fiasco called Starbucks, but what I don't get is the absolutely ridiculous sounding process for ordering.

I'm not Italian-illiterate either. Besides the Learn A Language While You Drive cassette series I played for months before an Italy trip that fell apart the day prior to departure, the Sopranos were a weekly ritual at my house (God forgive me). I know Italian...well...some Italian. I know latte is Italian for milk, I know grande means large. What I don't understand is why a grande iced vanilla latte at Starbucks isn't a large cup of milk with vanilla flavor. What gives?

So, this morning I find myself alone in the drive-thru at Starbucks filled with anxiety. Since I love my wife more than any earthly thing, I'm doing this for her. For me... it's virgin territory. I refuse to order when we all go together, making my wife or the teenager do the honors...and..always making fun of the process. I want a frappa mocha latte venti or some other ridiculously sounding fictional concoction. But here I am...ready to order.

Speaker: Welcome to Starbucks. Would you like to try one of our fancy smancy new sandwiches?

I'm frozen. What did she say she wanted?

Tony C: Just a minute please.

Speaker: (Sarcastically) Take your time and order when you're ready.

Now, I'm sure the seven hundred and twenty cars behind me want just that...me to take my time. I glance over the menu board looking for some type of trigger word...but it's all so...foreign.

Uh, uh mocha, latte, venti, frappachino, cappachino...before I even realized, I say...out loud into the speaker...

Tony C: Frappa mocha latte...uh

Speaker: (Again with the sarcasm) Excuse me sir?!

Nothing would do my heart more good than to break into a speaker rant over why Starbucks had to stop selling the black and white cookie...it's all I ever liked there! But I have loved ones waiting in the balance on me performing this simple task.

Text message! Thank you Jesus! She sent what she wanted in a text message! A few quick clicks...

Tony C: I'll take a iced vanilla latte venti please. Not a perfect delivery...wrong indefinite article grammatically...but hey...I'm a rookie.

Speaker: That will be $4.33. Thank you pull forward.

$4.33! For a cup of coffee! I'm I picking this up IN Italy? That's an entire #1 Value Breakfast Meal WITH a large iced tea at Mickie D's.

As I'm pulling forward, I notice the 'Coexist' bumper sticker on the BMW in front of me...nice...this is now the company I keep...very nice.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks...if he just refuses to play.

2011-05-09T11:24:00.001-04:00

Okay...I'm not THAT old!

I consider myself quasi tech-savvy. Since the PC became commonplace in American homes, I've been through my fair share of desktops and laptops. Now that the smartphone has become the wave to catch in the geekster waterways, I'm on board there too...well...sort of.

Smartphones are a phenomenal piece of technology and really a misnomer. Instead of a phone that can do other things, they are essentially a portable computer that you can just happen to make calls on too. They're the Swiss Army Knife of multimedia tools. From a small box, you can watch TV, send messages a number of ways, browse the internet, and find an application program (app) for virtually everything to make life easier...and many you could certainly do without (i.e. that cursed Angry Birds app).

I first jumped in with a Blackberry several years ago and was quickly sold on how the mobile device made my work life easier. In my job, I deal with military bases literally all over the world, so somewhere someone is in their office at any given hour of my 24 hour day. Instead of checking my laptop several times a night when not at the office or waiting until the start of my next work day to address a plethora of accumulated issues, the smartphone allowed me to instantly respond to a customer's needs taking just a minute of my time. Almost immediately, I started receiving comments from customers in East Asia wondering if I ever slept! There was an issue with Mrs. Tony C at first, but she pretty much knew what she was signing up for from the start with me, and she also knew that the smartphone made my work day a lot less stressful...or at least a concentrated stress. You know...the kind that kills you.

I loved my Blackberry. Loved it. For over two years, I carried the exact same phone with virtually no problems. A small little box that just simply sneered at the once coup de grace of all communication device fantasies, Captain Kirk's communicator (duh), had made me master of my domain. I was king of the world (a la Leonardo DiCaprio/Titanic).

Apple just couldn't appreciate my euphoria.

Along comes the iPhone (said mockingly, I assure you). Every one's got to have an iPhone. iPhones are so cool. iPhones are so much better. An iPhone saved my brother's life. Well, I bravely resisted the spontaneity of standing in line for seven days to be the first to lay hands on an iPhone. Really, how much better could they be? I was king of the world and feeling unbeatable at my game. However, Mrs. Tony C was a much different story. She dumped the 'gotta have' Blackberry...excuse me...the fifth different Blackberry device she was using to join the sheep...I mean masses.

Boy is that phone a lot of fun.

Still, I stood firm to the technology at hand...I mean in hand...and kept on doing what I was doing. Don't fix something that isn't broken I was always told. My customers were happy, my boss was happy and I was completely comfortable not being on the leading edge. It all boiled down to me being, well, stubborn actually.

April 30, 2011 is the day my Blackberry died. I still get a little choked up about it and even keep the darkened shell in my desk drawer as a reminder of where I've been and how far I've come. Literally years (okay two) of mastering my domain...dead. What was I too do? That's where the antagonist of this story comes to play. No, not Steve Jobs. Not Mrs. Tony C, Keith S or even iPhone poster child Josh R. The culprit and controller of all things technical in my little world (at least at work) is our IT Department Head, and he said just four words...you need Droid. Okay. It should have been four words, but his English has definitely improved since coming here from China several years ago.

The die was casted. No, not an iPhone, but might just as well been. After a little research, I decided on a Droid Pro. At the very least I could keep my chubby little fingers busy still on a Qwerty keyboard. Has there been some adjustments? Absolutely. Aside from 'oops wrong move' erasures of emails and contacts, missing the heck out of BB messenger, and also now gone rolling over at 2 am to see the 'new message' red light blinking, I'm a lot more conscience about sticking my finger in my nose or ear and winding up with what's known in the geek arena as touch screen residue.

I'm sure there's an app that deals with that...but it probably cost an arm and leg...or at least a finger.

My prayer today for the National Day of Prayer...

2011-05-05T12:13:00.000-04:00

Almighty God, thank you for the blessing of prayer. The opportunity to directly talk to You, our Creator, our Heavenly Father. My prayer today is one of thanksgiving, but also one of need. We have made our world a mess, and my country continues to turn away from You. Please Father forgive us and give me the strength to reflect Your love and mercy in my daily life so others may come to know and honor You and receive pardon from the sin that surrounds us each day through your grace and mercy. Please lead and guide our country's leaders to bring this country back to the God fearing nation we once were so that You might receive the honor and glory for all that is done, and the United States can once again be a light of hope for a lost and dying world.

Be with President Obama as he leads our nation. May his convictions always reflect You, and may he always seek Your counsel in every decision he makes. Watch over his family and protect them. Be with his advisers and counsel as they mold the laws and policies that govern our nation and ultimately affect our world. My prayer is that each of them also look to You for courage and wisdom. Be with our Congressional leaders and our Justices on the Supreme Court. May every decision made be mindful of Your commandments as established in Your Holy Word.

I pray Father that you will protect our service men and women. Bless them Lord for having the courage to fight and serve so that we can go about living our lives in freedom. Be with the families of those who are deployed abroad. Comfort and protect them in Your loving way.

Thank you for loving me and saving my soul. I'm not and never will be worthy of such amazing love...but I will be thankful to You each and every day. Please forgive me when I fail you and give me clarity to better understand Your will for my life. Father, thank you for my country and the blessings of living in a nation where I can worship and honor You in freedom. I pray for my brothers and sisters that don't have the opportunities to gather freely in Your name and face persecution for their faith in You. Bless and comfort them as only You can Father.

There is a great need among Your people Father and many have requested to be remembered in prayer. Please touch and bless each one according to Your perfect will. You know the needs of each as You know the number of hairs on every head. I lift their request up to You and thank You for allowing me to do so. I love You Abba Father and pray these things in the Holy name of Your Son and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen

You need to crack eggs for an omlet...not just be cracked holding an egg.

2011-05-02T15:23:00.000-04:00

The King James Bible is 400 years old today...

Arguably the most influential book translation in the history of mankind, the Authorized King James Version was first published on May 2, 1611 by Robert Barker, the King's Printer, after an exhaustive seven year effort by 37 scholars of the day. By the way, all of those scholars were members of the Church of England...for what it's worth.

The King James Version had a rough beginning because after the good King James (eye roll) commissioned the Hampton Court Conference to undertake the translating task, work was delayed several months due to an outbreak of that nasty thing called the plague back in post-Middle Ages Europe.

The Puritans were not very happy...about the plague or the church at the time.

But, that's what kicked off the whole endeavor from the start. As Jimmy the First (James I) was travelling to London to officially stake claim to his new headgear, the crafty Puritans hit him up early with an official list of complaints called the Millenary Petition. Seems they weren't very thrilled with the direction of the Church of England at the time because it was too closely resembling that other church headed up in Rome. Henry VIII had made it perfectly clear during his reign half a century earlier that the throne in England was not under papal authority, so he went and started his own church...sorta. Roman Catholic Cardinal Thomas Wolsey had made Henry mad because he wouldn't let him divorce his first wife, Queen Catherine. How dare he? Also, the ruler just prior to Jimmy was Elizabeth #1, and she had basically just put a temporary bandage on the Protestant-Catholic open wound to get her through until she handed the baton to someone else.

So, those crazy Tudors had stirred up a religious cage-match just before James was coming to power, and he needed to calm things down between the Puritans (who denied being separatist from the Church of England), the Anglo-Catholics and all the other confused subjects in between. Hey...they carried pitchforks too you know.

So exactly what didn't the Puritans find to their liking to go crying to Jimmy about in the first place?

Knowing James was an avid debater and a little insecure in his own place between Heaven and throne(see Basilikon Doron), the Puritans jumped on board early with a list of complaints about the Church of England that included women administering baptism, bowing when the name of Jesus was spoken, the word Absolution, and reserved buggy spots near the entrance to the churches for all priest. Okay. I made that last one up, but they didn't like the title Priest either...for real.

Long story short, Jimmy tried to make everyone happy with the Hampton Court Conference, and he succeeded for the most part mainly because he convinced the translators to be completely accurate in their translating and to take...their...time. When all was said and done, most of England and Scotland mourned the death of James in 1625. Although, the Protestants and Catholics are still bitterly divided in Ireland after 400 years. Some things I guess just can't be fixed with time.

From all of this mass confusion, we have the Authorized King James Version of the Holy Bible. It's a darn good thing the Holy Spirit of God was directing the whole process from start to finish... darn good thing.

Heaven got one of my favorite people today...

2011-04-28T15:15:00.003-04:00

Some people can make you laugh just reading the phonebook.

Paul Rector was one of those guys. Like most Christians when someone close passes, I'm filled with conflicting emotions today. While I celebrate in the eternal gift he accepted some years ago, I will selfishly miss so many things about my friend being here.

For several years, I just had to look directly across an aisle on Sunday mornings and nights along with Wednesday nights to see Paul sitting in his normal spot at church. Often when we dismissed church with a closing prayer while joining hands across the aisles, my hand would end up in his. He would make a joke about me standing on the pew, so I could reach his hand, and I would fire back with warnings of lustful thoughts during church services.

We had that type of relationship...and I loved it.

Part of the camaraderie we shared stemmed from being kindred spirits. Paul loved God very much, but God hadn't always been first in Paul's adult life. Paul loved music and had played in a number of bands. He loved to teach and speak on Biblical subjects and didn't often mince words. God blessed Paul, much like his namesake, with a tremendous testimony...and he wasn't afraid to share it with anyone either.

Like my friend Paul, I understand and appreciate the limitless boundaries of grace from a standpoint of someone who oft tested those limits. We had a number of great conversation just on that subject matter alone. When I was approached about teaching a Sunday School class, I called Paul for guidance because I knew he was a wonderful example. He was teaching the class I attended and had been nationally recognized for his efforts (great story here).

Over the past several years, diabetes robbed my friend of many things we take for granted. He lost his eye sight then much of his mobility. This is where it gets tough for me...

Paul never, ever let those things get him down. He continued to teach about and praise his Father through the storm. He would always send a whisper of encouragement my way as I would take my seat across from him after worship music had concluded. Great job little buddy. Hot drumming today. Way to wake these people up brother. He would always take time to talk to anyone about God's word even on his worst days.

My friend had a stroke a few months back that eventually took him Home. This morning as a matter of fact. He leaves behind a loving, tireless wife who has been a family anchor for so long, a son I'm honored to call my friend, and a daughter that completely adored him.

I will miss my friend. Not long ago, I thought of a way to make him laugh given the opportunity again. So Paul, from the bottom of my heart, this one's for you...

HOLY WEEK HIATUS

2011-04-16T23:17:00.001-04:00

In honor of the week leading up to Easter Sunday, I won't be posting on Tony C Today. May your week be blessed as we remember the most scared events in the history of mankind.

If Barry Bonds had just been wearing his Giants uniform during the trial...

2011-04-14T13:35:00.002-04:00

Somebody please cry me a river...

My view on political correctness is well documented on Tony C Today (see here, here, here, definitely here, here, here, here and oh yes, here). I think you get the point. While some of those post are worded with an elegance most assuredly plagiarized from a more astute intellect along the lines of...say...Mitch Albom, others are straight in your face from the gut of yours truly.

(Okay for the record, that last line was hyperbole...I never, ever plagiarize. Borrow from time to time from David Johndrow maybe but never plagiarize.)

Political correctness, or the fear thereof, has paralyzed our politicians, stifled our academia, and rained paranoia on our pulpits. Freedom of speech in our country is being held hostage by the tender feelings of a gender-confused, minority-born man named April who may or may not believe in a Supreme Being but is completely convinced his dog named Oprah communicates the plans of an imminent alien invasion with him telepathically...but only on Tuesday.

I'm sick of it. Just plain sick of it.

Yes just a few short weeks ago, someone was offended by my playful jab at both my own culture and a certain demographic of people not necessarily from the South..not that there's anything wrong with being from the North. God loves yanke...people from the North too. I understand He's a really, really big God. Please understand blasting me as a hypocrite on your Facebook page only helps increase my blog traffic...and I thank you. I'm not, however, going to be handcuffed and walk on eggshells for the sake of global self-esteem. I have opinions. I'm going to state them. Change the channel if you don't like it. There. Now I feel I've disclaimed enough to say what I came here to say today...

I hate the San Francisco Giants!

Wow. How liberating. So when I settled in this past Monday night to watch my beloved Dodgers begin taking the second season series from the evil Giants, I was both confused and stunned to witness the two teams gathered at the pitcher's mound holding hands and singing Kumbaya. What gives?!

Truly, I mean no disrespect to Bryan Stow, the Giants fan severely beaten in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium by a couple of common criminals, but this incident was a result of crime...not real hostilities between true fans of the Dodgers and Giants.

When I say I hate the Giants, that's not an actual indictment of malice for any individual player, coach or fan of the team. Cheering against a rival team is as much a part of being a sports fan as cheering for your own team. Not to mention in this age of free agency, someone might be the player beating you with the long-ball one season and batting clean-up for your team the next. Hating the Giants is just not a pointed, personal animosity...it's just not!

I detest what happened to Bryan Stow and hope they find the thugs and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. Having said that...let's please not overreact and start broad-stroke paint brushing white wash on the matter. Sports need rivalry, even resentment, to be what we've come to know and love. What we don't need is a kinder, more gentle MLB. Going to AT&T Park to hear Giant fans yell and hold up signs that say Be Well LA is preposterous and, quite frankly, very disturbing to me. Nothing gets my adrenaline pumping like the roar of Beat LA chanting, while Andre Either drills one into McCovey Cove to put the Boys in Blue up by two in the top of the ninth. That's why we watch. That's why we buy ridiculously priced tickets, sodas and hot dogs. It's not for the Matt Kemp bobblehead doll...trust me.

Giant fans hate the Dodgers too. It's one of sport's greatest rivalries moving from the uptight East coast to the tranquilized West. In over 128 years of baseball between the two teams, the series stands at 1089-1074-12...in favor of the stinking Giants for now. Both teams have won 18 pennants and 6 World Series each. Dodgers vs Giants is all that's great about the game of baseball.

So it's okay if we get back to a few of these each season and completely away from the pre-game hand holding...regardless of the circumstances. Fighting from time to time belongs in the game. Because most major league players make the game look effortless, fights reassure fans that players do have a competitive fire burning and the $80 ticket, $15 to park and $28 in ballpark food is well worth the price of admission...if you're lucking enough to be there when a fight breaks out.

Besides. It's not like any players ever really get hurt during fights...come on...they're baseball players!

To make a donation to a fund set up for a recovering Bryan Stow just click here. Get well and God bless brother!

I might not be too smart, but I could once move heavy objects...

2011-04-11T12:19:00.002-04:00

There was a time I thought lifting, pushing or squatting a lot of weight was just plain fun...

In college, I started competitive powerlifting my sophomore year. My last sanctioned meet, however, was a distant 1985 ago. After attending Officer Candidate School for the Marines between my junior and senior year, I went into that last match very light at 161 pounds...or 20 pounds below my normal competition weight. During the meet, I remembered exactly why I had previously packed on pounds to compete in a heavier class in prior years because I finished an embarrassing 8th to the more technically proficient lighter lifters.

I really didn't lift heavy much during my days in the Corps because an emphasis was placed on endurance and stamina. Carrying the extra muscle weight wasn't worth the trade off during long formation runs or keeping my 3-mile run time under 18 minutes on the Physical Fitness Test.

Right around age 30, I picked weight lifting back up again. It was here where I started getting into physical trouble because my ego just wouldn't let go of the used to factor. One routine day in the gym, a young whipper-snapper a decade younger scoffed and remarked I'd never be as strong as I once was because physically I was passed my prime. What?! That sounded like challenge time. Even though I had only been back to the grind at most 2 months, I told him that in another 30 days I could put up more weight than him in any lift he picked.

Bench press. Of course. The gold standard for dumbbell heads. Overall strength is much more accurately depicted in either squats or the dead lift, but the bench press was the How much do you...question of chose around the gym, and what he didn't know, my strongest event from previous competition days. So for the next 30 days, I trained. The event got blown way out of proportion leading up to lift day, and I very much resented the old versus young spin the contest came to represent. Who's old?!

Wasn't even close. Like any competitive event, the psychological factor can never be underestimated. We flipped a coin, and he lifted first starting a little above warm-up weight. Easy lift. I knew about where his max lift should be, and compensating some for adrenaline, I went straight to that weight. The shocked look on his face screamed to me check and mate as I made the lift look easy. Truth be known, I only had another 20 pounds at the most in me. He had to match my lift but was already physologically beaten thinking that was just my starting point and his target weight. He couldn't do it. You can insert the cliche about age and treachery here...

I couldn't sleep on either of my shoulders for quite some time after that.

Fast forward another few years when, for some dumb reason still unbenownst to any of us, four of my friends decided to have a dead lift contest one evening after the gym had closed. Three of us were over 33 and one was pushing 40...lifting...as much as we could. With due respect to Freud's psychic apparatus involving the id, ego and super-ego, some stunts are just plain stupid...and this one perfectly fits that category. Stupid. We should have all ended up in the hospital but were each too proud to be the one to breakdown and go lest the others find out. I watched an entire weekend of sports flat on my back stretched out on the floor in front of the television and barely made it to work the following Monday. I just hope none of them are reading this...

That was over 13 years ago. A period of time during which my motivation to lift heavy objects has greatly diminished. I tell you all of that just to make myself feel better before sharing this- I spent the entire day yesterday incapacitated after just a single day of landscaping in my yard. Nothing major either. Dug up a dead tree and planted a new one. Boxed in my tomato/pepper/herb garden. Spread a little dirt and manure.

Done in by a small Bradford Pear tree...

I couldn't go to church yesterday morning much less sit on a drummer's throne and play drums. What an embarrassing text message to have to send. I couldn't teach my Sunday School class of college-aged kids whose backs are nearly invincible to overexertion . Yet another embarrassment. 46 is NOT the new 30...let me tell you! Apparently my alter ego just doesn't understand the decrepit state of the reality involved in a winter of continuous inactivity for the aging. Not that I'm looking for anyone to compete with in a dead lift competition... I just need to still mulch my flower beds!

Maybe I'll just take a walk during lunch...tomorrow...when my back feels hopefully much better.

Okay, women are from Venus...and men are from Ork.

2011-04-06T22:22:00.000-04:00

My friend David Johndrow is broken...

Oh it's not a permanent problem, and he's on the mend (but please still lift him in your prayers). A lot of you know David from his own blog over at Fire and Grace, his Monday post on Kingdom Bloggers and/or his comments left on my blog. Love the guy! We chat fairly often on the phone across the Mason/Dixon line (that's allowed now), and I honestly consider David a true friend (as defined in Monday's post). Since he was in the midst of possible cardiac arrest, I forgive him for not throwing a little love my way on Monday's controversial post that provoked unkind words by some.

But let's not revisit that fiasco. Hey people...I was just kidding...sorta...

But I digress... so in honor of my vascularly clean brother of the catheterized order, my post today will be in the Johndrow style of 5 and 1/2 points. I enjoyed his series in this style, and as they say, imitation is the ultimate form of flattery.

Since I ever so slightly poked fun of the fairer sex earlier this week (ahem), I find it only just to reflect inward at the simple, neanderthal-like thought process of my own sex...and in particular...me. I feel pretty confident I reasonably represent the common interest and thought process of all Y chromosome humans, but then again, making such often incorrect assumptions is a standing pattern for most males too.

In the spirit of either gender equality or continuing proof men are complete and hopeless idiots, I give you the Johndrow-style list of the 5 and 1/2 material things that do or would make my life much more livable...or at least enjoyable:

-1 A big cereal bowl. Both adjectives must apply in this case, or this is just dumb. I'll admit in my younger, less sophisticated days I've whipped out a clear Pyrex 2 1/2 quart-er and commenced to chowing down on some 'Charms, but I don't think it's asking too much for a man to dignify his cereal consumption with a bowl that's large enough and specific to the task at hand by being appropriately labeled with his name or the generic example in the picture. How big you ask? The bowl should be large enough to contain an entire 24 ounce box of Post Grape-Nuts and an adequate amount of milk.

Not that there's any danger of that healthy crap ever actually being in the bowl...just the gold standard for cereal measurement.

-2 One brand name power tool that cost over $500. Yes, we're

stepping this list up a bit, and yes I know my example picture is well above $500...but a man can have a dream can't he?! Nothing is more emasculating than to be talking with you buds about fixing up the 'cave' and accidentally reveal your tool/war chest is comprised mostly of Wal-Mart brand tools. I pray you never experience the complete and utter humiliation of a friend stopping by to do a quick adjustment on his wheels, and you have to offer up use of the Dollar General tool box and tool set you received for Christmas in 1994. I'm stopping here now...I find myself getting really upset.

-3 A flagpole in the front yard for flying the American flag. Can that really be asking too much? I'm a veteran and proud American and want all my neighbors to know just that by proudly displaying our country's standard on an aluminum, single-stationary, concrete set, 20-foot flagpole with 24-hour illumination as required by proper flag displaying etiquette. It sends a clear, unmistakable message to would be socialist revolutionaries...not on my watch. not in my neighborhood! I could also take advantage of the educational opportunity and teach my kids the meaning and significance behind the designs of the flag and the importance Old Glory symbolizes for our country.

I'd better do it because apparently the public school system stopped teaching that stuff years ago...

-4 A completely juvenile toy for my personal amusement. Are you really surprised? Guys have long been noted for their toy fetishes. Hey, we actually coined the phrase he who dies with the most toys wins... how much more preposterous can you be than that? I'm not looking for my own personal playroom filled with G.I. Joes and Hot Wheels from days gone by here. I'm convinced one of the reasons God gave me three daughters is He knows I'm prone to covetousness behavior while roaming around in Toys-R-Us. There would never be an enough if my focus was in the Star Wars action figures aisle instead of the My Little Pony section.

I did say one of the reasons for those of you shaking your heads...

I just want a toy that, although made for kids 12 and older, doesn't come across too childish and elementary but is still really cool and fun. Alas, my search may be over with the Air Hog, a state-of-the-art flying instrument of entertainment with an aerial surveillance device. Pinch me please...

-5 My own personal bathroom. Yes...I went there. Maybe I got greedy and gluttonous with this pick, but by golly I'm at least being honest! I live in a house with four females and three bathrooms...and Give a Brother a Break Day is not to be found on any of my calendars. Granted, one of the four ladies is still making poo in disposable underwear, but the day is coming...the day is surely coming. It never fails in that treasured moment of isolation while catching up on back-post of Fire and Grace (dude must post every six hours) or the latest The Economist issue, the Crazy Tomato feels the urge to bang on the door repeatedly and demand entrance into my temporary respite. There's another bathroom less than 20 feet away! As if cutting my time short isn't enough harassment, she has to go into the whole production of pointing out the malodorous environment left behind loud enough for anyone and everyone to hear that often includes a running announcement through the entire house even with visitors present. Trust me...there's a golden statue in the kid's future.

Let's not forget about the chemistry experiment of necessary beauty products littering the space. I live in

constant fear of the day I mistake my bottle of Suave 7 in 1 for Men (shampoo/conditioner/shaving lotion/after shave/body wash/moistuizer/toothpaste)for one of the other 17 bottles in the shower and end up blond...or worse...bald! There's stuff in there for that! Where I shower! I don't need a lot of space, just my own space. The bathroom in this picture would be plenty...add a magazine rack and flat screen.

I'm just saying. I already have wi-fi in the house.

-5 1/2 iPad 2. For work of course...

A post that most assuredly comes with a disclaimer...

2011-04-04T16:04:00.006-04:00

I truly value friendship...

Within the balancing act we call life, I place more importance on being a friend than having a friend too. I just really enjoy being called someone's friend! Next to being a child of God, a faithful and true husband, and then a dedicated father, being a friend is right up there in importance and priority for me.

I've learned a great deal about friendship in my life's journey to this point too. If being a 'bad' friend required a 12-step program for recovery, that step involving apologies might be embarrassingly long in my plan. Believe me...I pain to even type those words much less relive in my mind the circumstances incorporating each situation. If you're reading this and the proverbial shoe fits...I'm really sorry, and if it's any consolation whats-so-ever, I'm not that person you knew back then today.

What I don't understand is the vast difference in which men and women approach the relationship dynamic called friendship.

Don't give me that! You know EXACTLY what I mean by that statement.

Now I'm by no means saying one is right and one is wrong...just different. Take for example, say, Mrs. Tony C and myself (gulp). I have true friends that go back years...even before the Reagan Administration (yes, I'm that old). I may not talk to some of them once a year or even every other, but they are still what I consider true friends. How do I define friendship you ask? I define a true friend as someone who, if I'm in need, will answer the call and rally support at a moment's notice. They would also know the reverse would apply should they find a need. No questions, no hesitation. Flare goes up...calvary's on the way. I don't even have to think twice about it.

In this category, I could easily put 20 people, all of whom coicidentally would be male (minus Mrs. Tony C. of course). Some I'm close with today, and some I've not spoken with directly in over a year. There's no need for regular communications if the situation isn't condusive to such because...brother, I've still got your back! You got problems, then I've got them too...kinda of stuff.

Then there's the fairer sex. Honestly, I never know who's in and who's out at any given minute much less day with Mrs. Tony C. But now she's not alone in this club. She just happens to be my point of reference at the present. I've literally been talking to what I thought was one of her friends while we were out shopping when something along these 'hypothetical' lines accured:

Tony C: Hey honey, look who I found.

Mrs. Tony C*: Oh hey! How are you? Have have you been? You look great. How's the little one? I know, they grow so fast don't they! So good to see you! We need to get together soon. Bye-bye. (hug)

Tony C: It was great seeing her. She looks good to have just had a baby...doesn't she?

Mrs. Tony C: So what are you saying? I'm fat! That what you're saying? For the record, I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans a week after giving birth!!

Tony C: (totally confused) I...I ...

Mrs. Tony C: I nothing! I see how it is...can't leave you alone in the grocery store for a minute.

Tony C: I thought you two were good friends?!

Mrs. Tony C.: Do what?! I haven't talk to her in a month! She's too busy for me...

Tony C: She just had a baby!

Mrs. Tony C: You taking up for her now? Is that what's you're doing? You don't know her type! I know her type. I've seen her type. Only my friend when she needs or wants something. Telling me... made me go and have to talk to her. Did you see how she was checking out our buggy. She's just nosey. Plain nosey.

Tony C: I'm really sorry. I just thought you two had been close friends for years.

Mrs. Tony C: You're just dumb sometimes. You know that? Dumb.

Tony C: (mumbling under breath) I tell you dumb, telling me, ain't never gonna figure out...

Mrs. Tony C: Did you say something? Speak up!

Tony C: I said I want some Cap'n Crunch!

Mrs. Tony C: What are you? Five? Guess you think I need some Special K?

Tony C: Hey look! It's...(pausing)...are we talking to her?

Mrs. Tony C: (shoving me out of the way) Oh hey girl! How are you? You look good!

Okay guys. If you have a wife or girlfriend, go ahead and tell me you've never been participant in a conversation like or very close to this one...I double-dog dare you. My true friends will even be so brave as to leave a comment of support...which I most surely will need after this is posted.

* The Mrs. Tony C character depicted in this post is not based on any living or deceased person to knowledge by the same name and should not in any way reflect on a real person by the same name or likeness...so help me God.

There's just no need for that sort of language young man...

2011-03-28T16:13:00.001-04:00

I had a serious crack up moment yesterday during church...

Things were kicking at First Free Will Baptist Church in Church Hill, Tennessee yesterday morning! The second service started with a couple of baptisms followed by some very spirited worship music. Sandwiched in between a couple of congregational Praise Team songs, our choir did two numbers that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. God's Spirit was present and very evident...because that's about all that can get a bunch of conservative Baptist up out of their seats and at least acting excited about being at church . For some odd reason, Baptist think all the 'Shout Glory!' moments belong to the Pentecostals. Don't get me wrong, I love the church I attend and the people who go there with all my heart...I just wish we'd collectively get as excited more often about Heaven as much as we do about March Madness. Sometimes we're just too much Joel Osteen and not enough T.D. Jakes.

I say that about the congregation though and not about our pastor. There's definitely some T.D. in him, and we get a glimpse from time to time too. I love my pastor. He's a learned man of God's word, an excellent speaker, a snappy dresser and thankfully my friend. For a couple of years, he was also my radio broadcasting partner for our local high school's football team. Good times. We laughed a lot telling stories back and forth and spent some good quality time in fellowship too.

So, Pastor D is into his sermon and working the charged up, receptive crowd...I'm sure a dream scenario for a preacher. The sanctuary is still buzzing from a corporate worship high, and he's making witty observations, zinging points of piousness and generally bringing the Word as the supportive interjections and Amen's are flying from the front pew to the crowded back.

Then it happened.

The man went and had the audacity to mention that word in his sermon. You know the one...the 's' word...in the sanctuary! (gasp)

(Cue needle scratching across record sound effect) Congregational lock-up. Silence...then cricket noises. A man sitting close to me actually froze looking like the horse from Animal House after Flounder fires the pistol loaded with blanks at him.

Did he actually just say sex, teenagers and virginity in the same sentence...in church?! Oh the humanity...

Don't be mistaken to believe the old school way of thinking doesn't still exist in the Bible Belt. You know what way I'm talking about too...the if we don't talk about it then it really doesn't happen attitude. So if we don't talk about our teenagers having premarital sex...they must not be doing it...I mean...having sex that is. My forward-thinking (don't even try to insert the word liberal here) father-in-law leaned over and said to me- There should have been 'Amens' all over this church.

You better believe there should have been enthusiastic Amen's coming from the fired up congregation! Pastor D made an excellent point to the young people in attendance about the virtues of abstinence, purity and the sanctity of marriage. Come on people!

But the guy who should have been actually shouting preach it brother! the loudest was...the man with three daughters...sitting right next to his father-in-law! Who was sitting right next to his teenager sitting next to her boyfriend. (sigh) I have no excuse. I froze in the moment too...like that proverbial deer in the oncoming headlights. My reserved Methodist roots too closely connected and even related to my current denominational standing. May the Spirit please forgive me for being a wet blanket on such a smoking hot service...

The uneasiness lingered just briefly, and Pastor D had everyone reeled back in from their temporary lapse of flabbergast. Sure. He's been there before in sermons and knew exactly what to do. I'm pretty sure the tactic is actually taught at seminary schools...when in a Baptist church...just start talking about food!

I just love being a Baptist...at times I'm really quite good at it.

You say tomato...I say let's eat!

2011-03-24T06:35:00.002-04:00

We just screamed past the Vernal Equinox...and already I'm thinking about tomatoes.

Spring has sprung and brought a wave of nice weather here in the Southeast. I watched my unacclimated neighbors whom hail from the North busy about their yards planting flowers and such this weekend. For the record, that's about as nice as you'll ever hear a sentence around these parts that contains a reference to both people from the North and the word hail/hell...which is homophonic to us. But that's a different post all together.

Alas, the indigenous know better! Digging a hole and sticking in a begonia can only mean one thing in March...you'll be buying another begonia in May. Despite the lunatic rantings of native Al Gore, Southerners know the reality of the Calendar Spring/Actual Spring trick bag. I blogged about the progressive indicators a few years back (with a sly reference to hooters...I mean..hoot owls), and the trust we hold for the Farmers' Almanac. Southerners don't put a lot of stock into that prognosticating rodent above the Mason-Dixon line either. The idolatry of an overgrown squirrel is just odd to us. The only good that's ever come from a groundhog is the fact they are the major reason grandma needed a 6.5 quart slow-cooker. Pudgy varmints. But...I'm way off subject!

Yes, I truly do love homegrown tomatoes. Summer comes closely associated with the divinely inspired combination of white bread, sliced red tomato, mayo and a sprinkle of salt. Kosher if you're fancy. I'd bet a tomato sandwich was one of the first meals Eve presented to Adam after his busy day of naming animals in the Garden of Eden...and men have been stupid for the fairer sex ever since. As a matter of fact, the Bible doesn't actually say an apple came from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. (egad!) Could it have actually been a tomato that thrust mankind into the harshness of a brutal world?! That would mean the Garden of Eden was in South America because everyone knows that's where the tomato originated (despite what the Italians say). What's that? Tomatoes don't grow on trees you say?

Then explain this------>

Now I've gone and opened a theological discussion completely off subject! (sigh)

So as tempted as I may be, this old boy knows better than to haul down to the local garden shop and pick up a few Beefmaster or Floramerica plants to get an early jump on growing season. Nope. Here in USDA Plant Hardiness Zone 6B, we don't stick annuals in the ground a minute before Mother's Day...unless you're wealthy enough to own your own greenhouse. Wow. There's a thought.

Now I know one of the first thing I'm doing after I win the lottery...

Apples nor tomatoes fall far from the tree...I mean vine.

2011-03-19T20:17:00.000-04:00

Why my 3-year-old is nicknamed the Crazy Tomato...

* This video has been proudly block by some countries on YouTube.

I ate Lucky Charms for breakfast....does that count?

2011-03-17T12:19:00.001-04:00

All of these religious celebrations of late have me really confused...

Today is St. Patrick's Day, an official religious celebration for the Roman Catholic church (among others) honoring the patron saint of Ireland. There will be parades, festivals and general hoopla worldwide to include turning the Chicago River green in recognition of the 4th century bishop. I've read the original celebratory color was blue, but since Saint Patrick was well known to use the shamrock to illustrate the Holy Trinity to the...ahem...slower pagan Irish, green eventually won out. Bet people in Chicago wish it had stayed blue.

So celebrations will be in full bloom today and the Irish beer and whiskey will flow...

But wait. Didn't Lent just start. Is that just a fish thing? I couldn't help but notice McDonald's has the Filet-O-Fish at a special 2 for $3 price starting back on Ash Wednesday. But aren't you suppose to fast on Ash Wednesday? Why would I need 2 fish sandwiches then? Is that even really fish in those things? They always squirt the tartar sauce too far to one side too, and I end up with the stuff all over me, causing me to swear...I mean fuss...and generally get aggravated and think bad things about some poor smuck working at McDonald's...

Wait! Where was I going with all this? Oh yes, so as I understand it, since St. Patrick's Day falls on Thursday this year, I don't have to worry about Lent or hoping the bishop of the local diocese gives dispensations from the normal Lenten regulations, and I can go about celebrating my 1/16th Irish heart out. Now we're talking! Except...I'm not exactly sure what I just said. Diocese? Dispensations? Wait! Isn't Lent about focusing on Jesus leading up to Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Wasn't I suppose to get all that out of my system by Fat Tuesday during Mardi Gra or Festival or Masquerade...aagggghhhh! It's just all too confusing!

I'm sure glad I'm a Protestant. Catholics have it rough this time of year! I'm going to McDonald's for lunch and having a Big Mac. Hope they don't get the sauce too far too one side. It always drips down your hand. Stupid smucks. So aggravating...

Freedom of speech is unfortunately protective of stupidity...

2011-03-15T16:55:00.001-04:00

There are a couple of disturbing stories sliding under the radar this week due to the focus on Japan... and rightfully so. The world should collectively be reaching out to the island nation with acts of compassion and vows of action to support whatever they might need to regroup. The devastation is crippling. The images horrifying. Just last night watching replayed news footage of the tsunami making landfall, I realized what we were actually watching was real people dying in captured moments from last week's events.

The 3-year old was sitting in the floor staring up at the television, then suddenly got up without a word and ran back into the hallway to kick a ball and play. I watched her leave and wondered what was going through her innocent, immature mind. Conversations saved for a later date...

One of the stories I mentioned involves the events in Japan. Apparently, Gilbert Gottfried found the need to poke fun of the situation and tweet a string of very distasteful one-liners. Okay. He's known for his offensive brand of humor, but he's obviously not very bright either (I personally think the two attributes go hand-in-hand). Gottfried, besides being a washed up comedian, is the voice of the AFLAC duck...let me restate that...was the voice of the AFLAC duck. His employer didn't find the humor being directed at a damaged nation that is, by industry estimates, 25 percent insured with their company. They fired him.

The second story involves another agitating comedian, this one turned demogogue, in Bill Maher. On his show On Real Time, Maher interviewed Congressman Keith Ellison, a muslim from Minnesota, and blasted into him about the Kor'an being a “hate-filled holy book…which is taken very literally by its people.”

Bill O'Reilly (a non-comedic demogogue...well, to a certain degree) called Maher out on the issue last night on his show and said the media was giving Maher a pass because he's a liberal. O'Reilly claimed when an issue with Islam is sighted by a conservative commentator (i.e Juan Williams of Fox News), they become demonized by the media as intolerant. He also threw in a dig that it also might have been ignored because nobody watches Maher's show...as if that's a relevent point.

So, a liberal agitator is talking bad about Muslims as if he's suddenly Rush Limbaugh, a conservative agitator who also hates Muslims, and is called out by yet another conservative agitator, who hates Muslims too, because he thinks the whole thing is so unfair when compared to Juan Williams, a conservative demogogue, who got into trouble because he's was very clear on the air that he hates Muslims.

Everyone clear?

Of course, all parties involved are standing and spewing their venom-fillled messages while positioned under their First Amendment umbrellas that protects each of them from any censoring repercussions. After all...this is America.

Back to my 3-year old. She will grow up in a loving home. She will develop her own political ideas and principles while living in a conservative environment, guided by Christian values. The importance of both character and education will be stressed to her regularly. She will be taught she is responsible for her words as well as her actions. At some point in the future, she will find her own way out of our home and into the world. She will never be demeaned for thinking independently from me or her mother. She will answer for herself, and only herself, to God.

I say all that to say this...I would rather any one of my daughters sit and watch the tragedies of life unfold under the guiding, comforting direction of her mother or myself than be subject to the idiotic rantings of political talking heads in the media. Liberal and conservative demogogues alike all have a motive tied to ratings and not enlightenment. To sensationalism and not education. I've blogged before about the dangerous seeds these hypnotist sow.

What troubles me most is the flippant manner in which they throw around the First Amendment to disguise and protect their vile statements. I don't believe our nation's Founding Fathers ever intented for the right of free speech to be protective of indiscriminate, loathesome language aimed carelessly among ourselves. Their focus was on keeping a restrictive government from forming in our new nation. We've twisted and perversed one of our most treasured priviledges into a dichotomy opinion so divisive and polarizing that the resulting political quagmire has incapcitated our ability to effectively govern. To protect and serve the common good.

I'm not a Muslim, and I don't agree with the basis of that religion. I'm not a liberal, and I don't agree with the basis of that ideology. I'm not a _________, you could finish that with hundreds, maybe thousands, of things. And while I'm completely free to express my opinion on any opposing point of view to my own here, at home or even in some other form of media, I'm still bound by the principles of common courtesy and decency. There is a self-policing community standard that keeps things neat and orderly...civil...but it seems to be somehow breaking down. That scares me. Just as much as the other end of the spectrum called political correctness scares me when it becomes mutated to an extreme.

How do we get back to some ground of normalcy before this all goes too far? I think it starts by at least discounting the Mahers, Limbaughs, Olbermanns and O'Reillys for what they really are...entertainers. Each one has a motive for what they say and that motive is not the common good or making society better. In the most utopian of scenerios, their job is to find that public raw nerve that provokes emotions (justified or not) which generates attention, thus ratings, and draws sponsorship dollars. Their payday.

For the Gottfried's of the world...the comedians, commentators, talking heads and yes, bloggers, who think anything and everything can be said without consequence because this is the United States, and we have rights...think again. You are liable for what you say, and you will be held accountable when you go too far either in a court of law or the court of public opinion. Both end up being costly when catching up to you...just ask the duck.

Making fun of people always involves that rubber and glue thing...

2011-03-09T19:50:00.001-05:00

I catch a lot of ribbing from my friends because I like the PBS Newshour...

Wait! Before you bail on me, please hear me out. If I can open myself up by exposing personal information from which you can mock me, pay me the courtesy of allowing me to explain my position. I did say please.

From my days way back in college, I was a MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour fan. When Robert MacNeil retired in 1995 from the program, I realized an important part of television history went with him. He had anchored or co-anchored PBS news for over 20 years during a time when the vast majority of the country didn't have cable/satellite television, much less 24-hour news stations.

So Jim Lehrer picked up the slack and carried on the PBS news tradition. Liberals put down PBS news for being too corporate and establishment friendly. Conservatives mock the program for being on lowly public television which is so anti-capitalist (psst...aka communist) and bourgeois.

Sidebar: If bourgeois is synonymous with both commonplace and conservative, and conservative is synonymous with traditional and cautious, shouldn't conservatives (like myself) be content with commonplace and classicist? That's always puzzled me. Back to the show...

Most of my peers are die-hard Fox News people. Personally, I'm a philosophical conservative and don't need to be told how to think like a conservative or made to feel guilty for not necessarily agreeing with the Republican Party platform. Strike that. The Republican Party platform isn't the issue with me...it's the Republicans who don't pay attention to their own party's platform and spend and tax like that other category of political philosophy. Elitist...I mean liberals.

Geezzz. I knew this would get off course.

Back to the PBS Newshour. I just don't want my news from a source with on obvious bias...conservative or liberal. While the Newshour has been accused of leaning right, it's just not so obvious to me. The show does a great job of presenting both sides of an issue in my opinion, and while some stories are inherently conservative or liberal by nature, neither are openly demonized. That's refreshing and allows me to sneer, laugh or yell at the program when I feel like it...and not when I'm cued.

Jim Lehrer laid out the reporting guidelines he and MacNeil had used through the years for the program in an interview in 2009 as the show transformed again to its current format. They are:

Do nothing I cannot defend. Cover, write and present every story with the care I would want if the story were about me. Assume there is at least one other side or version to every story. Assume the viewer is as smart and as caring and as good a person as I am. Assume the same about all people on whom I report.

Assume personal lives are a private matter, until a legitimate turn in the story absolutely mandates otherwise. Carefully separate opinion and analysis from straight news stories, and clearly label everything. Do not use anonymous sources or blind quotes, except on rare and monumental occasions. No one should ever be allowed to attack another anonymously.

And, finally, I am not in the entertainment business.

I need no other justifications for viewing.

For the record, I do wish PBS was solely supported by local communities without tax dollars....I am a conservative after all.

The federal budget is really quite simple...when you think about it.

2011-03-07T12:23:00.001-05:00

We all know the federal budget is complex. But come on... if a bunch as diverse (I'm using nice words today) as the United States Congress can figure it all out, I feel pretty good about your average concerned citizen.

Average concerned citizen = most of us...by the way.

While large numbers can have a discombobulating effect on the easily startled person, the federal budget is really no different from your household budget for the most part. Sure, you have to cut and paste a few line tags under the four major categories of:

What's coming in
What's going out
What we have
What we owe

Say for example, that line in your home budget for landscaping the front walkway would be exchanged for the North American Wetlands Conservation Act, or the home budget line allocated for miscellaneous gifts would be replaced by the Poems in Zoos Project in the federal budget.

No really...that's a federal grant to place more poetry in our nation's zoos at the tune of $1 million. Apparently our zoo animals are not cultured enough.

So as you can see, your home budget and the federal budget are basically the same...in principle...sort of.

I use the new sophisticated Mint.com online program to help keep the family finances in order. The program pulls data directly from my 'what's going out' sources and categorizes the expense across my pre-established budget. If I spend too much on, say, eating out at lunch, I get a friendly reminder telling me this once I've exceeded my monthly budget.

Of course in the said example, Mrs. Tony C has been looking for an interface that automatically connects with ediets.com, so they can send me a far less friendly reminder that I'm obviously lying on my journal entries. Luckily, she hasn't found one to date.

But, back to the budget issue. So, I can even create an neat, easy-to-read pie chart that shows my budget, my actual expenditures (what's going out) and the shortfalls at the press of a button. I looked for an easy-to- read pie chart breaking down the proposed 2011 federal budget, and surprisingly, I just couldn't find one! Apparently...there are some significant differences between the federal budget and our personal home budgets after all. Pie just doesn't come that big!

I did find a helpful interactive 2011 federal budget chart at (of all places) the NY Times (NY Times interactive link). It's worth taking a look at...if your Monday isn't aggravating enough already that is.

Now that I actually think about it... I don't think my personal 'what I have' category could ever sustain $1 trillion added to the 'what I owe' side. Maybe that was a stupid analogy after all.

You've got a friend in Me...

2011-02-28T17:00:00.000-05:00

I sat down today with the intention of writing a post about one of last night's Oscar winners, Randy Newman. What could be more entertaining than a piece about a singer/song writer who once recorded a song about short people and is now famous for songs written for short people? I've never really held that first one against him either...

But I'm going a different direction. A much different direction at that. I'm going to talk about our awesome God.

I was an emotional train wreck yesterday at church. For as much as I try to come across on Tony C Today as a hard-nosed. rock-gut former Jarhead, the truth is I'm often reduced to tears at the things I see God do. Now He already knows this, but for the sake of my faux-macho image I try to maintain, let's please not spread around that I'm prone to the water works.

After a very pleasant Saturday night dinner with two very good friends, I was in bed a little earlier than normal because I was attending early service Sunday morning. The church I attend has two worship service, one at 8:30 and one at 11, with Sunday School sandwiched in between. The second service is a contemporary-style service, and since I play drums in the Praise Team, the one I normally attend. On occasion, I do play drums for the choir which usually sings for both services. As it would happen, the choir was down in numbers for a variety of reasons, and needed a few bodies for both services.

Let me state, I do not profess to be a singer. I can, however, lip sync to put Milli Vanilli to shame (just google it young people), and the Choir Director is a person very dear to me. He has been my musical mentor for the past several years, and I'd definitely take a bullet for him (sorry, off setting the mushy stuff). To boot, he had been sick in that early morning, yet there he was being as obedient to his service as always.

Running behind as usual, I get there with just moments to spare. We throw down on a few hymns for the traditional worship service (which I've really come to enjoy playing), then it's choir time. I squeeze out of my drumming corner (literally) and head for the stage. As I look around at the thin numbers, it suddenly hits me I'm the only tenor in attendance (and I use the category tenor very loosely). There will be no lip syncing, plus the two songs we are singing both have parts that feature the tenors.

Sweating profusely doesn't do descriptive justice to my state at that moment...

The Director is looking at me nervously while trying to convey confidence all the while I'm sure afraid I might fall out at any moment. I took a deep breath, said a little prayer reminding God about the line in His word on making a joyful noise, and prepared to send something His way giving it my best shot.

Now let me also state for the record that when all was said and done, I still won't be expecting an invitation from the other two guys to replace the late Pavarotti in the The Three Tenors. But, I did have a feeling of peace for doing what I felt God wanted me to do.

I stayed for the first sermon and really enjoyed/related to the message. Blessing. Sunday School finished up a seven-week series that has really changed the way I look at certain aspect of my life. Blessing. As people filed in for the second service, God apparently just decided to dump His blessing pitcher right on my head.

I've been praying for two different people at church for two completely different reasons, and both of them walked right in for service. I got to briefly talk to both, fighting back tears, before it was time to take my place. As the choir assembled, I now had a couple of true tenors around me to shoulder...ahem...the load. But apparently that wasn't enough because a young man I've been encouraging to sing in the choir for some time walked right up and stood beside me.

Let me add that his dad was standing in front of the choir ready to direct for a second time despite his rough night medically. That's right...same guy. He needs no better example of obedient service to the Kingdom than the example his dad sets on a regular basis.

As we prepared to sing again, I looked out and seen my two friends sitting with their respective families. I saw my own family preparing to worship together too, and I saw so many people I deeply love and care about coming into one accord. Combined with my young friend standing beside me ready to belt out God of the Ages, I was overwhelmed with joy. Dropping my head, I started to weep, and I didn't care who saw it either.

I sang a lot louder the second time around. The Praise Team had two songs to play too, and we were well into the second song before I finally got it together. Mrs. Tony C said after the fact you couldn't tell my groove was off...but honestly...I really didn't care about that either. I was on a Holy Spirit high and nothing was stopping me from enjoying God's gracious blessings.

When I left for church early Sunday morning, I went with every intention of giving my best effort to God. When I left church early Sunday afternoon, God had given me far more in those few hours than I could ever give Him back in a lifetime of my best efforts. All I can do is share His greatness with others...and relish in your stories of His love along with you.

The world could look vastly different by 2012...

2011-02-21T14:26:00.000-05:00

We're sitting in front rows seats as history unfolds in the Middle East, but most people are already bored and ready to change the channel.

60 Minutes aired a segment last night on the 26-old Tunisian fruit vendor most Westerners have never heard of...Mohammed Bouazizi. His act of defiance was the initial domino to fall in the ongoing sequence of revolutionary events. I encourage you to check the story out here.

Tunisians ran a corrupt dictator in power for 23 years right out of the country by protesting in mass numbers. Far too many numbers for the small government police force to try to control. Nevertheless, people died to bring change to their country. At the center of the revolutionary movement...Facebook.

Egypt took note. So did Yemen, Bahrain and Libya with ongoing protest still to determine an outcome. Iranian revolutionaries have tried to gain some type of momentum for change, but unlike the uprisings in the fore-mentioned countries, they lack the ability to coordinate and mobilize. They lack access to the new tools of revolution...Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Americans have become so saturated with daily doses of sensationalism from the 24-hour news stations that it has become increasingly difficult to recognize what history will record as pivotal and what will be forgotten next week. I believe we are watching history on a 'once in a generation or two' scale unfold. Our country has been fighting for democratic change in neighboring Iraq and Afghanistan for a decade at the cost of thousands of lives and billions of dollars, while the action of a single, working and obscure man in one of the most peaceful nations on the planet triggered a wave of change still plowing through the region. Dictators Mubarak and Ben Ali are gone. Al-Asaad, Saleh and Gadhafi could be the next to go. Ahmadinejad can't be feeling too comfortable after Iranians protested over accused fraud in his 2009 re-election. My, my...the winds of change are whipping through the Arab region like never before.

Another crucial point to consider is the role Islam will ultimately play after all this shakes out. The Western view of democracy vastly differs from the rising views of the Middle East where democracy and freedom of religion (and thus, ultimately speech) are not interlaced. Stephen Prothero, professor of Religion at Boston University, has an excellent editorial piece in the USA Today that's worth checking out here.

No conclusions today folks...this one's got a ways to play out. Stay informed because in the end, it's really going to matter.

For the sake of good taste...I'll refrain from Dolly Parton references.

2011-02-18T12:07:00.001-05:00

No sooner had the 2011 Federal Budget proposal been released, and the crap started flying.

I keep clinging to the hope that eventually the general public will wake up and realize what fools our elected officials in Washington take us to be. The budget is released this week and immediately the spin begins on both sides. Half truths. Blatant lies. Double talk. It's all there.

As a conservative, I'm actually madder at the Republicans than I am the Democrats. We know where the liberals are coming from in this country...tax, spend, rinse, and repeat. But for mainstream Republicans to get up and start spewing President Obama this and President Obama that is just a slap in the face to informed, concerned voters. The Grand Old Party was given back control of the House for one reason...get spending and the deficit under control and do it now!

I don't want to hear about tax cuts. I don't want to hear about non-discretionary spending. I don't want to hear about taking the military budget off the table. We've heard it all before...let's see...oh that's right, just five short years ago when Republicans controlled the White House and Congress and federal spending increased nearly 4 percent in back-to-back years of 2005 and 2006. Republicans probably don't want people to know spending only increased 1.4 percent in 2010 (aka President Obama's first year in office).

To hear the newly elected Speaker of the House stand at a called budget press conference and cry about Obama adding 200,000 new federal jobs this past year is both insulting and irritating. Here's an idea... Instead of playing the politics as usual blaming game, roll up your sleeves, make some difficult choices and give us a balanced budget. That's just for starters!

The first thing Washington and those who feed off the chum of Washington start spinning is how complicated the federal budget really is and how complex and intricately related the various variables are. Really? I don't need a Masters in Economics from Harvard to understand that the country's 2010 GDP was $14.7 trillion and the total 2010 Gross Public Debt was $14.13 trillion or 96.3 percent of GDP...and that can't be good.

But alas, I have studied economics and do understand that we are in fiscal uncharted territory in this country. Sure, Public Debt has been high before, but the cocktail of economic conditions were very different in each historical case. Public Debt has proven to have an adverse affect on inflation, interest rates and economic growth. Each of those affects all of us in one way or another too. All it will take to remove the dark cloud hanging over our economic future is to exercise a little self-control. No...we're past that point. A lot of self-control. The federal government is just too big and needs to be drastically reduced. It's that simple. Shrink the size of government and Public Debt returns to a manageable level. Balance the federal budget, and we don't have to worrying about our grandchildren not living in the world's dominant economic superpower.

Back to President Obama...you didn't think he was getting a pass on here today surely?

His proposed budget adds $1 trillion to the current debt. Let me just make sure and clarify that means increases. Have we become so callused by large numbers that a trillion just doesn't seem so darn big anymore? Well let me put that into perspective...

David Schwartz, a children's book author whose How Much Is a Million? tries to wrap young minds around the concept- "One million seconds comes out to be about 11½ days. A billion seconds is 32 years. And a trillion seconds is 32,000 years. I like to say that I have a pretty good idea what I'll be doing a million seconds from now, no idea what I'll be doing a billion seconds from now, and an excellent idea of what I'll be doing a trillion seconds from now."

To me, the same analogy applies to dollars, and it ends with a bankrupt future for our country. Don't be so quick to write off the Tea Party movement and its ideas as just Chicken Little crying 'the sky is falling!' That's just the typical politics of Republicans and Democrats alike...and exactly what they want you to believe about the Tea Party while they continue their Potomac Two-Step dance of irresponsible fiscal behavior.

It's time for true elected conservatives to start acting conservative and not just using the label. Yes, I'm a little aggravated...and if you're a conservative, you should be too!